blah/messy/overthetop
I am just further bothered.
I have an overwhelming urge to throw myself into my work, and just tell Evan that I’ll see him on the weekend. It’s not that we need some time apart. I think it’s just that I have a lot looming, and for some reason, I want him to miss me.
I can’t really explain it. I was mad at myself last night because I had a migraine, and fell asleep around 9:30. I am not sure if the migraine showed up because of boredom or if it was just because I had been hella dehydrated. I just don’t know. I was getting bored, and there is only so much you can make out of an evening that consists of tv and frozen lasagna. I kept on apologizing this morning… I remember waking up because he was kissing my stomach, and then moved north… I couldn’t do anything, but it just felt so good. My head still pounded, and I gracefully fell back asleep. It just felt so good, I guess to be touched, and wanted…
I don’t know why I feel so not wanted. I don’t know what that has to do with. I don’t like the idea though. I think that’s why I want to burry myself in my work. I don’t see any problems with it. It just scares me. It’ll be good if I get things done, it’ll be not so good, if I just… work hard to get away a little bit. No phone calls, no ims, no nothing. I just need some time. Not that many classes this week, but I have three papers and a presentation next week, and then the march, and then…
It’s all ending, and I am freaking out inside my head.
I can’t wait to make it all change, but he is scared because he doesn’t know what’s happening, I am scared because I don’t know what’s happening, and we refuse to talk anymore.
I am so mellow dramatic, everything will be better in just a day. Seriously, I just need to calm the fuck down…
I have an overwhelming urge to throw myself into my work, and just tell Evan that I’ll see him on the weekend. It’s not that we need some time apart. I think it’s just that I have a lot looming, and for some reason, I want him to miss me.
I can’t really explain it. I was mad at myself last night because I had a migraine, and fell asleep around 9:30. I am not sure if the migraine showed up because of boredom or if it was just because I had been hella dehydrated. I just don’t know. I was getting bored, and there is only so much you can make out of an evening that consists of tv and frozen lasagna. I kept on apologizing this morning… I remember waking up because he was kissing my stomach, and then moved north… I couldn’t do anything, but it just felt so good. My head still pounded, and I gracefully fell back asleep. It just felt so good, I guess to be touched, and wanted…
I don’t know why I feel so not wanted. I don’t know what that has to do with. I don’t like the idea though. I think that’s why I want to burry myself in my work. I don’t see any problems with it. It just scares me. It’ll be good if I get things done, it’ll be not so good, if I just… work hard to get away a little bit. No phone calls, no ims, no nothing. I just need some time. Not that many classes this week, but I have three papers and a presentation next week, and then the march, and then…
It’s all ending, and I am freaking out inside my head.
I can’t wait to make it all change, but he is scared because he doesn’t know what’s happening, I am scared because I don’t know what’s happening, and we refuse to talk anymore.
I am so mellow dramatic, everything will be better in just a day. Seriously, I just need to calm the fuck down…