Out of the Closet (and into Your Arms)
Title: Out of the Closet (and into Your Arms)
Rating: NC-17
Obligatory Disclaimer: Warning for smut! Characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto. Writing belongs to me.
Summary: Iruka's outlook is altered after a life changing sexual experience. Naturally.
Notes: Written for this prompt at the Kink Meme. This is my first attempt at smut ever, so I was going nuts trying to get it just right. (read: not too cringe worthy or OOC, which I hope I succeeded at, just a little.) Many thank you hugs and kisses to my ever-patient beta, Beasiesgal! Feedback is love!
It occurred to Iruka abruptly, one autumn night, as he walked home from an impromptu meal at Ichiraku's. The fifth brush of Kakashi's fingers against Iruka's own was too many times to be considered coincidental; for a ninja, in any case. It meant Kakashi was trying to tell him something, in that underneath way of his. All at once, the chuunin felt a wave of apprehension wash over him. It took him by surprise and unsettled him for reasons hidden too deep to name.
He stopped in his tracks, looking more than a little bit alarmed, and turned towards the jounin. “Please don't do that,” he whispered almost inaudibly, unable to meet Kakashi's eyes, being too caught up in making certain that no one had seen.
Fighting down a blush, Iruka told himself that it suddenly felt cold because of the stiff breeze. That it had nothing to do in the change of atmosphere he'd brought upon himself; that he didn't miss the contact, short as it had been. He shivered in spite of himself, once again heading in the direction of his apartment. Kakashi had simply inclined his head before following, staying utterly silent in that infuriating way of his. He'd kept his hands well away from Iruka's for the rest of the short journey, the simple lack of action almost a statement in itself. The usually short walk seemed to take ages, the chuunin thought, trying and failing to calm his frayed nerves.
As soon as they'd arrived, Kakashi turned to leave, only to be stopped by a hand at his shoulder. Iruka swallowed nervously; his hand had moved of it's own accord before the chuunin even known what he was doing. Although his face was turning redder and redder, he couldn't force himself to break the contact.
“Yes, Iruka-sensei?” The jounin's visible brow raised just slightly, inquiring, and Iruka found that he couldn't even begin to fight down the color that had so quickly overtaken his cheeks. His entire face felt warm, but the real heat came from where his hand met Kakashi's shoulder. And that man's voice. It did funny things to the chuunin's insides, making him stumble on his words.
“I-I...”
And Kakashi just stood there. Didn't even look expectant, or guarded, or...anything. Pure shinobi, Iruka's mind supplied, and he wanted to kick himself for even opening his mouth in the first place. Ruining what they had. Whatever that had been. Already, he missed their easy banter and the unguarded side that Kakashi had slowly begun to show him more and more of. Iruka's hand seemed intent on staying put, as if trying to soak up the warmth of Kakashi's cloth covered skin.
“Don't... don't you care what people think?” the chuunin finally forced himself to look at the other man, meeting the blank gaze straight on. “I mean, that I--”
“That you're a chuunin? Should I be ashamed to be seen with a chuunin?” Kakashi's eyes narrowed a fraction and he stepped forward, out of the entryway, letting the door swing shut behind him with a click that only added to the tension. Iruka fought the urge to turn away, instead finally convincing his hand to tear itself away from Kakashi's person. His fingers curled in memory of the warmth even as his arm hung at his side, almost listlessly.
“No. That's stupid,” Iruka glared, taking a deep breath before he continued. “Don't you care that I'm a man.” He cringed to hear the words tumble from his lips, feeling so much more uncomfortable now that it was all out in the open. That it seemed so real. Hating Kakashi a little bit for making him say them. Hating the way they sounded, and the meanings they held. His heart fluttered in his chest for a beat, then another, and Iruka realized he was holding his breath when Kakashi's expression very slowly changed to one of mock surprise.
“Are you, Sensei? I hadn't noticed. My spotless reputation must be ruined by now.”
Something about Kakashi's demeanor made Iruka want to grit his teeth in annoyance. Like it was a joke; but the jounin's voice had been cold and hard at the same time. “Kakashi-san, please be serious.” It was getting harder to breath normally, somehow. Whatever reaction the chuunin had expected, this wasn't it.
All of a sudden, Kakashi was nose to nose with him, serious gaze boring into Iruka's surprised eyes. So close that Iruka could feel the man's body heat, could see each individual strand of fine, silver hair, and could smell the unique mix of weapons oil and miso and pine. Almost every fibre of his being now shouted at him to touch, to take. Instead, the chuunin obeyed the rational shinobi deeply ingrained within him, though his fingers twitched slightly at his sides as he fought the urge to step back and put space between himself and Kakashi.
“Don't. You. Dare.” If the jounin had been maskless, Iruka thought, those hidden lips would surely be pulled downwards in a hard frown to match the chilly gaze. “Don't you even dare, Iruka.” Honorifics dropped completely. A bad sign.
“I... I...” Lost for words, Iruka let his own mouth settle into an unsure frown, brows knit together in frustration. He took a breath, before starting over. “Kakashi, I don't understand how you can be so... so openly--”
“Queer?”
The chuunin actually flinched. “I didn't say that,” Iruka said quietly, although it was pointless.
Finally, finally, the other man rocked back on his heels a bit, regarding him with mixed levels of coldness and ardency. “I apologize for the unwanted attention, then, Iruka-sensei. Please forgive my forwardness.”
“But, I like you,” it slipped out so suddenly that Iruka's hand actually shot up to his mouth, too late to catch the tumble of words that now hung in the air. At this, Kakashi looked slightly amused. And, off-put. “I mean, I think I like you... I... I'm not sure. I just--”
Once again, Kakashi was in his personal space, all but pressed against him, and it felt so right that Iruka ached. Some parts more urgently than others, he tried not to think about.
“I don't think I can be that brave,” he finished lamely, looking to the side. Loathing himself for it. Hating the tangle of emotions he couldn't control, and the cold, assessing part of himself that could be so condemning of it all. Not because of what he truly felt, so much as the anticipation of what others would think.
A small sigh escaped Kakashi's lips, and Iruka could actually feel the warmth against his cheek. He idly pushed down the thoughts of those hidden lips on his own, hot and claiming.
“So conflicted, Sensei,” the jounin drawled lazily, but his visible eye was sharp and alert, pupil dilated. “You're either attracted to me... or you aren't. And I'm pretty sure you are, so that means you must have hangups that need addressing before we get to have any fun...”
“I--” Iruka started, and then gaped openly, because Kakashi had slid his mask down to bare his features, letting the fabric gather at his chin, still hiding some of his jawline. He was even paler under the mask, Iruka noticed, focusing on the other man's features rather than that small, unbalancing action, and what it meant.
“If you need convincing, Sensei, I'm sure I can find a way to... assist you with that.”
“But... but we're both men,” Iruka breathed, though his gaze was transfixed on Kakashi's mouth-- on those unbelievably pale lips. Slightly chapped from the chafing of the mask, the chuunin thought, idly wondering what they might taste like. He mentally shook himself, blushing hotly at the direction of his own thoughts.
“Mmm, yes, we've already covered that particular revelation. Are you so bothered by it?”
“Not... in principle, I suppose. But others--”
“Can learn to deal with it.” The grey and red eyes narrowed dangerously for a fraction, then softened.
Iruka vaguely wondered where the man's hitai-ate had disappeared to, before being drawn in by the quirk of Kakashi's lips.
“If they know what's best for them,” the jounin added, and placed a hand against Iruka's hip, chuckling when the chuunin startled.
“But... in public...”
“Maa, I bet you'd say that if I were a woman too. You're such a prude, sensei.”
Kakashi took advantage of Iruka's stricken silence to raise his other hand and divest the man of his hair tie, smiling at the chuunin's indignant spluttering. Iruka couldn't even find the words to begin. “You look so incredibly sexy like this, Iruka-sensei,” Kakashi murmured, never breaking eye contact. “You really, really do.”
Iruka gulped, blinking once.“But I--”
“Am a man. I know.” Kakashi tilted his head, giving a sigh. “It's not as if we're in public anymore... isn't that your biggest hangup? Why don't we build up your bravery a bit here...” To punctuate his statement, the jounin rolled his hips slightly, brushing against Iruka for the barest of seconds, smirking when the chuunin's face grew brighter and his pupils dilated even further. “Won't you at least let me try to change your mind?” he whispered, voice suddenly tender, though the lust was still very clearly in his eyes.
Iruka tried not to think about how intensely hot that look was making him. “I...” he tried to shake himself mentally, feeling dazed and feverish, though his body craved more contact. “I... okay,” he murmured, hardly aware of his own words. He watched Kakashi's hands, following them with his eyes as they gently slid up his sides and to his vest zipper, before stripping him of the garment. His shirt was next to go, dropped beside his feet, atop his vest.
“Is this okay?” Kakashi's voice had hardly rose above an exhalation. He just stood there, coaxing Iruka with his eyes alone, and the chuunin had to admire Kakashi's patience. It settled Iruka's nerves some, and he finally felt comfortable enough to give a small nod.
When Kakashi leaned forward to lick at a nipple, Iruka couldn't help but tense slightly, again. When the other man latched onto it gently and sucked, the chuunin found he was unable to stop the quiet moan that escaped his lips as electric shivers ran through him. Kakashi moved onto the other nub, running his hands up and down Iruka's sides.
“Still okay?”
“Yes,” Iruka was surprised at how breathless his own voice sounded, forcing himself to relax as Kakashi's nose nuzzled at his collar bone.
Kakashi stepped forward to press a thigh between the chuunin's legs. He latched onto the skin where neck met shoulder, sucking, but moved away after tearing another pleasured moan from the tanned sensei, who was rapidly coming undone. “Mmm, responsive...”
Iruka swallowed hard, eyes wide. “W-why did you stop?” A furious blush followed his hastily murmured words. Embarrassment or not, the chuunin couldn't deny that he craved more contact. He could hardly believe how easily Kakashi had turned him into such a quivering mess. Come back, his body ached, feeling too cold without Kakashi pressed against him.
“Would it make such a difference if one of us were female?”
Still feeling fevered everywhere Kakashi had touched him, Iruka could only blink in response. Before he could collect his thoughts to form an answer, he felt his head shake of its own accord. No. “You,” he breathed. “I like you.” He promptly turned redder, turning his face to hide his discomfort. Even here, in the middle of his own living room, he couldn't help but feel self conscious.
Kakashi stepped forward again, wearing a smirk, although not an unkind one. “And I like you.”
Iruka looked up, startled, and not just a little bit pleased; the words proved to calm him some.
“The package you're wrapped in is just a bonus... And, I think I should get back to unwrapping you...” With that, Kakashi pressed against the chuunin once more, fingers deftly playing at the man's waistband. Waiting for permission, Iruka realized, nodding his head just once in answer. He felt like he might stop breathing if the jounin didn't continue. As it was, Iruka's breaths were coming in short, halting gasps.
“Should I take you on the floor, sensei?” Kakashi purred in that sinful, seductive way, and Iruka could only gulp, trying his best not to nod, even as his body ached in want. “No, I think the bed is more fitting for your first time, wouldn't you say, Iruka-sensei? If this is still alright for you...”
Iruka shot him a look that threatened a painful outcome if the jounin didn't stop wasting time with the teasing and just get on with it already.
Mercifully, Kakashi started backing him towards the bedroom slowly, distracting him with a toe curling kiss and pulling off articles of clothing on the way. Iruka found himself responding, growing more and more bold as Kakashi's tongue invaded his mouth and coaxed his own to join in. He tangled one hand in Kakashi's hair, which was much softer than he would have guessed, and let his other arm curl around the jounin's neck.
“Should I start slow and draw it out,” Kakashi murmured against Iruka's lips, grinning rakishly. Iruka felt the bed at the back of his knees and pulled Kakashi over him, need swelling more and more within him. “Slow and sensual, until you're writhing for more... Begging me to fuck you into your own mattress, over and over again... Oh, sensei, do you want that?”
“Oh, Kami,” Iruka groaned, moaning deep in his throat. Kakashi was barely touching him at all; the man just hovered over him. Iruka shuddered when the jounin's teeth lightly scraped against his throat. Those sinful words whispered in his ear made the chuunin's body go hot and quiver with need for something he couldn't even place. It didn't help when Kakashi brought his hand up to brush against the bulge in Iruka's boxers, or when the jounin licked at his ear to punctuate each sensual statement. “Oh, oh...” Iruka sucked in a breath, ignoring the way his heart hammered against his chest and how anticipation curled in his stomach.
Kakashi whispered on, unhindered. “Shh... there are so many things we could do, Sensei... So many things you've been missing out on. But this time...” And he chuckled, rich and dark, a sound that slowly melted Iruka's patience. “This time, I'll make love to you. If that's okay with you, Iruka... ”
“K-kakashi-san,” he whimpered, finally gathering the courage to buck into the other man, rubbing himself against the jounin shamelessly. His face and neck flushed with desire, eyes going dark with lust.
“Oh,” Kakashi breathed, biting his lip before pulling down the chuunin's boxers to quickly free the entrapped cock. “Kami, you look...” he trailed off, taking in the sight of Iruka, spread out and quivering ever so slightly. Instead of continuing, the jounin dipped his head forward to lick at the precome that was sluggishly oozing from the tip of Iruka's cock.
Iruka gave a muffled yelp at the sudden action, face flushing even deeper in embarrassment. He fisted the sheets, drawing in several gasping breaths, and focused all of his attention on not losing it right then and there. “Kakashi-san, please.” It wasn't fair that the other man wasn't completely naked yet, or that he wasn't also a trembling mess.
“Shh... Just Kakashi. I'm so sorry I wound you up so tight,” the jounin murmured.
He didn't look very sorry, Iruka thought, squeezing his eyes shut. There was a rustle of cloth, and the chuunin opened his eyes to find that Kakashi was finally, finally naked.
“No more teasing, I promise,” the jounin grinned, leaning down once again. “For now,” he amended, and kissed Iruka's hip bone at the same time as he slipped a slick finger into the chuunin's entrance.
“Ah!” Iruka's hips jerked at the sudden intrusion. Where Kakashi had had the time to get and apply lube didn't even occur to the chuunin through the haze of his arousal. Instead, he shuddered slightly at the new sensation. It was... a little uncomfortable. Just a little bit disappointing, in fact, after all the teasing. He searched out Kakashi's eyes, tilting his head at the strange sensation of the wriggling digit.
Kakashi was staring so intently that Iruka felt as if he might burst into flames at any second. “What are you--” the finger suddenly brushed against something that made the chuunin's cock twitch. “Oh, oh, oh,” Iruka keened, hips jerking involuntarily. Kakashi just looked vaguely satisfied, withdrawing the finger even as Iruka's mouth hung open. Whatever bundle of nerves the jounin had found had caused stars to explode across Iruka's vision, and now he was shivering with want. Two more fingers pressed in, slick and hot, scissoring and stretching before going for the hidden spot again. Iruka actually shouted, because the fingers had been a bit rougher than before; the spike of pleasure that much more intense. His legs twitched and drew apart even further in an unconscious beckoning motion. Iruka went beet red at the amount of concentration he could see written on Kakashi's features. Once again, the fingers withdrew, slowly.
“Should I stop?”
A smile played at the corners of Kakashi's mouth, catching the chuunin's gaze and making him want to kiss at it. Iruka shivered, panting slightly, vaguely unsure of whether or not Kakashi was being serious. “No.” The admission made Iruka's cheeks heat up even more, but his mouth was set in a firm line.
“All those faces and noises you make are so much fun to draw out... If you keep it up, I won't last long at all.” Kakashi chucked before returning to his previous task. Iruka now felt the familiar pressure at his opening before three fingers pushed in, rubbing more of the slickness around. He drew in a deep breath, distracted from the discomfort by Kakashi, who had leaned down again to leave a trail of kisses from the chuunin's hipbone to knee. “Mmm, 'ruka...”
Gradually, Iruka got used to the feeling of Kakashi's fingers languidly sliding in and out of him. He started to rock his hips to match the rhythm, trying to get the jounin to brush against that spot again. However, Kakashi seemed to be purposely avoiding it, instead keeping up a steady pace, only stopping to re-slick his fingers a couple of times. Iruka felt as if he might go mad, his whole body thrumming with desire that was repeatedly denied him.
“It's not enough,” Iruka finally murmured, breathless and embarrassed. Kakashi looked entirely too smug for someone with three fingers up another man's ass, the chuunin thought.
“Mmm... I think you're ready enough,” Kakashi flashed a leer and kissed the tip of Iruka's cock just as he withdrew his fingers, wiping them on the bed sheet. He wriggled up until he was nose to nose with Iruka, crouched over him. Iruka instinctively circled his arms around the jounin's neck. “Okay... take a deep breath...”
Iruka let his eyes slide half shut, sucking in a deep breath to calm his jittering nerves. His gaze didn't leave Kakashi's. I trust you. The chuunin nodded once, and then he could feel the tip of Kakashi's cock at his entrance, hot and insistent.
“Exhale,” Kakashi whispered, and leaned forward to kiss Iruka's nose.
Nodding again, Iruka let out the breath he'd been holding. Kakashi moved, achingly slow and fluid all at the same time. Iruka's breath hitched, trapped in his chest. He bit his lip, trying to distract himself from the discomfort of something so large sliding in. The slow burn of stretching was much more noticeable than the fingers had been. A small whimper escaped the chuunin's lips as a shiver stole over his whole body.
“Breathe,” Kakashi reminded, uncharacteristic tenderness in his voice that clashed with his strained features. “It'll get better, I promise.”
Iruka forced himself to expel the breath that held his body tense, letting himself go completely limp under the jounin. Kakashi smiled softly, then, and gently kissed at the scar bisecting the chuunin's face before moving down to claim Iruka's lips. Iruka moaned slightly when Kakashi deepened the kiss. Kakashi pulled out ever so slowly, until only the head of his cock remained inside the chuunin, before rocking his hips slightly and pushing back in, peppering Iruka's skin with scorching, tender kisses.
“Aaaah,” Iruka moaned, and quivered when Kakashi repeated the action, each time just as slow as the last, adding a slight rock to each thrust that just barely brushed the chuunin's prostate. Iruka tightened his legs around the other man's hips, burying his hands deeper into that soft, silvery hair. He cried out breathlessly when the jounin leaned down to lick at the spot just under his ear before taking it in his teeth and sucking at it. It was achingly warm, and Iruka could feel himself slowly melting from the onslaught of pleasure. Every time Kakashi pulled out and thrust back in, his taut stomach rubbed against Iruka's trapped cock, drawing out even more moans and shivers from the chuunin. Iruka's whole body flushed with pleasure, and after a while, he cautiously began to move against Kakashi, falling into their rhythm.
“We can continue like this,” Kakashi's low voice murmured in his ear, “If you are enjoying it... Or...” The jounin pulled out, thrusting in again at a quicker, more forceful pace. Iruka gasped, eyes wide, and locked his ankles from around Kakashi's hips. He tightened his arms around the other man's neck, nodding.
Kakashi looked insufferably smug for a moment, but then the look softened, and he grinned, repeating the motion, but lining up his thrust perfectly against Iruka's prostate. The chuunin cried out, hips rocking desperately in response as he was reduced to vowels, and now he was writhing for more, even as Kakashi's thrusts picked up in speed, so that Iruka could actually feel the bed rocking beneath him.
“Kami, Iruka,” Kakashi growled, control sorely tested. He tightened his grip in the other man's hair and at his hip, trying to devour the chuunin's mouth, swallowing each and every moan as they collided with his own. Before long, Iruka was shouting Kakashi's name into the other's mouth, interspersed with a desperate, carnal keening.
More. He needed more, Iruka thought shamelessly, falling into Kakashi's perfect rhythm of thrusts and rocks, growing hotter at the sound of their flesh meeting and parting over and over and over again. He didn't notice the tears leaking from the corners of his eyes from the sheer amount of overwhelming sensations, until Kakashi reluctantly broke their kiss to lap at the salty droplets. Iruka could feel warm puffs of Kakashi's breath against his skin, and it made him shiver and writhe and gasp until a steady stream of 'Kakashi, Kakashi, Kakashi' was the only thing that his lips could form.
Moaning deep and low, the jounin buried his face into Iruka's neck. Their rhythm shattered and took on a frantic edge, and Iruka thought he'd come undone when Kakashi shouted his name, muffled into the skin of the chuunin's neck and pillow, suddenly tensing above him, but no-- Iruka came completely unraveled at the keening, desperate noise Kakashi made before slamming back into him a few more times and biting the chuunin's shoulder as he released, hips jerking erratically.
Iruka heard his own shout, and it seemed to go on forever as he was filled with even more warmth than before; he could feel it dripping down his legs as Kakashi writhed above him, grinding against the chuunin's ruthlessly battered prostate. Iruka stiffened, gasping out Kakashi's name like curses and praises, like it could have been his dying breath, like it might be the only thing he could ever say again, before his body succumbed to its own release. Kakashi's lips covered his own even as Iruka's cock twitched and coated the other man with his seed.
Finally, their lips parted and they gasped for air, flushed faces regarding each other. Iruka felt feverish and sated and so unbelievably good; so much so that he almost ached from it.
“Is...” he gasped out, eyes wide, and cheeks still deeply flushed as he took in Kakashi's features, sweat slicked hair and not a few fresh love bites around his neck and shoulders that Iruka couldn't even remember putting there. “Is that how it's supposed to feel?” he asked, so full of incredulity, breath hitching when Kakashi pulled out of him. Kakashi simply gathered him up in his arms, smile somewhat lopsided. Iruka thought it suited him wonderfully.
“Do I take it I've changed your mind, Sensei? Just a little?”
And Iruka laughed, head still buzzing from so much pleasure, skin cooling pleasantly, even though he was pressed against another man. He could feel the rise and fall of Kakashi's chest, his heartbeat, and the contented sigh of the jounin. It lulled him into drowsiness as Kakashi rolled them onto their sides, making sure they were face to face, cleaning off some of the cooling mess with Iruka's sheet.
“I'm convinced,” Iruka murmured, so utterly sated that he never wanted to move again. His ankles tangled with Kakashi's, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, and he smiled brightly when the other man let out a hearty chuckle. It sounded right.
“I'm glad,” Kakashi murmured. Iruka let his eyes slide shut, very slowly, snuggling into the other man's warmth, unable to think about anything else.
Just before the chuunin could succumb to his tiredness, Kakashi muttered something in half amused tones.
“I've slept with women, you know,” he said.
“Oh?” Iruka lilted drowsily, “How was that?”
Kakashi's reply was swift, tone slightly repulsed. "Dunno... squishy? Damp?"
"You certainly have a way with words," Iruka chuckled out, tightening his arms around the jounin and smiling as they sunk into the darkness together.
Rating: NC-17
Obligatory Disclaimer: Warning for smut! Characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto. Writing belongs to me.
Summary: Iruka's outlook is altered after a life changing sexual experience. Naturally.
Notes: Written for this prompt at the Kink Meme. This is my first attempt at smut ever, so I was going nuts trying to get it just right. (read: not too cringe worthy or OOC, which I hope I succeeded at, just a little.) Many thank you hugs and kisses to my ever-patient beta, Beasiesgal! Feedback is love!
It occurred to Iruka abruptly, one autumn night, as he walked home from an impromptu meal at Ichiraku's. The fifth brush of Kakashi's fingers against Iruka's own was too many times to be considered coincidental; for a ninja, in any case. It meant Kakashi was trying to tell him something, in that underneath way of his. All at once, the chuunin felt a wave of apprehension wash over him. It took him by surprise and unsettled him for reasons hidden too deep to name.
He stopped in his tracks, looking more than a little bit alarmed, and turned towards the jounin. “Please don't do that,” he whispered almost inaudibly, unable to meet Kakashi's eyes, being too caught up in making certain that no one had seen.
Fighting down a blush, Iruka told himself that it suddenly felt cold because of the stiff breeze. That it had nothing to do in the change of atmosphere he'd brought upon himself; that he didn't miss the contact, short as it had been. He shivered in spite of himself, once again heading in the direction of his apartment. Kakashi had simply inclined his head before following, staying utterly silent in that infuriating way of his. He'd kept his hands well away from Iruka's for the rest of the short journey, the simple lack of action almost a statement in itself. The usually short walk seemed to take ages, the chuunin thought, trying and failing to calm his frayed nerves.
As soon as they'd arrived, Kakashi turned to leave, only to be stopped by a hand at his shoulder. Iruka swallowed nervously; his hand had moved of it's own accord before the chuunin even known what he was doing. Although his face was turning redder and redder, he couldn't force himself to break the contact.
“Yes, Iruka-sensei?” The jounin's visible brow raised just slightly, inquiring, and Iruka found that he couldn't even begin to fight down the color that had so quickly overtaken his cheeks. His entire face felt warm, but the real heat came from where his hand met Kakashi's shoulder. And that man's voice. It did funny things to the chuunin's insides, making him stumble on his words.
“I-I...”
And Kakashi just stood there. Didn't even look expectant, or guarded, or...anything. Pure shinobi, Iruka's mind supplied, and he wanted to kick himself for even opening his mouth in the first place. Ruining what they had. Whatever that had been. Already, he missed their easy banter and the unguarded side that Kakashi had slowly begun to show him more and more of. Iruka's hand seemed intent on staying put, as if trying to soak up the warmth of Kakashi's cloth covered skin.
“Don't... don't you care what people think?” the chuunin finally forced himself to look at the other man, meeting the blank gaze straight on. “I mean, that I--”
“That you're a chuunin? Should I be ashamed to be seen with a chuunin?” Kakashi's eyes narrowed a fraction and he stepped forward, out of the entryway, letting the door swing shut behind him with a click that only added to the tension. Iruka fought the urge to turn away, instead finally convincing his hand to tear itself away from Kakashi's person. His fingers curled in memory of the warmth even as his arm hung at his side, almost listlessly.
“No. That's stupid,” Iruka glared, taking a deep breath before he continued. “Don't you care that I'm a man.” He cringed to hear the words tumble from his lips, feeling so much more uncomfortable now that it was all out in the open. That it seemed so real. Hating Kakashi a little bit for making him say them. Hating the way they sounded, and the meanings they held. His heart fluttered in his chest for a beat, then another, and Iruka realized he was holding his breath when Kakashi's expression very slowly changed to one of mock surprise.
“Are you, Sensei? I hadn't noticed. My spotless reputation must be ruined by now.”
Something about Kakashi's demeanor made Iruka want to grit his teeth in annoyance. Like it was a joke; but the jounin's voice had been cold and hard at the same time. “Kakashi-san, please be serious.” It was getting harder to breath normally, somehow. Whatever reaction the chuunin had expected, this wasn't it.
All of a sudden, Kakashi was nose to nose with him, serious gaze boring into Iruka's surprised eyes. So close that Iruka could feel the man's body heat, could see each individual strand of fine, silver hair, and could smell the unique mix of weapons oil and miso and pine. Almost every fibre of his being now shouted at him to touch, to take. Instead, the chuunin obeyed the rational shinobi deeply ingrained within him, though his fingers twitched slightly at his sides as he fought the urge to step back and put space between himself and Kakashi.
“Don't. You. Dare.” If the jounin had been maskless, Iruka thought, those hidden lips would surely be pulled downwards in a hard frown to match the chilly gaze. “Don't you even dare, Iruka.” Honorifics dropped completely. A bad sign.
“I... I...” Lost for words, Iruka let his own mouth settle into an unsure frown, brows knit together in frustration. He took a breath, before starting over. “Kakashi, I don't understand how you can be so... so openly--”
“Queer?”
The chuunin actually flinched. “I didn't say that,” Iruka said quietly, although it was pointless.
Finally, finally, the other man rocked back on his heels a bit, regarding him with mixed levels of coldness and ardency. “I apologize for the unwanted attention, then, Iruka-sensei. Please forgive my forwardness.”
“But, I like you,” it slipped out so suddenly that Iruka's hand actually shot up to his mouth, too late to catch the tumble of words that now hung in the air. At this, Kakashi looked slightly amused. And, off-put. “I mean, I think I like you... I... I'm not sure. I just--”
Once again, Kakashi was in his personal space, all but pressed against him, and it felt so right that Iruka ached. Some parts more urgently than others, he tried not to think about.
“I don't think I can be that brave,” he finished lamely, looking to the side. Loathing himself for it. Hating the tangle of emotions he couldn't control, and the cold, assessing part of himself that could be so condemning of it all. Not because of what he truly felt, so much as the anticipation of what others would think.
A small sigh escaped Kakashi's lips, and Iruka could actually feel the warmth against his cheek. He idly pushed down the thoughts of those hidden lips on his own, hot and claiming.
“So conflicted, Sensei,” the jounin drawled lazily, but his visible eye was sharp and alert, pupil dilated. “You're either attracted to me... or you aren't. And I'm pretty sure you are, so that means you must have hangups that need addressing before we get to have any fun...”
“I--” Iruka started, and then gaped openly, because Kakashi had slid his mask down to bare his features, letting the fabric gather at his chin, still hiding some of his jawline. He was even paler under the mask, Iruka noticed, focusing on the other man's features rather than that small, unbalancing action, and what it meant.
“If you need convincing, Sensei, I'm sure I can find a way to... assist you with that.”
“But... but we're both men,” Iruka breathed, though his gaze was transfixed on Kakashi's mouth-- on those unbelievably pale lips. Slightly chapped from the chafing of the mask, the chuunin thought, idly wondering what they might taste like. He mentally shook himself, blushing hotly at the direction of his own thoughts.
“Mmm, yes, we've already covered that particular revelation. Are you so bothered by it?”
“Not... in principle, I suppose. But others--”
“Can learn to deal with it.” The grey and red eyes narrowed dangerously for a fraction, then softened.
Iruka vaguely wondered where the man's hitai-ate had disappeared to, before being drawn in by the quirk of Kakashi's lips.
“If they know what's best for them,” the jounin added, and placed a hand against Iruka's hip, chuckling when the chuunin startled.
“But... in public...”
“Maa, I bet you'd say that if I were a woman too. You're such a prude, sensei.”
Kakashi took advantage of Iruka's stricken silence to raise his other hand and divest the man of his hair tie, smiling at the chuunin's indignant spluttering. Iruka couldn't even find the words to begin. “You look so incredibly sexy like this, Iruka-sensei,” Kakashi murmured, never breaking eye contact. “You really, really do.”
Iruka gulped, blinking once.“But I--”
“Am a man. I know.” Kakashi tilted his head, giving a sigh. “It's not as if we're in public anymore... isn't that your biggest hangup? Why don't we build up your bravery a bit here...” To punctuate his statement, the jounin rolled his hips slightly, brushing against Iruka for the barest of seconds, smirking when the chuunin's face grew brighter and his pupils dilated even further. “Won't you at least let me try to change your mind?” he whispered, voice suddenly tender, though the lust was still very clearly in his eyes.
Iruka tried not to think about how intensely hot that look was making him. “I...” he tried to shake himself mentally, feeling dazed and feverish, though his body craved more contact. “I... okay,” he murmured, hardly aware of his own words. He watched Kakashi's hands, following them with his eyes as they gently slid up his sides and to his vest zipper, before stripping him of the garment. His shirt was next to go, dropped beside his feet, atop his vest.
“Is this okay?” Kakashi's voice had hardly rose above an exhalation. He just stood there, coaxing Iruka with his eyes alone, and the chuunin had to admire Kakashi's patience. It settled Iruka's nerves some, and he finally felt comfortable enough to give a small nod.
When Kakashi leaned forward to lick at a nipple, Iruka couldn't help but tense slightly, again. When the other man latched onto it gently and sucked, the chuunin found he was unable to stop the quiet moan that escaped his lips as electric shivers ran through him. Kakashi moved onto the other nub, running his hands up and down Iruka's sides.
“Still okay?”
“Yes,” Iruka was surprised at how breathless his own voice sounded, forcing himself to relax as Kakashi's nose nuzzled at his collar bone.
Kakashi stepped forward to press a thigh between the chuunin's legs. He latched onto the skin where neck met shoulder, sucking, but moved away after tearing another pleasured moan from the tanned sensei, who was rapidly coming undone. “Mmm, responsive...”
Iruka swallowed hard, eyes wide. “W-why did you stop?” A furious blush followed his hastily murmured words. Embarrassment or not, the chuunin couldn't deny that he craved more contact. He could hardly believe how easily Kakashi had turned him into such a quivering mess. Come back, his body ached, feeling too cold without Kakashi pressed against him.
“Would it make such a difference if one of us were female?”
Still feeling fevered everywhere Kakashi had touched him, Iruka could only blink in response. Before he could collect his thoughts to form an answer, he felt his head shake of its own accord. No. “You,” he breathed. “I like you.” He promptly turned redder, turning his face to hide his discomfort. Even here, in the middle of his own living room, he couldn't help but feel self conscious.
Kakashi stepped forward again, wearing a smirk, although not an unkind one. “And I like you.”
Iruka looked up, startled, and not just a little bit pleased; the words proved to calm him some.
“The package you're wrapped in is just a bonus... And, I think I should get back to unwrapping you...” With that, Kakashi pressed against the chuunin once more, fingers deftly playing at the man's waistband. Waiting for permission, Iruka realized, nodding his head just once in answer. He felt like he might stop breathing if the jounin didn't continue. As it was, Iruka's breaths were coming in short, halting gasps.
“Should I take you on the floor, sensei?” Kakashi purred in that sinful, seductive way, and Iruka could only gulp, trying his best not to nod, even as his body ached in want. “No, I think the bed is more fitting for your first time, wouldn't you say, Iruka-sensei? If this is still alright for you...”
Iruka shot him a look that threatened a painful outcome if the jounin didn't stop wasting time with the teasing and just get on with it already.
Mercifully, Kakashi started backing him towards the bedroom slowly, distracting him with a toe curling kiss and pulling off articles of clothing on the way. Iruka found himself responding, growing more and more bold as Kakashi's tongue invaded his mouth and coaxed his own to join in. He tangled one hand in Kakashi's hair, which was much softer than he would have guessed, and let his other arm curl around the jounin's neck.
“Should I start slow and draw it out,” Kakashi murmured against Iruka's lips, grinning rakishly. Iruka felt the bed at the back of his knees and pulled Kakashi over him, need swelling more and more within him. “Slow and sensual, until you're writhing for more... Begging me to fuck you into your own mattress, over and over again... Oh, sensei, do you want that?”
“Oh, Kami,” Iruka groaned, moaning deep in his throat. Kakashi was barely touching him at all; the man just hovered over him. Iruka shuddered when the jounin's teeth lightly scraped against his throat. Those sinful words whispered in his ear made the chuunin's body go hot and quiver with need for something he couldn't even place. It didn't help when Kakashi brought his hand up to brush against the bulge in Iruka's boxers, or when the jounin licked at his ear to punctuate each sensual statement. “Oh, oh...” Iruka sucked in a breath, ignoring the way his heart hammered against his chest and how anticipation curled in his stomach.
Kakashi whispered on, unhindered. “Shh... there are so many things we could do, Sensei... So many things you've been missing out on. But this time...” And he chuckled, rich and dark, a sound that slowly melted Iruka's patience. “This time, I'll make love to you. If that's okay with you, Iruka... ”
“K-kakashi-san,” he whimpered, finally gathering the courage to buck into the other man, rubbing himself against the jounin shamelessly. His face and neck flushed with desire, eyes going dark with lust.
“Oh,” Kakashi breathed, biting his lip before pulling down the chuunin's boxers to quickly free the entrapped cock. “Kami, you look...” he trailed off, taking in the sight of Iruka, spread out and quivering ever so slightly. Instead of continuing, the jounin dipped his head forward to lick at the precome that was sluggishly oozing from the tip of Iruka's cock.
Iruka gave a muffled yelp at the sudden action, face flushing even deeper in embarrassment. He fisted the sheets, drawing in several gasping breaths, and focused all of his attention on not losing it right then and there. “Kakashi-san, please.” It wasn't fair that the other man wasn't completely naked yet, or that he wasn't also a trembling mess.
“Shh... Just Kakashi. I'm so sorry I wound you up so tight,” the jounin murmured.
He didn't look very sorry, Iruka thought, squeezing his eyes shut. There was a rustle of cloth, and the chuunin opened his eyes to find that Kakashi was finally, finally naked.
“No more teasing, I promise,” the jounin grinned, leaning down once again. “For now,” he amended, and kissed Iruka's hip bone at the same time as he slipped a slick finger into the chuunin's entrance.
“Ah!” Iruka's hips jerked at the sudden intrusion. Where Kakashi had had the time to get and apply lube didn't even occur to the chuunin through the haze of his arousal. Instead, he shuddered slightly at the new sensation. It was... a little uncomfortable. Just a little bit disappointing, in fact, after all the teasing. He searched out Kakashi's eyes, tilting his head at the strange sensation of the wriggling digit.
Kakashi was staring so intently that Iruka felt as if he might burst into flames at any second. “What are you--” the finger suddenly brushed against something that made the chuunin's cock twitch. “Oh, oh, oh,” Iruka keened, hips jerking involuntarily. Kakashi just looked vaguely satisfied, withdrawing the finger even as Iruka's mouth hung open. Whatever bundle of nerves the jounin had found had caused stars to explode across Iruka's vision, and now he was shivering with want. Two more fingers pressed in, slick and hot, scissoring and stretching before going for the hidden spot again. Iruka actually shouted, because the fingers had been a bit rougher than before; the spike of pleasure that much more intense. His legs twitched and drew apart even further in an unconscious beckoning motion. Iruka went beet red at the amount of concentration he could see written on Kakashi's features. Once again, the fingers withdrew, slowly.
“Should I stop?”
A smile played at the corners of Kakashi's mouth, catching the chuunin's gaze and making him want to kiss at it. Iruka shivered, panting slightly, vaguely unsure of whether or not Kakashi was being serious. “No.” The admission made Iruka's cheeks heat up even more, but his mouth was set in a firm line.
“All those faces and noises you make are so much fun to draw out... If you keep it up, I won't last long at all.” Kakashi chucked before returning to his previous task. Iruka now felt the familiar pressure at his opening before three fingers pushed in, rubbing more of the slickness around. He drew in a deep breath, distracted from the discomfort by Kakashi, who had leaned down again to leave a trail of kisses from the chuunin's hipbone to knee. “Mmm, 'ruka...”
Gradually, Iruka got used to the feeling of Kakashi's fingers languidly sliding in and out of him. He started to rock his hips to match the rhythm, trying to get the jounin to brush against that spot again. However, Kakashi seemed to be purposely avoiding it, instead keeping up a steady pace, only stopping to re-slick his fingers a couple of times. Iruka felt as if he might go mad, his whole body thrumming with desire that was repeatedly denied him.
“It's not enough,” Iruka finally murmured, breathless and embarrassed. Kakashi looked entirely too smug for someone with three fingers up another man's ass, the chuunin thought.
“Mmm... I think you're ready enough,” Kakashi flashed a leer and kissed the tip of Iruka's cock just as he withdrew his fingers, wiping them on the bed sheet. He wriggled up until he was nose to nose with Iruka, crouched over him. Iruka instinctively circled his arms around the jounin's neck. “Okay... take a deep breath...”
Iruka let his eyes slide half shut, sucking in a deep breath to calm his jittering nerves. His gaze didn't leave Kakashi's. I trust you. The chuunin nodded once, and then he could feel the tip of Kakashi's cock at his entrance, hot and insistent.
“Exhale,” Kakashi whispered, and leaned forward to kiss Iruka's nose.
Nodding again, Iruka let out the breath he'd been holding. Kakashi moved, achingly slow and fluid all at the same time. Iruka's breath hitched, trapped in his chest. He bit his lip, trying to distract himself from the discomfort of something so large sliding in. The slow burn of stretching was much more noticeable than the fingers had been. A small whimper escaped the chuunin's lips as a shiver stole over his whole body.
“Breathe,” Kakashi reminded, uncharacteristic tenderness in his voice that clashed with his strained features. “It'll get better, I promise.”
Iruka forced himself to expel the breath that held his body tense, letting himself go completely limp under the jounin. Kakashi smiled softly, then, and gently kissed at the scar bisecting the chuunin's face before moving down to claim Iruka's lips. Iruka moaned slightly when Kakashi deepened the kiss. Kakashi pulled out ever so slowly, until only the head of his cock remained inside the chuunin, before rocking his hips slightly and pushing back in, peppering Iruka's skin with scorching, tender kisses.
“Aaaah,” Iruka moaned, and quivered when Kakashi repeated the action, each time just as slow as the last, adding a slight rock to each thrust that just barely brushed the chuunin's prostate. Iruka tightened his legs around the other man's hips, burying his hands deeper into that soft, silvery hair. He cried out breathlessly when the jounin leaned down to lick at the spot just under his ear before taking it in his teeth and sucking at it. It was achingly warm, and Iruka could feel himself slowly melting from the onslaught of pleasure. Every time Kakashi pulled out and thrust back in, his taut stomach rubbed against Iruka's trapped cock, drawing out even more moans and shivers from the chuunin. Iruka's whole body flushed with pleasure, and after a while, he cautiously began to move against Kakashi, falling into their rhythm.
“We can continue like this,” Kakashi's low voice murmured in his ear, “If you are enjoying it... Or...” The jounin pulled out, thrusting in again at a quicker, more forceful pace. Iruka gasped, eyes wide, and locked his ankles from around Kakashi's hips. He tightened his arms around the other man's neck, nodding.
Kakashi looked insufferably smug for a moment, but then the look softened, and he grinned, repeating the motion, but lining up his thrust perfectly against Iruka's prostate. The chuunin cried out, hips rocking desperately in response as he was reduced to vowels, and now he was writhing for more, even as Kakashi's thrusts picked up in speed, so that Iruka could actually feel the bed rocking beneath him.
“Kami, Iruka,” Kakashi growled, control sorely tested. He tightened his grip in the other man's hair and at his hip, trying to devour the chuunin's mouth, swallowing each and every moan as they collided with his own. Before long, Iruka was shouting Kakashi's name into the other's mouth, interspersed with a desperate, carnal keening.
More. He needed more, Iruka thought shamelessly, falling into Kakashi's perfect rhythm of thrusts and rocks, growing hotter at the sound of their flesh meeting and parting over and over and over again. He didn't notice the tears leaking from the corners of his eyes from the sheer amount of overwhelming sensations, until Kakashi reluctantly broke their kiss to lap at the salty droplets. Iruka could feel warm puffs of Kakashi's breath against his skin, and it made him shiver and writhe and gasp until a steady stream of 'Kakashi, Kakashi, Kakashi' was the only thing that his lips could form.
Moaning deep and low, the jounin buried his face into Iruka's neck. Their rhythm shattered and took on a frantic edge, and Iruka thought he'd come undone when Kakashi shouted his name, muffled into the skin of the chuunin's neck and pillow, suddenly tensing above him, but no-- Iruka came completely unraveled at the keening, desperate noise Kakashi made before slamming back into him a few more times and biting the chuunin's shoulder as he released, hips jerking erratically.
Iruka heard his own shout, and it seemed to go on forever as he was filled with even more warmth than before; he could feel it dripping down his legs as Kakashi writhed above him, grinding against the chuunin's ruthlessly battered prostate. Iruka stiffened, gasping out Kakashi's name like curses and praises, like it could have been his dying breath, like it might be the only thing he could ever say again, before his body succumbed to its own release. Kakashi's lips covered his own even as Iruka's cock twitched and coated the other man with his seed.
Finally, their lips parted and they gasped for air, flushed faces regarding each other. Iruka felt feverish and sated and so unbelievably good; so much so that he almost ached from it.
“Is...” he gasped out, eyes wide, and cheeks still deeply flushed as he took in Kakashi's features, sweat slicked hair and not a few fresh love bites around his neck and shoulders that Iruka couldn't even remember putting there. “Is that how it's supposed to feel?” he asked, so full of incredulity, breath hitching when Kakashi pulled out of him. Kakashi simply gathered him up in his arms, smile somewhat lopsided. Iruka thought it suited him wonderfully.
“Do I take it I've changed your mind, Sensei? Just a little?”
And Iruka laughed, head still buzzing from so much pleasure, skin cooling pleasantly, even though he was pressed against another man. He could feel the rise and fall of Kakashi's chest, his heartbeat, and the contented sigh of the jounin. It lulled him into drowsiness as Kakashi rolled them onto their sides, making sure they were face to face, cleaning off some of the cooling mess with Iruka's sheet.
“I'm convinced,” Iruka murmured, so utterly sated that he never wanted to move again. His ankles tangled with Kakashi's, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, and he smiled brightly when the other man let out a hearty chuckle. It sounded right.
“I'm glad,” Kakashi murmured. Iruka let his eyes slide shut, very slowly, snuggling into the other man's warmth, unable to think about anything else.
Just before the chuunin could succumb to his tiredness, Kakashi muttered something in half amused tones.
“I've slept with women, you know,” he said.
“Oh?” Iruka lilted drowsily, “How was that?”
Kakashi's reply was swift, tone slightly repulsed. "Dunno... squishy? Damp?"
"You certainly have a way with words," Iruka chuckled out, tightening his arms around the jounin and smiling as they sunk into the darkness together.