Catching Up
The past 3 years have been a nightmare; how much of it was my fault and how much that of others, I cant say. Its not good to try and assign blame to anyone in such delicate, constantly changing situations such as our family has been facing. In a fog of depression and chronic pain, I tried to forget myself to the point that I might not exist,
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I am glad you're better now, even if you can't escape the circumstances. Spiritual connections are sometimes the only things that keep us going.
I am fearful about having to face something similar as I find myself having to move back in with my mom & her boyfriend. I am not a nurse and I have no training in care taking. I don't want to be in that role! I need to sit down and talk about this with my mom so we can set up a possible action plan. Her good friend who she had given over her medical power of attorney to, just in case, has passed away so that's not going to be in effect now. These are not easy topics but I should get her opinion and find out what she wants to have happen, should the need arise. I can feel it in my bones that my time with her is very limited. Whether she ends up with some chronic illness, or a sudden onset of something worse (her older brother passed from complications due to a rare genetic form of leukemia a few years ago), I know she will not be with me for long. It could be like her mom, where she ends up not recognizing me and not knowing what day it is. Mortality and aging are tough.
I hope you continue to seek self-care as needed. Also realize that eventually that situation you are in *will( change. It's one of the only things that kept me going at my deepest pits of despair over the past 6 years while losing my lifestyle, home, and father.
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