(no subject)
and you realize the song you liked so much (in an oddly over the top way, in fact. so much, you had to pretend like you didn't like it as much as you did) is from a movie. from the scene of the movie that was not in the least bit the saddest part of the movie, but the only scene that made you cry. the warm sun. the brown flowing hair. you see the scene so clearly now. you wonder if it's even from a movie anymore, or from your own memory. it's the song that makes you want her. that makes you think of her. that sums up a year of your life, and makes you want it all back. the song that, in the movie, is the pivot point - the scene where he realizes she is no longer his.
i want her more than anything in the world. and to say that is perfectly true, but a lie. i want my education and i want my career and i want my few years to fuck around (for once i don't mean it as a verb, but more in the british sense of the word). but i want her to be there when it's all said and done. i think my parents are the limiting reactant to my happiness right now. i'll tell them when i propose, yes? shit, will i have to ask her mom for her daughter's hand in marriage? hmm. that will be the day i die. death by angry mother. i don't even think angry does it justice. death by ashamed mother. there, that is nearly strong enough. hmm. she'll put a dagger through my heart. no, no, she's not that classy. she'll probably run me over with a vacuum or hit me with a frying pan. death by vacuum. i like that. it's neutral, and is less like
death-by-woman-that-gave-me-the-love-of-my-life.
she gave me her, and now she gives me death. almost like a syllogism. almost like... death by the love of my life.
meh. i'll just start the song over again and think of her flowing brown hair until the day comes i must commit, the day comes i must die.
i want her more than anything in the world. and to say that is perfectly true, but a lie. i want my education and i want my career and i want my few years to fuck around (for once i don't mean it as a verb, but more in the british sense of the word). but i want her to be there when it's all said and done. i think my parents are the limiting reactant to my happiness right now. i'll tell them when i propose, yes? shit, will i have to ask her mom for her daughter's hand in marriage? hmm. that will be the day i die. death by angry mother. i don't even think angry does it justice. death by ashamed mother. there, that is nearly strong enough. hmm. she'll put a dagger through my heart. no, no, she's not that classy. she'll probably run me over with a vacuum or hit me with a frying pan. death by vacuum. i like that. it's neutral, and is less like
death-by-woman-that-gave-me-the-love-of-my-life.
she gave me her, and now she gives me death. almost like a syllogism. almost like... death by the love of my life.
meh. i'll just start the song over again and think of her flowing brown hair until the day comes i must commit, the day comes i must die.