I Don't Know What Color My Parachute Is
Today folks, I stumbled upon the reason that I have been having such extraordinary trouble with my job search.
I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. Further, I don't think I have ever known.
I know I like working in film/tv/theater, even though these are all vastly different pursuits. And I know I am happiest when I am in charge and in control.
When I was little, I wanted to be a teacher, to get summers off. When I got a little older and more mature, I realized I could never be one because I hate most children (to be fair, the reason I hate them is that they have shitty behavior because they had shitty parenting). In high school and college, I thought I wanted to be an actress. After a while of trying to be one I realized I didn't want to be one because I didn't love acting enough to make the necessary sacrifices to make acting a career. Also because, while I respect the methods of professional actors, I found it difficult to get all the way to a good performance without feeling a little silly and not believing in it. When I was picking a college, I wanted to major in theater, because I still wanted to be an actress then. I was told that theater wasn't "a real major" and that I should major in something practical.
How I wish I had fought that assertion and gone after what I wanted.
Instead, I majored in practical ol' English and wound up with a degree in it and the skills to be great at a job that gives me no buzz whatsoever. If I had been a theater major, I probably would have still given up on acting, but I probably also would have had the opportunity to become trained in other aspects of the theater that I could have made a career out of; learned about positions and talents that I don't know about now.
I think the lucky ones get to figure it out in college. Most of us do what we're told and follow something that is supposed to lead us to a job that makes us good money and a lot of the times it works and at least some people who take that route are happy because that's all they want out of a job. But I want to do something that I love to do. And I don't know what that is. And I think that's at leastl partly because I didn't learn about it then.
I sacked up and spent money I don't have on "What Color Is Your Parachute?" because it's the right resource for people like me and I hope it helps me. Because I think it's pretty sad to not know what you want to do with your life.
~The Rock Star hopes her parachute is a pretty color
I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. Further, I don't think I have ever known.
I know I like working in film/tv/theater, even though these are all vastly different pursuits. And I know I am happiest when I am in charge and in control.
When I was little, I wanted to be a teacher, to get summers off. When I got a little older and more mature, I realized I could never be one because I hate most children (to be fair, the reason I hate them is that they have shitty behavior because they had shitty parenting). In high school and college, I thought I wanted to be an actress. After a while of trying to be one I realized I didn't want to be one because I didn't love acting enough to make the necessary sacrifices to make acting a career. Also because, while I respect the methods of professional actors, I found it difficult to get all the way to a good performance without feeling a little silly and not believing in it. When I was picking a college, I wanted to major in theater, because I still wanted to be an actress then. I was told that theater wasn't "a real major" and that I should major in something practical.
How I wish I had fought that assertion and gone after what I wanted.
Instead, I majored in practical ol' English and wound up with a degree in it and the skills to be great at a job that gives me no buzz whatsoever. If I had been a theater major, I probably would have still given up on acting, but I probably also would have had the opportunity to become trained in other aspects of the theater that I could have made a career out of; learned about positions and talents that I don't know about now.
I think the lucky ones get to figure it out in college. Most of us do what we're told and follow something that is supposed to lead us to a job that makes us good money and a lot of the times it works and at least some people who take that route are happy because that's all they want out of a job. But I want to do something that I love to do. And I don't know what that is. And I think that's at leastl partly because I didn't learn about it then.
I sacked up and spent money I don't have on "What Color Is Your Parachute?" because it's the right resource for people like me and I hope it helps me. Because I think it's pretty sad to not know what you want to do with your life.
~The Rock Star hopes her parachute is a pretty color