what day is it today?
When to the doctor's office yesterday (or the day before?). It was mainly just a follow-up on something so it was very short (and therefore sweet). I went to the Central Library afterwards and got six books on decorative painting, mostly because they actually show how to make certain brushstrokes with certain brushes - something regular painting books do not do. Anyway, going to the library was a big deal for me because i really have not stepped outside for almost a week. It was really refreshing: the smell of the air, the cool breeze on my face and neck. Those were the only positive things i noticed though.
I have been spending an exuberant amount of time sleeping. I really do not feel like doing anything else. Do not feel like eating or playing videogames. Spend a bit of time on the internet and then just go right back to sleep. I have been getting books on decorative painting and thumbing through them, but i still do not have any motivation or ideas for painting the terra cotta pots or canvas bags that i am supposed to be doing for christmas.
I have been enjoying sleeping so much because i have been dreaming a lot, and really, i prefer to dream then to live in this world. I cannot explain why, but it is just so much easier. It would be great if i could just stay there, everything is just... so much better. I guess because it is not real because there is to much pain and shit in reality. Haven not recorded any of my dreams in my dreamjournal though, despite the fact that there are so many and they are so vivid. As soon as one ends i just close my eyes and let myself go to the next one. It is easier than facing reality, even if it is an unrealistic way to live.
The Traumatic Stress program begins this friday. I really glad because i have been waiting for it for a long time, but i find it kind of frustrating that i have to take two buses half way across town for something that is only going to last an hour. Whatever, i should not complain. It is only because mental health services are greatly lacking in funding. At least, that is my justification for why the program is only an hour once a week.
As of next week i will be house sitting for someone i know and i will not have internet access unless i go to the library or go home, which is unlikely. Save yourselves a few minutes of you life by not checking here until at least the 15th of November.
So like, take care, see ya.
I have been spending an exuberant amount of time sleeping. I really do not feel like doing anything else. Do not feel like eating or playing videogames. Spend a bit of time on the internet and then just go right back to sleep. I have been getting books on decorative painting and thumbing through them, but i still do not have any motivation or ideas for painting the terra cotta pots or canvas bags that i am supposed to be doing for christmas.
I have been enjoying sleeping so much because i have been dreaming a lot, and really, i prefer to dream then to live in this world. I cannot explain why, but it is just so much easier. It would be great if i could just stay there, everything is just... so much better. I guess because it is not real because there is to much pain and shit in reality. Haven not recorded any of my dreams in my dreamjournal though, despite the fact that there are so many and they are so vivid. As soon as one ends i just close my eyes and let myself go to the next one. It is easier than facing reality, even if it is an unrealistic way to live.
The Traumatic Stress program begins this friday. I really glad because i have been waiting for it for a long time, but i find it kind of frustrating that i have to take two buses half way across town for something that is only going to last an hour. Whatever, i should not complain. It is only because mental health services are greatly lacking in funding. At least, that is my justification for why the program is only an hour once a week.
As of next week i will be house sitting for someone i know and i will not have internet access unless i go to the library or go home, which is unlikely. Save yourselves a few minutes of you life by not checking here until at least the 15th of November.
So like, take care, see ya.