Baby, baby, baby, i'm gonna leave you, I said baby, you know i'm gonna leave you.....

[sekzigoddess87]

Well, today I went to church and I had an epiphany of sorts. I realized that I should have never even had a decision to make in all this. I should have just been satisfied with what I had. I made that decision already, but I just couldn't let go of the past. Now i've decided and I chose Chris. Some of you may be surprised, seeing as most can tell how much I love Justin. Even if I did be with Justin again, it would never be the same as it was before and he would never be around. As much as i'd love to think that it will all work itself out in the end, it never does. I need to wake up and stop living in this fanatsy world. The fact was, I was in a perfectly good relationship and there's no sense in me giving it up just because my ex comes home. I just have to let go, I guess. No matter how hard that may be. I've told him a million times before that he deserves someone better than me but he couldn't see that. Maybe now he finally will. I'd love to think that we could still be friends but that's up to him. I know I screwed him over and he has every right to never speak to me again. However, if he wants to still be friends, i'm not going to argue. It probablly doesn't matter to him though. It's easy to cut someone off when you live 6000 miles away. So that's it then. Chris came over tonight and we had a bbq with my parents. Portherhouse steak in my mom's special marinade, corn on the cob and watermelon. Then Chris and I watched A Streetcar Named Desire, (which I rented today since I got a free movie rental at blockbuster,) and Better Off Dead to lighten the mood a little after the depressing movie. Then we played some Donkey Konga, went on my computer for a while and he left. Waking up early tommorow and going over his house before work. Currently downloading tons of music. Nite all!

::Monday::

Hanging out with Christopher 9:30-2:30.

Working 4-10:30.

::Tuesday::

Classes 8 AM - 2 PM.

Working 3-8.

::Wednesday::

Classes 8 AM - 2 PM.

Working 5-10:30.

::Thursday::

Classes 8 AM - 2 PM.

Working 3-8.

::Friday::

Spending the day with Christopher.

::Saturday::

Working 12-6.

Kyle & Brielle's graduation party.

::Sunday::

Church.