The State of the Jen
Hello again,
I figured I should fill in the details of my life for those of you who have been asking, since I've been rather bad yet again about posting here. I'm not sure why, really, but perhaps it's due to a slight disconnect I've been feeling in general.
Anyway, here's some of the tidbits about my life (these days, a lot of my life is about these kids I work with, so there's a lot about the kids here):
For this term, I've been asked to teach an autism class of seven kids between 11 and 14. All of them are non-verbal, and it's been a really interesting but hard job. I get up each day at 5:30, to get out by 6:30, to get to school by 7:40. I spend the day in high gear, managing seven students and four other staff members (some of whom have been stressing me out more than the students!) When the kids go home, I stay for a few more hours working and planning and doing admin stuff. Usually I leave around 6 or 6:30 and get home at about 7:30. I've had to build a class from scratch, setting up new systems and trying to make a class run with kids who have some pretty severe and dangerous behavior issues. It's definitely changed my concept of normal. Here's a brief overview of the kids I work with:
JD: He's probably the most able of the kids. He doesn't speak, but does sign for very basic requests. When he get's upset, however, he will spit at you, kick you, pinch you, hit you, and throw large objects around the room. He has broken windows and destroyed heaters and all sorts of things. Oh yeah, and he also likes to drop trou and eat his poo. But he's also a really sweet kid who really relies on the adults around him. I learned a lot more about him when I met his older brother who is also autistic but verbal, and VERY violent. Compared to his brother, he's really rather easy.
SF: He's really cool. His favorite activity is to bounce a ball with an adult, at a very specific distance and speed. It's rather like a meditation with this kid. But I have several bite marks on me from when he gets upset and throws tantrums. Now that we've gotten a handle on his behavior, though, he's learned that his tantrums don't take him far.
AF: He's a laid back kid whose worse behavior is just dropping his trousers and exposing himself. I think he just does it because he likes the adult interaction when he's told to pull up his pants.
US: This is a boy with autism and Down's Syndrome. He's a really charming kid though...the one most likely to be seen interacting with other kids in the class. Though we do have to spend a great deal of time wiping the poor kid's nose because he has a constant cold.
SS: He's a handsome 12 year old who looks and acts 15 sometimes. He loves the ladies and is often draping himself on the women he likes. But when something bothers him, he throws a tantrum like a 3 year old, kicking and screaming on the floor, biting and pinching anyone who might be near him. He is also the reason we have to keep the door locked in our classroom because he will often just open up and run.
RH: He's also a really sweet kid who mostly seems in his own world till you get to know him. He loves to sing and has this interesting little flirty studmuffin thing going on with the only girl in the class.
MD: The only girl in the class. She's also really sweet and has a lovely voice. She loves being sung to and will often sing back. She can speak just a bit..she has about 3 words that she can use with meaning and everything else is just echoing. But she really has a problem with loud noises...I think it honestly causes her pain to be assaulted by sound and it can really upset her. She also bites really hard and scratches really well. In general, she's the one who hurts people the most. I remember a meme a while back where people were taking photos of themselves in the moment with no edits or makeup. I avoided it because of the two big bloody lines across my face she had given me. I really didn't want to post that.
Anyway, my days are spent managing them and trying to teach them very basic things like how to cope in the world without getting violent. In general, I think it's working, even if it means I often get bruises, bites, and scratches and will usually shower right after work to wash the spit out of my hair. But I've gotten a lot of compliments from people saying that it's amazing how smoothly things are going in that class, and that I have a real knack for working with the difficult kids and figuring out what makes them kick off and dealing with it. What I don't have a knack for is dealing with teaching assistants with fragile egos who don't follow my lead and make my job harder because they'd rather do what they think they should do than get the work done that we're all supposed to do.
But I have to admit that part of me really loves the work. It's just that I miss having a creative life at the moment. I really miss it.
In other news:
I'm still waiting to hear if I got the grant to do a PhD at WAAPA. All of my plans post-December pretty much ride on this. If I get the grant, I'll spend some time at home before heading there in February. If I don't get the grant, I'll spend some time at home and come back here and continue to get my ass kicked by autistic kids probably. And I'll keep looking for more financial aid. I know I really want to do a PhD, but I won't be taking out any more loans to do it. I've got enough on my back paying for my masters. And coming back here to work is mainly it's a financial decision. If I uprooted and moved without a job or situation to go into, it would just end up costing me more. And it's still slightly better to be earning the pound, even if it's weakening.
I've been pretty sick for about a month now. It started with a basic flu and progressed to a cough that wouldn't go away. And not just an annoying hacking cough, but the kind where you can't breathe when laying down. After about four weeks of coughing, I finally went to the doc who told me I've been walking around with mild pneumonia. I've been spending the last few days confined couch or bed with only my laptop and tv for company mainly.
Normally, I'm not too bothered when I get sick and I'd like to think I'm pretty tough, but this one has been wearing me down. I finally hit a low point when I was sitting by myself in my flat, unable to make myself a cup of tea. I just couldn't do it. I just wanted to call someone and cry, but I couldn't think of anyone to call. This is the hard part about being out here. I've got some really good friends, but at the same time, I'm still on my own for most of this stuff. It can wear ya down a bit. But it's temporary. Hopefully the horse strength antibiotics will do the trick and I can get back out there where I won't feel so on my own.
But other than that, life goes on and isn't that bad really. I've been getting to some good music events and soon will be able to perform in them too hopefully. I've also resolved to do an open mic night before Christmas.
And I'm really lucky to be having a good job doing good work even if it's not what I planned on. I work with great people, and have made some great friends. There are so many cool people in my life these days and I'm in awe of most of them. (Hopefully they will be in awe of my cooking when they all come over for Thanksgiving). But I'm really looking forward to spending some time with my family this Christmas...I miss them!
And I'll leave you with a little shot I call "Irony in London". Can you spot it? (you may need to zoom in from the web album to spot it)
From New Album 04/11/2008 20:24
Send me some comment love! I miss you!
I figured I should fill in the details of my life for those of you who have been asking, since I've been rather bad yet again about posting here. I'm not sure why, really, but perhaps it's due to a slight disconnect I've been feeling in general.
Anyway, here's some of the tidbits about my life (these days, a lot of my life is about these kids I work with, so there's a lot about the kids here):
For this term, I've been asked to teach an autism class of seven kids between 11 and 14. All of them are non-verbal, and it's been a really interesting but hard job. I get up each day at 5:30, to get out by 6:30, to get to school by 7:40. I spend the day in high gear, managing seven students and four other staff members (some of whom have been stressing me out more than the students!) When the kids go home, I stay for a few more hours working and planning and doing admin stuff. Usually I leave around 6 or 6:30 and get home at about 7:30. I've had to build a class from scratch, setting up new systems and trying to make a class run with kids who have some pretty severe and dangerous behavior issues. It's definitely changed my concept of normal. Here's a brief overview of the kids I work with:
JD: He's probably the most able of the kids. He doesn't speak, but does sign for very basic requests. When he get's upset, however, he will spit at you, kick you, pinch you, hit you, and throw large objects around the room. He has broken windows and destroyed heaters and all sorts of things. Oh yeah, and he also likes to drop trou and eat his poo. But he's also a really sweet kid who really relies on the adults around him. I learned a lot more about him when I met his older brother who is also autistic but verbal, and VERY violent. Compared to his brother, he's really rather easy.
SF: He's really cool. His favorite activity is to bounce a ball with an adult, at a very specific distance and speed. It's rather like a meditation with this kid. But I have several bite marks on me from when he gets upset and throws tantrums. Now that we've gotten a handle on his behavior, though, he's learned that his tantrums don't take him far.
AF: He's a laid back kid whose worse behavior is just dropping his trousers and exposing himself. I think he just does it because he likes the adult interaction when he's told to pull up his pants.
US: This is a boy with autism and Down's Syndrome. He's a really charming kid though...the one most likely to be seen interacting with other kids in the class. Though we do have to spend a great deal of time wiping the poor kid's nose because he has a constant cold.
SS: He's a handsome 12 year old who looks and acts 15 sometimes. He loves the ladies and is often draping himself on the women he likes. But when something bothers him, he throws a tantrum like a 3 year old, kicking and screaming on the floor, biting and pinching anyone who might be near him. He is also the reason we have to keep the door locked in our classroom because he will often just open up and run.
RH: He's also a really sweet kid who mostly seems in his own world till you get to know him. He loves to sing and has this interesting little flirty studmuffin thing going on with the only girl in the class.
MD: The only girl in the class. She's also really sweet and has a lovely voice. She loves being sung to and will often sing back. She can speak just a bit..she has about 3 words that she can use with meaning and everything else is just echoing. But she really has a problem with loud noises...I think it honestly causes her pain to be assaulted by sound and it can really upset her. She also bites really hard and scratches really well. In general, she's the one who hurts people the most. I remember a meme a while back where people were taking photos of themselves in the moment with no edits or makeup. I avoided it because of the two big bloody lines across my face she had given me. I really didn't want to post that.
Anyway, my days are spent managing them and trying to teach them very basic things like how to cope in the world without getting violent. In general, I think it's working, even if it means I often get bruises, bites, and scratches and will usually shower right after work to wash the spit out of my hair. But I've gotten a lot of compliments from people saying that it's amazing how smoothly things are going in that class, and that I have a real knack for working with the difficult kids and figuring out what makes them kick off and dealing with it. What I don't have a knack for is dealing with teaching assistants with fragile egos who don't follow my lead and make my job harder because they'd rather do what they think they should do than get the work done that we're all supposed to do.
But I have to admit that part of me really loves the work. It's just that I miss having a creative life at the moment. I really miss it.
In other news:
I'm still waiting to hear if I got the grant to do a PhD at WAAPA. All of my plans post-December pretty much ride on this. If I get the grant, I'll spend some time at home before heading there in February. If I don't get the grant, I'll spend some time at home and come back here and continue to get my ass kicked by autistic kids probably. And I'll keep looking for more financial aid. I know I really want to do a PhD, but I won't be taking out any more loans to do it. I've got enough on my back paying for my masters. And coming back here to work is mainly it's a financial decision. If I uprooted and moved without a job or situation to go into, it would just end up costing me more. And it's still slightly better to be earning the pound, even if it's weakening.
I've been pretty sick for about a month now. It started with a basic flu and progressed to a cough that wouldn't go away. And not just an annoying hacking cough, but the kind where you can't breathe when laying down. After about four weeks of coughing, I finally went to the doc who told me I've been walking around with mild pneumonia. I've been spending the last few days confined couch or bed with only my laptop and tv for company mainly.
Normally, I'm not too bothered when I get sick and I'd like to think I'm pretty tough, but this one has been wearing me down. I finally hit a low point when I was sitting by myself in my flat, unable to make myself a cup of tea. I just couldn't do it. I just wanted to call someone and cry, but I couldn't think of anyone to call. This is the hard part about being out here. I've got some really good friends, but at the same time, I'm still on my own for most of this stuff. It can wear ya down a bit. But it's temporary. Hopefully the horse strength antibiotics will do the trick and I can get back out there where I won't feel so on my own.
But other than that, life goes on and isn't that bad really. I've been getting to some good music events and soon will be able to perform in them too hopefully. I've also resolved to do an open mic night before Christmas.
And I'm really lucky to be having a good job doing good work even if it's not what I planned on. I work with great people, and have made some great friends. There are so many cool people in my life these days and I'm in awe of most of them. (Hopefully they will be in awe of my cooking when they all come over for Thanksgiving). But I'm really looking forward to spending some time with my family this Christmas...I miss them!
And I'll leave you with a little shot I call "Irony in London". Can you spot it? (you may need to zoom in from the web album to spot it)
From New Album 04/11/2008 20:24
Send me some comment love! I miss you!