Driving With Wallets
No, this isn't a rant about how I'd like to spend several hundred thousand dollars (daily!) on a car. Instead, I'm going to discuss the humble wallet.
Over the last few years, my back has chronically placed me in excruciating agony.
I blamed my love for driving and trick-shifting: surely wrenching the gear-stick from one gear to another (not always with the aid of a clutch!) dealt unappreciated shock-like blows to my back. However, given my love of driving, I grinned and took my painkillers, and returned to attack the hairpins and S-turns.
A quick segue: Modern life dictates that we carry a number of plastic cards around with us. These cards, having a finite depth, stack to create a non-insignificantly thick wallet, when arranged carelessly. The wallet is then carried around a back pocket.
In my case, I had a wallet that was about an inch and a half thick. As I spend most of my day sitting in one form or another, this caused one half of my pelvis to be raised somewhat higher than the other, resulting in a slightly out-of-whack spine.
I continued to blame driving, and grinned every time I felt the series of (p-q) torus knots (p, q are coprime and large - very large) that had become my back. I could play musical tunes with my rotator cuffs, and would frequently retire for days to spend some quality time with painkillers and hot water bottles.
Recently, I discovered the ALL-ETT Billfold: the thinnest wallet ever! My inch-and-a-half wallet collapsed under to under an eighth of an inch. I bought it on a whim: it just appeared cool.
Within a day, my upper back pain disappeared. Believe me, it was a miracle.
With the disappearing back pain came the realization that it wasn't the driving. It was the fact that for about twenty years, I have been lugging a thick wallet around with me, forcing my pelvis to sit in a far-from-straight position, causing my entire back to go into the convoluted configuration it had been in.
Damn. It's so obvious, in retrospect.
Now, I limp from place to place as my lower back readjusts after decades of misalignment. Each step sends shooting pain up muscles that are only now, after decades, stretching. However, the pain diminishes daily, and I know something deep down is healing itself. So, if you see me limping but grinning, realize that I'm not going crazy; I'm just glad that this chronic condition that I had long ago given up on is finally on the mend. Obvious solution or not, the reduction in pain is still miraculous to me.
Soon, I'll be back to 100%. When that happens, I'll try running 10k again. It should be so much easier. Booyah!
Meanwhile, lesson learned. Be warned! A thick wallet is among the most insidious evils of the great suburban outback. Be careful, lest it disable you slowly from the inside, attacking the very muscles that hold you upright in the most pernicious manner conceivable. Beware the wallet!
Over the last few years, my back has chronically placed me in excruciating agony.
I blamed my love for driving and trick-shifting: surely wrenching the gear-stick from one gear to another (not always with the aid of a clutch!) dealt unappreciated shock-like blows to my back. However, given my love of driving, I grinned and took my painkillers, and returned to attack the hairpins and S-turns.
A quick segue: Modern life dictates that we carry a number of plastic cards around with us. These cards, having a finite depth, stack to create a non-insignificantly thick wallet, when arranged carelessly. The wallet is then carried around a back pocket.
In my case, I had a wallet that was about an inch and a half thick. As I spend most of my day sitting in one form or another, this caused one half of my pelvis to be raised somewhat higher than the other, resulting in a slightly out-of-whack spine.
I continued to blame driving, and grinned every time I felt the series of (p-q) torus knots (p, q are coprime and large - very large) that had become my back. I could play musical tunes with my rotator cuffs, and would frequently retire for days to spend some quality time with painkillers and hot water bottles.
Recently, I discovered the ALL-ETT Billfold: the thinnest wallet ever! My inch-and-a-half wallet collapsed under to under an eighth of an inch. I bought it on a whim: it just appeared cool.
Within a day, my upper back pain disappeared. Believe me, it was a miracle.
With the disappearing back pain came the realization that it wasn't the driving. It was the fact that for about twenty years, I have been lugging a thick wallet around with me, forcing my pelvis to sit in a far-from-straight position, causing my entire back to go into the convoluted configuration it had been in.
Damn. It's so obvious, in retrospect.
Now, I limp from place to place as my lower back readjusts after decades of misalignment. Each step sends shooting pain up muscles that are only now, after decades, stretching. However, the pain diminishes daily, and I know something deep down is healing itself. So, if you see me limping but grinning, realize that I'm not going crazy; I'm just glad that this chronic condition that I had long ago given up on is finally on the mend. Obvious solution or not, the reduction in pain is still miraculous to me.
Soon, I'll be back to 100%. When that happens, I'll try running 10k again. It should be so much easier. Booyah!
Meanwhile, lesson learned. Be warned! A thick wallet is among the most insidious evils of the great suburban outback. Be careful, lest it disable you slowly from the inside, attacking the very muscles that hold you upright in the most pernicious manner conceivable. Beware the wallet!