Are you f***ing kidding me?
Today I drug myself out of bed after a horrible non-ambien nights sleep and headed to the brand spanking new public library up the skreet from my hut. I had woke up in a funk, and decided a good way to shake it was to step away from my studying and compu-tutorials for the morning, and take in some idle magazine reading. It was a -can't fail- plan to swing me around to a better mood.
Things got off to a rocky start when I tried to start my car, and it did that -thing- where starting the car seems to drain every bit of electrical juice out of the car. It struggled to turn over, but finally kicked in. Not good. Prolly means I need a new battery, which means an unexpected expense, which further heightened my stress level. "Just chillout man, you'll work it out. At least it's running so you know it probably isn't the alternator".
Made the quick drive to the library to find the lot completely full, whih is very unusual. Dipped inside and headed right for the "Quiet Reading" room, which is where all the magazines are. I was on my way to the National Geographic when I saw it. There on the cover of the October 2008 issue of Cosmopolitan Magazine was the following cover blurb:
"How to be Just Bitchy Enough"
Yeah.
Seriously.
Seriously?
Are you fucking KIDDING ME?
At first I did a doubletake. I thought someone had pulled a gag and replaced the real issue with a full size print out of one of those fake magazine covers that go around the internet. Hell I have even made some of those myself...longtime readers may remember such classics as "Absolutely Caned Magazine" of "Pillowtalk: The magazine for people who really LOVE (physically) stuffed animals". But this was the real deal...a real actual cover blurb so outrageous I couldn't help but laugh, even though I thought it was far from funny.
Cosmo,...fuck you. Fuck you for your whole platform of existing to instruct women in manipulation and control. Could you imagine the outrage if a comparable mens mag...I don't even know what would be comparable...but lets just say for example Esquire or GQ or something like that, having a cover blurb that says "How to be Just Enough of Dick to Keep Her Ass In Line"? The ladies crew would go apeshit. There would be a zillion letters the following month about how chauvanistic and morally ill it was to publish crap like that.
I stood there in amazement, too afraid to even take the thing off the shelf and see what the article actually says.
Heres an idea though Cosmo. How about an article on "How Not To Be A Bitch At All"? How about instructing people on the delicate art of tactful but satisfying comprimise on both parties behalfs...a feat I believe does exist. How about pushing a platform of working towards results through ultrapositivity and open communication? How about an article on "How To Not Humiliate Your Dood and Preserve the Harmony and Longevity of Your Relationship by Not Acting Shitty to Him, ESPECIALLY in Mixed Company"?
I dunno maybe I am way off base. We all know I am a loser who hasn't had a girlfriend in a zillion years, so what do I know? I'll tell you what I know! I know about basic human decency, and instructing people on how to use "bitchiness" as a psychological control tool is just plain wrong. If you had a child, would you teach her "how to be a bitch to get what she wants"? I'd hope you would discourage it. I don't see why the rules should be any different for adults. They should be fucking ashamed of themselves.
Things got off to a rocky start when I tried to start my car, and it did that -thing- where starting the car seems to drain every bit of electrical juice out of the car. It struggled to turn over, but finally kicked in. Not good. Prolly means I need a new battery, which means an unexpected expense, which further heightened my stress level. "Just chillout man, you'll work it out. At least it's running so you know it probably isn't the alternator".
Made the quick drive to the library to find the lot completely full, whih is very unusual. Dipped inside and headed right for the "Quiet Reading" room, which is where all the magazines are. I was on my way to the National Geographic when I saw it. There on the cover of the October 2008 issue of Cosmopolitan Magazine was the following cover blurb:
"How to be Just Bitchy Enough"
Yeah.
Seriously.
Seriously?
Are you fucking KIDDING ME?
At first I did a doubletake. I thought someone had pulled a gag and replaced the real issue with a full size print out of one of those fake magazine covers that go around the internet. Hell I have even made some of those myself...longtime readers may remember such classics as "Absolutely Caned Magazine" of "Pillowtalk: The magazine for people who really LOVE (physically) stuffed animals". But this was the real deal...a real actual cover blurb so outrageous I couldn't help but laugh, even though I thought it was far from funny.
Cosmo,...fuck you. Fuck you for your whole platform of existing to instruct women in manipulation and control. Could you imagine the outrage if a comparable mens mag...I don't even know what would be comparable...but lets just say for example Esquire or GQ or something like that, having a cover blurb that says "How to be Just Enough of Dick to Keep Her Ass In Line"? The ladies crew would go apeshit. There would be a zillion letters the following month about how chauvanistic and morally ill it was to publish crap like that.
I stood there in amazement, too afraid to even take the thing off the shelf and see what the article actually says.
Heres an idea though Cosmo. How about an article on "How Not To Be A Bitch At All"? How about instructing people on the delicate art of tactful but satisfying comprimise on both parties behalfs...a feat I believe does exist. How about pushing a platform of working towards results through ultrapositivity and open communication? How about an article on "How To Not Humiliate Your Dood and Preserve the Harmony and Longevity of Your Relationship by Not Acting Shitty to Him, ESPECIALLY in Mixed Company"?
I dunno maybe I am way off base. We all know I am a loser who hasn't had a girlfriend in a zillion years, so what do I know? I'll tell you what I know! I know about basic human decency, and instructing people on how to use "bitchiness" as a psychological control tool is just plain wrong. If you had a child, would you teach her "how to be a bitch to get what she wants"? I'd hope you would discourage it. I don't see why the rules should be any different for adults. They should be fucking ashamed of themselves.