Mistakes

[seisyun_punk]

I think I have finally realized that I really did mess up.

Keeping up with school is actually very very easy. Compared to probably almost every other school here. I mean, I have Monday/Wednesday/Friday classes and Tuesday/Thursday. Rarely do I have to do homework for Tues/Thurs. Meaning, every after school I have time to homework from the major

Comments

[haikara_girl]

Ramen Shop Girl was Excellent. My only real complaint about it is that it ended too prematurely for my liking, but I kind of should have been expecting this, considering you mentioned how you only wrote a part of it so far, and of course there was the ominous "Part One" right at the beginning too. Still, neither of these things prepared me for the disappointment of finding myself at the end of the story with nothing more to read :( But what there _was_ of it to read, I liked, a lot. You've got that great knack for turning what could be considered ordinary, day-to-day routines into events that sound _far_ more interesting than they, most likely, actually are for the person who is performing them, and it was on full display throughout.. you gave your protagonist such a keen eye, and a descriptive vocabulary to match, and that made everything being discussed and commented on in the story really engaging :) Even like, little, potentially insignificant things jump out at you and grab your(or at least _my_) attention. Like the detail about the pair of pants with approximately three holes in the right leg, all accidents. I wonder about that. I mean, _one_ accidental hole is understandable(not to mention repairable), but three? All on the same leg? I couldn't help but be curious about what happened in each case to lead to the holes(falling down, maybe? faulty laundry soap? clumsy knife skills?) ...And why you would keep pants that had three holes in them. ...Yeah. Anyway. So if you were looking to construct a story around the idea of people who are "bored, but not boring", I think you succeeded at that.

The photographs accompanying the text were a nice touch too, but you almost didn't even need to use them, since, again, you described everything in such a way that it was effortless to be able to almost perfectly imagine the scenes being depicted :)

..Billy Chaka advises to never use elevators, and always take the stairs :D That is who you were referencing, perhaps? If so, it would have completely gone over my head if not for the fact I am currently re-reading Tokyo Suckerpunch, and already passed the part where he explained the logic behind that tip(one that is perfectly reasonable. the fear for me wouldn't have anything to do with having nowhere to escape to if you got cornered in an elevator though. it has more to do with the possibility of the elevator breaking down and you being stuck in it for hours on end T_T that's why I hardly ever use them..)

All in all, great story ♥ Good job ♥ I'm glad you decided to provide links to it and share it with everyone :)

[seisyun_punk]

Definitely. I would have to give a shout out to everyones favorite no.1 cool-guy Billy Chaka. I don't exactly live by that proverb in real life even if stairs are excellent exercise. T__T thats a shame. I have never even gotten stuck in an elevator before! Perhaps one day that will change and I will lose trust in them...

Thank you though, I appreciate you giving it a read. Not sure when I will continue the story but I think even I am anticipating what will happen next. Whenever that is, I will most likely post, rest assured.
~hideki~