(no subject)
I'm afraid I haven't changed.
I know my world around me has changed significantly since I last wrote. But I wonder if I'm more or less the same person. I think I am, and that depresses me.
"Don't ever change" is what I used to say to those who I admired, afraid that a tweak in their behaviors would tangle the fabric of awesomeness from which they were woven. Never have I thought of myself as perfect, but I know change can work both ways. Still, I'm afraid that if I haven't changed for the worse then I've experienced stagnation.
The only quality I've seen emerge within the last four years is that I've "gotten my act together" which means I bought in to the bullshit school system and started getting good grades. So far I've been good at it. I guess that's a start, though I might not be proud. Change in others is easier to see than change in oneself, but I haven't exactly been updating this journal in high school. I can barely track the major events of my life.
I guess I'll point out now that my bitch of a mother is back to ruin my life. She's been resuming custody with my brother but I've refused to go, mostly citing my inability to be assed by her lack of stable lifestyle. Hopefully I recorded that she left in early June.
Records are nice to have. Many a time have I regretted not updating regularly, but I hope that eventually I will find enough regrets to motivate me to take action and record my life on this livejournal. I've stopped reading the records, but that's because I feel that they don't give a big picture.
Anyway. School is almost half done. I've applied to Cornell, Brown, Johns Hopkins, Stanford, and half the UCs. It's time for financial aid applications though Cornell's has been due for a while.
I think the last game I talked about was Kingdom Hearts. I've since played FFVII, FFVIICC, and FFVI.
Flute is going ok, but after getting a grasp on that one nocturne I stopped practicing the piano, I've tried to find another piece to inspire me but so far I can only blame school and my lack of will for the interruptions.
I heard Micheal Dwong got kicked out of Berkeley for getting a D in Art History, which is so depressing because he is a genius, and I don't use that word lightly.
I drive a Honda Civic now because my scooter is dead, again.
I know my world around me has changed significantly since I last wrote. But I wonder if I'm more or less the same person. I think I am, and that depresses me.
"Don't ever change" is what I used to say to those who I admired, afraid that a tweak in their behaviors would tangle the fabric of awesomeness from which they were woven. Never have I thought of myself as perfect, but I know change can work both ways. Still, I'm afraid that if I haven't changed for the worse then I've experienced stagnation.
The only quality I've seen emerge within the last four years is that I've "gotten my act together" which means I bought in to the bullshit school system and started getting good grades. So far I've been good at it. I guess that's a start, though I might not be proud. Change in others is easier to see than change in oneself, but I haven't exactly been updating this journal in high school. I can barely track the major events of my life.
I guess I'll point out now that my bitch of a mother is back to ruin my life. She's been resuming custody with my brother but I've refused to go, mostly citing my inability to be assed by her lack of stable lifestyle. Hopefully I recorded that she left in early June.
Records are nice to have. Many a time have I regretted not updating regularly, but I hope that eventually I will find enough regrets to motivate me to take action and record my life on this livejournal. I've stopped reading the records, but that's because I feel that they don't give a big picture.
Anyway. School is almost half done. I've applied to Cornell, Brown, Johns Hopkins, Stanford, and half the UCs. It's time for financial aid applications though Cornell's has been due for a while.
I think the last game I talked about was Kingdom Hearts. I've since played FFVII, FFVIICC, and FFVI.
Flute is going ok, but after getting a grasp on that one nocturne I stopped practicing the piano, I've tried to find another piece to inspire me but so far I can only blame school and my lack of will for the interruptions.
I heard Micheal Dwong got kicked out of Berkeley for getting a D in Art History, which is so depressing because he is a genius, and I don't use that word lightly.
I drive a Honda Civic now because my scooter is dead, again.