so tired

[sel07]

I'm way stressed out right now! i can't even begin to think of the things that used to make me happy. I have become mute. I can't talk to the people i used to love talking to, i broke my own heart, i can't smile for real and know that it's a genuin "selena" kind of smile; i'm drowning in this never ending sea of stress. I am falling behind with my sleep, mostly because i can't get to sleep at night. I've just transformed into this selfless person, the life has been sucked out of me. I miss the good old days when i knew who i could trust, who i wanted to be, who i wanted to be with, and what i wanted to do. It's all disappeared in my life. I swear i have nothing to look forward to anymore.. just the realization that i lost everything that made me who i was. I don't know what made me who i am today. I want to sleep... Sleep forever and never wake up. Then wake up and be someone completely different.. someone who knew what they wanted and would thrive to go out and get it, no questions asked. I've lost feeling in all areas, I am numb.

That's pretty much what i have to say about life right now.

BUT! I am excited for this weekend and summer.. shopping with haley and lauren this saturday.. and summer to just hang out with Lo!