[fic] Clone
title: clone
author: itachibana13
length: 424 words
pairing(s): leeteuk-centric
rating: g
genre: angst
note: written like. ages ago, when i sucked. not that i've really improved, but.
summary: who is leeteuk, who is jungsu? who's fading away, who's victorious?
He’s sinking, sinking, sinking… down into the abyss that is stardom. He doesn’t want to lose himself. Leeteuk is drowning. Falling further and further, to a point where no one can save him. Lost between the pages of a book, the line is disappearing.
Slowly, slowly, slowly… He can’t distinguish who is Leeteuk and who is Jungsu, anymore. Was it Jungsu that liked soccer? Or was Leeteuk the one that was always depressed, hiding in corners?
He’s so close to asking someone. As soon as he approaches Heechul, the voices start screaming. Don’t do it, it’s weird, why?, he’ll think you’re weird, he won’t understand.
And he doesn’t even know who’s saying it. Jungsu or Leeteuk, Jungsu or Leeteuk, Jungsu or…
The thread of differences is almost gone. It’s there, hanging by a strand, but who knows how long it will last.
The only place to confide in. The dark, the empty, the silent corners. Where no one will listen except for Jungsu and Leeteuk. He can’t tell who’s listening and when, but at least they both listen at one point. There, he can just sit, sit there for hours, and piece out who is who. Jungsu said that, and Leeteuk meant that.
The moment he stands up, it all vanishes. When Kyuhyun comes in through the door, saying they have schedule, it dies. Jungsu and Leeteuk have become a sticky mess of confusion, and he barely knows his name. He almost refers to himself as ‘the-leader-of-Super-Junior’, because he can’t distinguish them, but usually. Usually, Leeteuk comes out.
Because it’s come out, because he has to change his mindset once he gets on stage, because he has to display himself as the perfect person, because he has to set an example. Because he’s not Jungsu to the world, he’s Leeteuk, leader of Super Junior, standing tall and proud. Millions strive to become like him, he knows it. However, whenever the new trainees show up, he can’t help but try to swallow the bile building up in the back his throat, feeling sorry for them. Feeling sorry for what they’ll have to go through - what he had to go through.
A celebrity cannot frown, cannot cry, cannot show weakness.
“A sunflower will always gaze towards the sun with neither hate nor regret, even through strong winds and heavy rain, it will continue to look up with a smile, patiently bearing the pain, while waiting for the sun to shine once again; but the sunflower has never felt, nor will it ever feel, any regret.”
feedback?
author: itachibana13
length: 424 words
pairing(s): leeteuk-centric
rating: g
genre: angst
note: written like. ages ago, when i sucked. not that i've really improved, but.
summary: who is leeteuk, who is jungsu? who's fading away, who's victorious?
He’s sinking, sinking, sinking… down into the abyss that is stardom. He doesn’t want to lose himself. Leeteuk is drowning. Falling further and further, to a point where no one can save him. Lost between the pages of a book, the line is disappearing.
Slowly, slowly, slowly… He can’t distinguish who is Leeteuk and who is Jungsu, anymore. Was it Jungsu that liked soccer? Or was Leeteuk the one that was always depressed, hiding in corners?
He’s so close to asking someone. As soon as he approaches Heechul, the voices start screaming. Don’t do it, it’s weird, why?, he’ll think you’re weird, he won’t understand.
And he doesn’t even know who’s saying it. Jungsu or Leeteuk, Jungsu or Leeteuk, Jungsu or…
The thread of differences is almost gone. It’s there, hanging by a strand, but who knows how long it will last.
The only place to confide in. The dark, the empty, the silent corners. Where no one will listen except for Jungsu and Leeteuk. He can’t tell who’s listening and when, but at least they both listen at one point. There, he can just sit, sit there for hours, and piece out who is who. Jungsu said that, and Leeteuk meant that.
The moment he stands up, it all vanishes. When Kyuhyun comes in through the door, saying they have schedule, it dies. Jungsu and Leeteuk have become a sticky mess of confusion, and he barely knows his name. He almost refers to himself as ‘the-leader-of-Super-Junior’, because he can’t distinguish them, but usually. Usually, Leeteuk comes out.
Because it’s come out, because he has to change his mindset once he gets on stage, because he has to display himself as the perfect person, because he has to set an example. Because he’s not Jungsu to the world, he’s Leeteuk, leader of Super Junior, standing tall and proud. Millions strive to become like him, he knows it. However, whenever the new trainees show up, he can’t help but try to swallow the bile building up in the back his throat, feeling sorry for them. Feeling sorry for what they’ll have to go through - what he had to go through.
A celebrity cannot frown, cannot cry, cannot show weakness.
“A sunflower will always gaze towards the sun with neither hate nor regret, even through strong winds and heavy rain, it will continue to look up with a smile, patiently bearing the pain, while waiting for the sun to shine once again; but the sunflower has never felt, nor will it ever feel, any regret.”
feedback?