In the last 24 hours I have had several things happen that could be called insane. The most recent of all of them is that I think I am falling for a red horned, red eyed, green demon
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Did I do something to offend her? Let me see...she drank, she spilled, we fixed, she offered and I accepted, she came to my room, we ordered food....hmm? Not that I could remember. So, why the sudden Dr. Jekyll syndrome. The sudden change in her was so intense it actually made my horns hurt.
"Never pegged you for the eat and run type but I guess we all have our little secrets now don't we." I laughed nervously and winked.
Maybe if I could just lighten the mood, Angie's Mr. Hyde face would pop back to the surface and we could go back to that warm fuzzy feeling I was beginning to like so much. Definitely more then this new series of shocks and sharp edges defense system I was getting off her now.
Now he is trying to make me smile and honestly, I would think it was cute if it didn't annoy me so much. Ok so it isn't that it annoys me, it's just that I can't let myself get attached so I have to make it annoy me, if that makes any sense whatsoever.
"I can't do this." I whisper as I look away. I wanted nothing more than to cling to him and shout hey I like you, but I couldn't. I couldn't let anyone else die because if me...I wouldn't let anyone else die because of me.
"M..Maybe I should go now." I suggest. This suggestion was more out of fear than anything. Fear that he knew at this very moment what I was feeling, even without the singing, and that he was going to call me on it.
I knew I should have just gone to my room and gone to sleep. Maybe then I wouldn't be so conflicted and he wouldn't be looking so cute right now. Imagine that, me thinking a demon is cute. Next thing we know I will be having warm fuzzies for a vampire.
Boy oh boy was I ever getting a crash course in bi-polar 101. Not that Angie was normally like this, I don't think, but right now the sudden change in attitude was nothing short of quick and amazingly aggravating. But, I tried my best to remain my happy shinny self despite of things.
Well you can't leave now, how on earth will I eat all that food I just ordered. I mean, unless you know another slayer around here will a good healthy appetite to take your place."
I didn't want anyone to take her place though. I really like the lady and wanted her to stay as long as possible. So why all these crazy mixed feelings. First she likes me now she was trying her damnedest not to like me. What was she so scared of? The fact that I was demon, did that do it, did that instant realization change everything?
"I'm not such whats got you worried sugar plum but I can assure you your safe here and I'd really like it if you stayed."
"I am sure you can share some with Fred...Or I can take some back to my room...I just shouldn't be here." I said as I looked away from him. I just wanted to relax, to curl up and have him be near me, but I couldn't
( ... )
Well now. If this just wasn't the proverbial kick in the pants I don't know what is. I mean hello? Not safe for me? Had she taken a good look around lately? I've thrown in my musical towel for a few hours each week to fight evil things with Angel and company. Danger was something I lived with just about every day now. If anything being with her made that fact a little more bearable in my book.
"Suite yourself cupcake. Far be it from me to try and stop you but let me tell you this, you keep running away from things that make you happy your gonna find you have nothing left worth fighting for. Something tells me, for a slayer, that can't be good."
I turned back to the bar and poured myself another drink. I really wasn't much for the speech giving, that was more Angel and Wes then me but I couldn't just let her walk out the door like that. In case she had forgotten, I had this nifty little way of knowing certain things and I knew that when she walked in here things were all rainbows and butterflies. Now, suddenly, everything seemed to
( ... )
"Maybe thats the way it should be. Everyone else that I was supposed to fight for has died, and it has been my fault. Pardon me if I don't want that to happen to anyone else." I say trying to be angry, but more so I was just depressed. "I am sure there is someone safer for you to spend time with anyway."
What I really wanted to yell was STOP ME PLEASE but I didn't, instead I let myself believe what I was saying. That is until my stomach betrayed me. Dammit, the damn thing had to go and growl. "Dammit" I mutter annoyed.
"I need to go.." I say again trying my damdest to make an exit.
What in the dickens was going on inside that pretty little head of hers because it definitely was not the anger she was trying to make it look like. Fear, yeah ok I got that, but something else as well. Something a bit more like...wanting. Wanting what?
"I need to go.."
Bah, screw reading her. I just needed to get her to stay, maybe calm down and talk to me.
"At least stay until the food gets here. Then you can take it with you."
"No its ok...I am not that hungry." Ok that was a clear lie, he had to hear my stomach growl, damn stomach. I just wish that I wasn't so worried about these things, that the fear of seeing him dead in a puddle of his own blood wasn't something that I feared. I just wished that it was all so much easier.
"I..I..." I was about to say something else when I heard Caitlen yell and then a door slam. I knew what it was, and I knew full well she didn't want anyone around right now, but I wanted an out and I was going to try and use this. "I should go check on her." I said a clear effort to escape.
I knew full well Lorne also knew what was wrong with her and that he would stop me, but I had to try right? Well it didn't work anyway, he moved in front of me, giving me that look, the look of am I gonna spill or not. Fine, He wants to know what is going on, I will freaking tell him.
"If I get close to you, you will end up dead like everyone else. I can't allow that." and now I have said too much.
Not hungry my little green patooty. She most certainly was too hungry and I didn't need to read her to know it; her tummy tum did all the talking for her.
There was a ruckus workin' up somewhere down the hall. Some big to do in the lobby no doubt, but as long as no one was screaming in terror it was pretty much safe to say it had nothing to do with us. And of course, as if my thinking it had made it happen, Cait yelled, stormed up the stairs, and slammed her door. Right on que sugar bear but big sis here isn't getting off that easy.
"I should go check on her."
Her and I both knew that wasn't necessary. Whatever was stirring Cait's need to scream and slam doors wasn't exactly life or death and I was pretty sure the little tyke could handle it on her own...for now. I moved in front of Angelina and refused to let the precious thing out the door before I heard it straight from her perfectly full lips what in the heck was going on here between us. I gave her a look that said it all.
"If I get close to you, you will end up dead like
( ... )
I could tell that he wasn't believing a word I was saying and I could also tell, he wasn't going to let me just run. Ok, so he is smarter than I give him credit for, and also take some from me because I am not the escape artist I thought I was.
"You are really not going to let me leave are you?" I ask as I look at him hopefully. "And how do you know that you won't be hurt because of me. David lives in LA, he can get to anyone he wants to anytime he wants to. He will hurt you if he knows you matter to me." I explain. "I have to protect you from that."
She was scared. I could feel it as strongly as if it were my own fear. But, if there was anything I had learned from hangin' around these folks it was that you couldn't let fear rule your life. If you did, you were bound to go mad and I wasn't about to sit by and watch that happen to my dear sweetie Angelina.
Because that's what she was now, my sweet Angelina because let's face it here kiddie, I was quickly falling for the little vixen. And maybe, just maybe, she was the one who needed protecting. Not just from David, but from herself as well.
"Oh, you can leave but I'm asking, no begging, you not to. Your not alone here sugar plum. If, and I use the word if strongly, David comes here, we'll...all of us...will take care of it. Promise. No more worries." I said, cupping her cheeks with my hands and looking down into those amazing eyes of hers.
Ok this just wasn't fair. He knew how to get to me, knew what I was feeling and wi th him it is much worse than it is with Cait. I mean with my sister it doesn't bother me because I can tell her to bug off, but with Lorne...well I can't be hateful. "You are an evil evil man you know that right?" I ask as I esign myself to having to calm down. "However, you don't know what he is capable of." I add
( ... )
A minute ago she tried to make a quick get away and now she try to steal a kiss. Not only trying but succeeding. I was powerless against that sugary sweet softness. I held her trembling body close to mine, everything forgotten (including the army sized take out order that was on it's way) and kissed her back.
Maybe she was right. Maybe I was asking for it by getting involved with her and maybe her ex would come after us but right at this very moment, I didn't care. I didn't care if he brought the entire staff of Wolfram and Hart as protection. Right now, all I cared about was this beautiful little vixen in my arms.
It was now my turn to tremble as she pulled away from me.
"Well now, that's more like it." I said with a smile that could have split my face in two. I've already died I thought. Died and gone to heaven.
I rest my head on his shoulder. "Remember what I said! I am holding to that, you die I bring you back to kill you myself." I remind him as I finally pull away from him.
With that I returned to my chair, curling my agile body up as much as I could. I didn't know how to tell him how much I liked him, not as if he didn't already know that, but still, I couldn't find a way to just say it. I wish this was all easier, but it just isn't.
Did I do something to offend her? Let me see...she drank, she spilled, we fixed, she offered and I accepted, she came to my room, we ordered food....hmm? Not that I could remember. So, why the sudden Dr. Jekyll syndrome. The sudden change in her was so intense it actually made my horns hurt.
"Never pegged you for the eat and run type but I guess we all have our little secrets now don't we." I laughed nervously and winked.
Maybe if I could just lighten the mood, Angie's Mr. Hyde face would pop back to the surface and we could go back to that warm fuzzy feeling I was beginning to like so much. Definitely more then this new series of shocks and sharp edges defense system I was getting off her now.
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"I can't do this." I whisper as I look away. I wanted nothing more than to cling to him and shout hey I like you, but I couldn't. I couldn't let anyone else die because if me...I wouldn't let anyone else die because of me.
"M..Maybe I should go now." I suggest. This suggestion was more out of fear than anything. Fear that he knew at this very moment what I was feeling, even without the singing, and that he was going to call me on it.
I knew I should have just gone to my room and gone to sleep. Maybe then I wouldn't be so conflicted and he wouldn't be looking so cute right now. Imagine that, me thinking a demon is cute. Next thing we know I will be having warm fuzzies for a vampire.
"I should go."
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Well you can't leave now, how on earth will I eat all that food I just ordered. I mean, unless you know another slayer around here will a good healthy appetite to take your place."
I didn't want anyone to take her place though. I really like the lady and wanted her to stay as long as possible. So why all these crazy mixed feelings. First she likes me now she was trying her damnedest not to like me. What was she so scared of? The fact that I was demon, did that do it, did that instant realization change everything?
"I'm not such whats got you worried sugar plum but I can assure you your safe here and I'd really like it if you stayed."
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"Suite yourself cupcake. Far be it from me to try and stop you but let me tell you this, you keep running away from things that make you happy your gonna find you have nothing left worth fighting for. Something tells me, for a slayer, that can't be good."
I turned back to the bar and poured myself another drink. I really wasn't much for the speech giving, that was more Angel and Wes then me but I couldn't just let her walk out the door like that. In case she had forgotten, I had this nifty little way of knowing certain things and I knew that when she walked in here things were all rainbows and butterflies. Now, suddenly, everything seemed to ( ... )
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What I really wanted to yell was STOP ME PLEASE but I didn't, instead I let myself believe what I was saying. That is until my stomach betrayed me. Dammit, the damn thing had to go and growl. "Dammit" I mutter annoyed.
"I need to go.." I say again trying my damdest to make an exit.
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"I need to go.."
Bah, screw reading her. I just needed to get her to stay, maybe calm down and talk to me.
"At least stay until the food gets here. Then you can take it with you."
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"I..I..." I was about to say something else when I heard Caitlen yell and then a door slam. I knew what it was, and I knew full well she didn't want anyone around right now, but I wanted an out and I was going to try and use this. "I should go check on her." I said a clear effort to escape.
I knew full well Lorne also knew what was wrong with her and that he would stop me, but I had to try right? Well it didn't work anyway, he moved in front of me, giving me that look, the look of am I gonna spill or not. Fine, He wants to know what is going on, I will freaking tell him.
"If I get close to you, you will end up dead like everyone else. I can't allow that." and now I have said too much.
Reply
There was a ruckus workin' up somewhere down the hall. Some big to do in the lobby no doubt, but as long as no one was screaming in terror it was pretty much safe to say it had nothing to do with us. And of course, as if my thinking it had made it happen, Cait yelled, stormed up the stairs, and slammed her door. Right on que sugar bear but big sis here isn't getting off that easy.
"I should go check on her."
Her and I both knew that wasn't necessary. Whatever was stirring Cait's need to scream and slam doors wasn't exactly life or death and I was pretty sure the little tyke could handle it on her own...for now. I moved in front of Angelina and refused to let the precious thing out the door before I heard it straight from her perfectly full lips what in the heck was going on here between us. I gave her a look that said it all.
"If I get close to you, you will end up dead like ( ... )
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"You are really not going to let me leave are you?" I ask as I look at him hopefully. "And how do you know that you won't be hurt because of me. David lives in LA, he can get to anyone he wants to anytime he wants to. He will hurt you if he knows you matter to me." I explain. "I have to protect you from that."
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Because that's what she was now, my sweet Angelina because let's face it here kiddie, I was quickly falling for the little vixen. And maybe, just maybe, she was the one who needed protecting. Not just from David, but from herself as well.
"Oh, you can leave but I'm asking, no begging, you not to. Your not alone here sugar plum. If, and I use the word if strongly, David comes here, we'll...all of us...will take care of it. Promise. No more worries." I said, cupping her cheeks with my hands and looking down into those amazing eyes of hers.
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A minute ago she tried to make a quick get away and now she try to steal a kiss. Not only trying but succeeding. I was powerless against that sugary sweet softness. I held her trembling body close to mine, everything forgotten (including the army sized take out order that was on it's way) and kissed her back.
Maybe she was right. Maybe I was asking for it by getting involved with her and maybe her ex would come after us but right at this very moment, I didn't care. I didn't care if he brought the entire staff of Wolfram and Hart as protection. Right now, all I cared about was this beautiful little vixen in my arms.
It was now my turn to tremble as she pulled away from me.
"Well now, that's more like it." I said with a smile that could have split my face in two. I've already died I thought. Died and gone to heaven.
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With that I returned to my chair, curling my agile body up as much as I could. I didn't know how to tell him how much I liked him, not as if he didn't already know that, but still, I couldn't find a way to just say it. I wish this was all easier, but it just isn't.
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