Fan Fiction: B&S - With or Without You
Title: With or Without You
Author: semisweetsoul
Fandom: Brothers & Sisters
Characters: Kevin, Justin with mentions of all the Walkers.
Word Count: 1,218 words
Rating: G
Prompt: Kevin & Justin, little brother
Disclaimer: Not mine, just borrowing for a minute or two.
Summary: Reflexions on relationships.
Notes: Written for smallfandomfest, round 3 (last summer). I didn't like it, and though I believe some parts could be better, well here it is, nonetheless. The title is borrowed from U2's song. Hope you'll like it.
With or Without You
Kevin never realized how much his life would be different without Justin.
He shared with Tommy this magical and mysterious bond that only big brothers could understand. Except that being the middle child, as far as the Walker boys were concerned, gave him a twofold perspective. Younger brother to Tommy, older brother to Justin, Kevin knew the difference involuntarily being Tommy’s rough draft.
Kevin carried his two brothers and two sisters in his heart, but Justin occupied a special spot. How many times had his mother told him it was not the case at first?
When Kevin was three he asked for a little brother constantly, but when his parents announced the new addition five years later, he had changed his mind. He simply supposed his family would remain the six of them Walkers.
The crafty little devil had always taken advantage of his position in the family. His parents and siblings could not say no to the youngest child, and therefore the kid always obtained satisfaction. Kevin had yet to discover that a baby is not an object you can send back when you have a change of heart, and no tantrums he could throw would change the fact that a new Walker would join the family. Despite their promises that nothing would change, Kevin did not trust them. He had reasons not to.
Indeed, his parents forced him to let the incoming invader have his bedroom and move in with Tommy. The decoration of Kevin’s new territory, robots and pirates that he found ugly and scary, did not please him. To pacify their son and help him accept his new sibling, Nora and William indulged his every whim. He demanded and received, and Kitty was so jealous that she started to regret the new arrival, too.
She decided to teach the four-feet-tall scamp a lesson, but Kevin proved hard to convince. She had no other choice but to resort to emotional blackmail, Kitty would not allow him to play with her doll Grace anymore if he did not change his attitude.
Kevin loved Grace nearly as much as he loved his sister, so he surrendered.
When Sarah tried to recall the first time she met Kevin he could not believe she was telling the truth. She said he was crying so loudly that she knew he would be trouble, and Kitty added she had warned him before he was born that the only way to draw attention to yourself in their family was to make some fuss.
A month before Justin was born, they dragged Kevin to their mother, asleep on the couch, and softly whispered to the baby one after the other introducing themselves, but Kevin always had to be different and refused to speak. When Nora woke up, she took him on her lap and advised her youngest son to talk to the baby so it got used to his voice. Kevin complied, though he did not fully grasp the idea of a baby inside his mother, he just seized the opportunity to be the center of her attention for a moment. He snuggled close to her and rested his chin on her belly, and as she caressed the curly brown hair, looked her son straight in his eight-year-old blue eyes, and smiled at him, whispering, “I love you my Kevin”. The little boy smiled back, closed his eyes and glued his ear to his mom’s tummy as if to ear the baby breathing, and said, “I love you my mommy.”
Then Justin was born, and Kevin was not happy. He wanted a sister to name her Grace, but nature had decided otherwise, and once again, Kevin had to accept it. At first, he refused to see him, he cried and struggled and Nora was worried that an eight year old acted that way. They all talked to him telling him that once he would see the baby, he would change his mind, and he could not argue with that.
Justin was adorable and Kevin loved him instantly.
Their relationship between fun fiestas and frightening fights was a great balance to Justin’s relation with Tommy. Kevin effortlessly embraced his role as a big brother to Justin. Tommy, on the other hand, felt his position in the family granted him the right and duty to impose himself as a substitution father to Justin. Only Justin never asked for one, but Tommy was not prepared to accept that.
Although they were not the same age or the same temper, did not share many interests, did not look very much alike (Kevin was as much a Walker as Justin was a Holden) something more lay between them, a profound respect deepened by Justin's unlimited admiration for Kevin. He always came to Kevin for advice because where Sarah would be all motherly, Kitty would treat him as the eight wonder of the world and Tommy would patronize him, Kevin would simply be Kevin, direct and sarcastic but always honest. The only problem was that the second the conversation ended, he would tell everyone.
Despite everything, Justin looked up to Kevin. It made Kevin feel important and responsible and Justin felt the same way. Kevin was not aware of his fortune until he saw a similar sparkle in Rebecca and Scotty’s eyes that glistened in the siblings’ presence, as if for a few short seconds they could share the secret sentiment of standing in the scheme of sibs things, instead of just being ‘the only child’.
Rebecca wished for a sibling, too, and Kevin could fairly imagine her daydreaming about playful recreations with her imaginary baby sister Audrey.
Kevin knew that sometimes Scotty envied his relationship with his brothers and sisters. Blood-related allies or enemies given the circumstances could prove useful when some revelations had to be made. Scotty could have benefited from a compassionate ear and supportive smile when tensions arose with his parents.
The man Kevin was now, and had managed to become would not be the same without Justin.
One day his baby brother heard him cry. He sat beside him on the cold pantry floor, and smiling faintly handed him a box of tissue, and even before Kevin threatened to kill him if he made a gay joke or any joke Justin just smiled a sympathetic smile, and took his brother’s head on his shoulder because he thought that was how he would like Kevin to act the day a girl breaks his heart.
He liked to believe he returned Justin the favor; at least, he made it the mission of his life.
Kevin ended each letter he sent Justin in Afghanistan ‘take care, little brother’. He picked a different writing paper for each piece he wrote to give Justin a smile on his face when reading his brother’s correspondence. He made every effort for his letter to be legible, using the beautiful and expensive pen Justin offered him when he graduated, thinking his handwriting would feel warmer than some neatly typed page where he would just append his signature, like some paperwork he ought to sign, just because it had to be done, not because it was important or close to his heart.
Without Justin, Kevin would be lost and lonely, insecure but worst of all incomplete.
THE END
Author: semisweetsoul
Fandom: Brothers & Sisters
Characters: Kevin, Justin with mentions of all the Walkers.
Word Count: 1,218 words
Rating: G
Prompt: Kevin & Justin, little brother
Disclaimer: Not mine, just borrowing for a minute or two.
Summary: Reflexions on relationships.
Notes: Written for smallfandomfest, round 3 (last summer). I didn't like it, and though I believe some parts could be better, well here it is, nonetheless. The title is borrowed from U2's song. Hope you'll like it.
With or Without You
Kevin never realized how much his life would be different without Justin.
He shared with Tommy this magical and mysterious bond that only big brothers could understand. Except that being the middle child, as far as the Walker boys were concerned, gave him a twofold perspective. Younger brother to Tommy, older brother to Justin, Kevin knew the difference involuntarily being Tommy’s rough draft.
Kevin carried his two brothers and two sisters in his heart, but Justin occupied a special spot. How many times had his mother told him it was not the case at first?
When Kevin was three he asked for a little brother constantly, but when his parents announced the new addition five years later, he had changed his mind. He simply supposed his family would remain the six of them Walkers.
The crafty little devil had always taken advantage of his position in the family. His parents and siblings could not say no to the youngest child, and therefore the kid always obtained satisfaction. Kevin had yet to discover that a baby is not an object you can send back when you have a change of heart, and no tantrums he could throw would change the fact that a new Walker would join the family. Despite their promises that nothing would change, Kevin did not trust them. He had reasons not to.
Indeed, his parents forced him to let the incoming invader have his bedroom and move in with Tommy. The decoration of Kevin’s new territory, robots and pirates that he found ugly and scary, did not please him. To pacify their son and help him accept his new sibling, Nora and William indulged his every whim. He demanded and received, and Kitty was so jealous that she started to regret the new arrival, too.
She decided to teach the four-feet-tall scamp a lesson, but Kevin proved hard to convince. She had no other choice but to resort to emotional blackmail, Kitty would not allow him to play with her doll Grace anymore if he did not change his attitude.
Kevin loved Grace nearly as much as he loved his sister, so he surrendered.
When Sarah tried to recall the first time she met Kevin he could not believe she was telling the truth. She said he was crying so loudly that she knew he would be trouble, and Kitty added she had warned him before he was born that the only way to draw attention to yourself in their family was to make some fuss.
A month before Justin was born, they dragged Kevin to their mother, asleep on the couch, and softly whispered to the baby one after the other introducing themselves, but Kevin always had to be different and refused to speak. When Nora woke up, she took him on her lap and advised her youngest son to talk to the baby so it got used to his voice. Kevin complied, though he did not fully grasp the idea of a baby inside his mother, he just seized the opportunity to be the center of her attention for a moment. He snuggled close to her and rested his chin on her belly, and as she caressed the curly brown hair, looked her son straight in his eight-year-old blue eyes, and smiled at him, whispering, “I love you my Kevin”. The little boy smiled back, closed his eyes and glued his ear to his mom’s tummy as if to ear the baby breathing, and said, “I love you my mommy.”
Then Justin was born, and Kevin was not happy. He wanted a sister to name her Grace, but nature had decided otherwise, and once again, Kevin had to accept it. At first, he refused to see him, he cried and struggled and Nora was worried that an eight year old acted that way. They all talked to him telling him that once he would see the baby, he would change his mind, and he could not argue with that.
Justin was adorable and Kevin loved him instantly.
Their relationship between fun fiestas and frightening fights was a great balance to Justin’s relation with Tommy. Kevin effortlessly embraced his role as a big brother to Justin. Tommy, on the other hand, felt his position in the family granted him the right and duty to impose himself as a substitution father to Justin. Only Justin never asked for one, but Tommy was not prepared to accept that.
Although they were not the same age or the same temper, did not share many interests, did not look very much alike (Kevin was as much a Walker as Justin was a Holden) something more lay between them, a profound respect deepened by Justin's unlimited admiration for Kevin. He always came to Kevin for advice because where Sarah would be all motherly, Kitty would treat him as the eight wonder of the world and Tommy would patronize him, Kevin would simply be Kevin, direct and sarcastic but always honest. The only problem was that the second the conversation ended, he would tell everyone.
Despite everything, Justin looked up to Kevin. It made Kevin feel important and responsible and Justin felt the same way. Kevin was not aware of his fortune until he saw a similar sparkle in Rebecca and Scotty’s eyes that glistened in the siblings’ presence, as if for a few short seconds they could share the secret sentiment of standing in the scheme of sibs things, instead of just being ‘the only child’.
Rebecca wished for a sibling, too, and Kevin could fairly imagine her daydreaming about playful recreations with her imaginary baby sister Audrey.
Kevin knew that sometimes Scotty envied his relationship with his brothers and sisters. Blood-related allies or enemies given the circumstances could prove useful when some revelations had to be made. Scotty could have benefited from a compassionate ear and supportive smile when tensions arose with his parents.
The man Kevin was now, and had managed to become would not be the same without Justin.
One day his baby brother heard him cry. He sat beside him on the cold pantry floor, and smiling faintly handed him a box of tissue, and even before Kevin threatened to kill him if he made a gay joke or any joke Justin just smiled a sympathetic smile, and took his brother’s head on his shoulder because he thought that was how he would like Kevin to act the day a girl breaks his heart.
He liked to believe he returned Justin the favor; at least, he made it the mission of his life.
Kevin ended each letter he sent Justin in Afghanistan ‘take care, little brother’. He picked a different writing paper for each piece he wrote to give Justin a smile on his face when reading his brother’s correspondence. He made every effort for his letter to be legible, using the beautiful and expensive pen Justin offered him when he graduated, thinking his handwriting would feel warmer than some neatly typed page where he would just append his signature, like some paperwork he ought to sign, just because it had to be done, not because it was important or close to his heart.
Without Justin, Kevin would be lost and lonely, insecure but worst of all incomplete.
THE END