MST. Duh.
Having gotten the bad fluffslash out of the way, let us now take a moment to contemplate bad Deceptiporn.
*The theater is, as usual, populated by the regulation three victims snarkers. However, instead of the tri-corned silhouette that previously complimented the wide curved wings and bunny ears, there’s a wiggling sack with a note on it*
Cyclonus: *plucks the note off and reads it out loud while Scourge fusses with the sack’s ties* “I refuse to participated in this particular bit of idiocy, so I have sent a replacement. I have better things to do today. Signed, Lord Galvatron.”
Scourge: Prime?
Cyclonus: *sighs resignedly* Yes, Scourge, things to do such as the Prime.
Scourge: No, I mean it’s actually Prime. *finally manages to undo the ties, revealing a familiar tangle of red and orange*
Rodimus: *wriggles out of the sack, looking extremely confused* Um…where am I?
Cyclonus: The Pit, metaphorically speaking. I suppose at least we won’t have to duck cannon blasts this time.
Scourge: On the downside, no emergency escape threesomes.
*the lights go down, the fic goes up, and Roddy settles down in his seat to figure out what the heck is going on*
FIRST ENCOUNTERS (PART 1) MINDWARP AND CYCLONUS
Cyclonus: This whole blasted thing is a mindwarp, and it hasn’t even begun yet.
Scourge: Maybe they mean Mindwipe and it’s a crack pairing fic..
by Moonshadow
Cyclonus: Not a promising name at all.
FIRST ENCOUNTERS (PART 1) MINDWARP AND CYCLONUS
Scourge: You just said that.
Rodimus: She doesn’t have to yell it…
I fasten the remaining latch on one of the Autobot prisoners I have been assigned to interrogate and then adjust the voltage regulator on the shock table I have placed him on.
Roddy: I don’t like how this is starting.
Scourge: *to Roddy* It’ll get far worse, Prime. Just wait. *but he considers, stroking his beard thoughtfully* Maybe it’s from Cyclonus’ perspective. If it is, it’s a promising beginning.
Cyclonus: My sentence structures are not that awkward.
I really need to concentrate on the task at hand, but it's so difficult. All I can think of is Cyclonus and how much I want to be with him.
Scourge: Nope, Sue.
Roddy: *confused* I thought Cyclonus was in charge of interrogations.
Cyclonus: I am. A typical Sue technique is to mirror an ability of the intended victim, but do it better. Oddly enough, she seems to have picked my torture skills as opposed to fighting or flying.
Scourge: Or getting “piloted” by Galvatron.
Rodimus: What makes you think it’s a Sue?
In fact, he's all I've been able to think about since the first time I saw him on Arena, where I was Chief Torturer. (He wants to be with me, too, but he just doesn't know it yet.)
Cyclonus: That does.
Roddy: …oh.
Cyclonus: Besides, I wasn’t aware arenas needed a torturer at all, let alone more than one. Gladiators don’t generally have any information needing extraction.
Scourge: At least someone else is the intended rapist this time besides me. *grumbles to himself, sinking back in his seat*
Roddy: *sideways glance at the both of them* I’m not quite sure I want to ask.
I can feel the tingling warmth beginning to build between my legs and a soft whimper escapes my lips.
Scourge: Her crotch is going critical! Run!
I think about last night when I cornered him in one of the lifts.
Scourge: Primacron’s Witnesses always try to get you in a place where you can’t easily make an excuse and leave. Fortunately, we carry guns.
He was unsure, but I quickly changed his mind when I backed him up against the wall... and began kissing him like there was no tomorrow.
Cyclonus: … *folds his arms firmly* Changed my mind to tear her apart instead of simply shooting her in the chest, I imagine.
Scourge: I think there would be no tomorrow if she was stupid enough to do that.
And I know he was beginning to respond because I could feel the pressure from his growing erection building underneath his codpiece.
Cyclonus: Erect what? I’m building a tower in the lift?
Scourge: *puts one hand to his forehead and groans* This is going to be one of those fics, isn’t it? Damnit.
Rodimus: What ‘those fics’? *starting to panic a bit*
Scourge: Just hold on to your spoiler and keep your umbrella handy, Prime. You’ll find out.
Suddenly, I gasp as I realize my fingers are working feverishly in and out of my overheated interface.
Scourge: *as if writing something down on a pad* And how long have your limbs been moving without your control?
Rodimus: Why would you put your fingers up there? You’d damage the connection port.
I look briefly over my shoulder and notice the prisoner's eyes are wide with amazement, but I'm only mildlyembarrassed. Let him look...I really don't care.
Rodimus: But we do. Please stop.
Scourge: Must be one of those new technoorganics, if it has eyes.
Thinking back once more, I remember how I felt with Cyc's arms around me...
Scourge: *in a swoonworthy voice* Crushing my armor, ripping apart my chest and tearing open my laser core…
He was touching me everywhere as I was touching him. It was pure heaven... until the lift doors opened and who should be standing there but Cyclonus' brother Scourge...
Scourge: I’m his what?
Rodimus: You guys are incestuous now?
Cyclonus: I’m assuming she needed a convoluted reason to have him out of the way. The issue of Galvatron, on the other hand, seems to have not been addressed at all and I’m not sure whether or not that’s a bad thing. At least he’s being spared this indignity.
Talk about ruining the mood. Cyclonus, looking quite mortified, rushed from the lift and probably headed for the nearest corner to beat off.
Cyclonus: Beat off the fangirls, I assume-why are the both of you snickering?
Scourge: *smirks* Cyclonus, that’s slang for masturbation.
Cyclonus: Oh, for…*puts his face in his hand*
Rodimus: I think I’m starting to see what you mean by ‘that kind of fic’.
I can just imagine his hands working up and down his cord's entire length... precum oozing from the tip... until...
Rodimus: Um… *O_O*
Cyclonus: *to Scourge* Please tell me precum is simply a term for some sort of completely sane and normal excess fluid that needs to be removed from a sane and normal mech’s system every once in a while.
Scourge: …something like that, yes.
I scream and come with such force that I lose my balance and bang into the control panel, upsetting the voltage regulatorand literally frying the prisoner to a crisp.
Cyclonus: *irate gesturing!* This is a “Chief Torturer”? She loses her focus in the throes of a sexual fantasy during an interrogation session, shows both weakness and a lack of control by masturbating in front of the subject, and then accidentally kills him by running into an insecure and overly sensitive control panel that for some illogical reason actually has a level high enough to set the subject on fire! What is wrong with this person?!
Rodimus: Feeling better now?
Cyclonus: *sulks* No.
"OOPS!" I say with lubricant dripping off my fingers and running down the inside of boththighs.
Scourge: You know, they never actually say where the lubricant comes from or why they never run out of it. Do Sues just stock up on fluids regularly for instances just like this?
Rodimus: And why’s she screaming ‘oops’ as opposed to just saying it?
" I blew that one. Better get rid of him..."
Scourge: I think she’s saving that privilege for Cyclonus, actually.
I wait a few minutes in order to regain my composure and allow the body to cool somewhat, then carry him to a large aquarium just outside my chamber door.
Scourge: Yes, nothing adds to the ambiance of a torture chamber like a decorative aquarium. And possibly a fern or two.
Rodimus: But is it a rapping aquarium?
After dumping him in, my little mechapiranah make short work of him... leaving no trace.
Rodimus: Isn’t someone eventually going to notice the prisoner’s gone?
Cyclonus: Or wonder why there’s a mechapiranah tank out there in the first place?
Scourge: What are mechapiranah, anyway? Another poor excuse at making something organic “Transformery” by adding ‘mecha’ on the front?
I can still feel the fire between my legs...
Rodimus: *wince* Sounds painful. She should get that looked at.
Scourge: This is why you always use a firewall outside of relationships with people you know and trust. Abstinence-only sex education does not help our Sueish youth.
Even after the explosive orgasm I just had... it still won't go away. Damn!...
Cyclonus: She’s got some very unstable nethers on her, doesn’t she?
There has got to be some way I can trick Cyclonus into coming here!
Scourge: Mimic Galvatron’s voice and tell him to meet you in the interrogation room. That’s worked at least once.
A few minutes later, I hatch an idea.
Scourge: You haven’t slept together once and already she’s laying eggs. Wonderful.
Via internalcom, I contact Cyclonus and speak to him using my most appealing, helpless tone.
Cyclonus: And this will attract me…how?
Rodimus: I thought Decepticons liked helpless targets.
Cyclonus: For killing, yes. Not for strange sexual relations.
Rodimus: Says you.
"Cyclonus... please.
Scourge: ‘Could you reach that socket on the top shelf? I’m such a fool that I forgot I can fly.’
Will you help me with this prisoner. He's giving me nothing but trouble... "
Cyclonus: You’re the “Chief Torturer”, deal with it! And you’ve only been down there five minutes, anyway.
I tell him and for a minute, I hear nothing but dead air.
Scourge: Hrm. Dead End’s more talkative sister must be in town.
I hope that doesn't mean anything. Then...
Cyclonus: I sent Vortex down to torture the both of them while I attended to matters that were actually important.
"Very well, Mindwarp..." replies Cyc, almost annoyed. "But no little tricks like the one lastnight..."
Rodimus: It took me forever to clean out all that silly string.
"Moi? Perish the thought..." I tell him but then whisper after breaking off the connection."...not..."
Rodimus: *deadpan* Hah hah. She is so clever. All worship the sex Sue.
Time passes very slowly and the anticipation builds with such pressure, that I fear I may have to remedy my problem myself.
Scourge: Correct me if my stickyfic research is wrong, but isn’t it Cyclonus who would be having the ‘pressure’ issues?
Thankfully, before that happens, I hear a tone at my doorwaysignal the arrival of Cyclonus.
Cyclonus: And the enormous explosion signaling the arrival of Galvatron.
Rodimus: And the jazz instrumental signaling the arrival of James Bond. *is starting to get into this now*
"Enter..." I say in a way as not to appear too anxious. Cyclonus walks in and of all things... he has Scourge with him.
Scourge: It involves Cyclonus and a torture chamber, of course I’m going to be there.
Damn it! I don't need Scourge...
Scourge: *mock sob* Nobody wants me to get laid, do they?
Rodimus: Erm…actually, there was this one thing I found on a certain website…*hands over the Magically Appearing Laptop*
Scourge: *clickclickreads* *a slow expression of horror begins to creep over his face* …what? I have barbs where? And with a magic puma? And she’s…and there were cubs? How is that even physically…and why are the Sweeps…no. Just…no.
Rodimus: *pats his back reassuringly as Scourge slides down in his chair and whimpers*
Cyclonus: *quietly snickering to himself, because at least he’s not alone in this*
I need Cyclonus...right between my legs...
Scourge: Get in line, author insert.
Rodimus: Just between her legs. Nowhere else, though.
But that won't be happening until I can get him to leave. "Oh Scourge?"
Rodimus: “I made cookies!”
I speak in a voice only loud enough to get my unwanted guest's attention and show him mydispleasure
Cyclonus: I’m ten feet away, I’m probably going to notice whatever she’s doing anyway. This is not the best of plans.
by glaring and then giving him a close-up view of my lengtheningclaws.
Scourge: *eyes his own claws and grins* Compensating for something, is she?
Rodimus: Maybe she’s trying to hit on you.
He gets themessage immediately.
Rodimus: Right, I need to pick up milk and Doritos the next time I go to the shop. Got it.
"Uhhh... I think you can take care of this situation by yourself, Cyclonus. You don't need me..." he says nervously and then backs out through the door.
Scourge: …oh come on! If I’m not a rapist, I’m a coward who gets nervous around a single person who I outrank and possibly outpower while one of the greatest Decepticon warriors is in the same room as I am.
Cyclonus: *can’t hold back a slight chuckle* Or you’re barbed.
"Wait, Scourge... where..." he shouts at his brother. "Alright, Mindwarp... Just where is thisproblem prisoner of yours?"
Roddy: You’re looking at her.
"Ohhh... I took care of him myself..." I reply slyly.
Cyclonus: Right, then. I’ll just finish this write-up on how you destroyed a valuable prisoner before gleaning any information from them, thereby increasing the wrath of Prime even more and losing us a potential hostage for future dealings. Would you prefer your remains used as a doorstop or a paperweight?
Rodimus: Koi Lungfish said you guys don’t do paperwork.
Scourge: We’ll make some, then. Just for her.
"You what?" he questions, but before he can turn to look my way, I jab a syringe full of destimulant into his neck and inject the entire contents into his system.
Rodimus: A destim…she means a tranquilizer, doesn’t she? I’ve never even heard of a destimulant.
Cyclonus: And it’s assault on an officer now, too. She just keeps digging herself deeper.
He manages to turn my way and the look on his face is one of total confusion. "What... have... you done... to..."
Scourge: My DVDs? I had them organized in perfect order by genre and now you’ve ruined it.
His steps begin to falter and suddenly he drops to his knees before finally falling forward...
Cyclonus: How she could possibly justify drugging and detaining a commanding officer is beyond my reasoning.
Scourge: Personally, I’d love to see her explain it to Galvatron. Very amusing.
"Stay a while, Cyclonus..." I say to his unconscious form. I lock the door to the interrogation chamber and then strip down completely...
Scourge: Paint stripper kink? Interesting.
I want nothing touching my skin except Cyclonus,himself.
Rodimus: Everyone else was too clumsy and would probably tear it.
After rolling him over onto his back, I tap a button and disengage thesymbiotic connection between him and his armor and then gently remove his helmet...
Rodimus: Doesn’t symbolic imply his armor is actually alive? Ew.
Cyclonus: *scratches at his arm awkwardly*
Scourge: Headmasters, Targetmasters, and now Bodymasters.
A headful of long, burgundy hair falls from its hiding place underneath.
Cyclonus: …what? Hair? What need do I have for hair? Where would I even put it?
Scourge: And burgundy now? Wonder what color I’d get for hair, then.
Rodimus: *chuckles* I always saw you as more of a brunette.
The rest of his armor quickly follows suit... but I save the best for last...his codpiece.
Scourge: Cyclonus is a great warrior. It should at least be a troutpiece.
Rodimus: Really? I was thinking a barracudapiece.
Cyclonus: What on Cybertron are you two talking about?
I gently lift this last piece of armor from his form and then stare in wide-eyed amazement.
Rodimus: Cyclonus was secretly a femme. Who knew?
Scourge: That does explain a few things, actually. *beardstroke* He always does love painting my nails.
Cyclonus: *is not going to bother responding to either of them*
His body is covered by a massive tatoo of a phoenix... its head resting at the base of his cord.
Cyclonus: …WHAT?
Rodimus: How can you tattoo metal? It’s…metal. If you put ink under it, no one’s going to see it.
Scourge: And why a mythical Earth beast? Why not a Decepticon insignia or symbolic glyphs, or ‘Galvatron was here’? *is not quite fast enough to duck the punch this time and rebounds off the next chair* …ow.
And what a cord it is.
Rodimus: Which one? He’s a robot, he’s got tons of cords.
Even in its limp state, it's magnificent ... and even more than I had hoped for.
Scourge: She probably has to get off by immersing herself in boxes of spare parts, if this is anything to go by.
I want to touch it...but that'll have to wait until I get him strapped down onto 'the X'.
Rodimus: And now she’s stealing your bondage schtick.
Cyclonus: *narrowing of the optics* …and exactly how do you know so much about my private life, Prime?
Rodimus: I lurk around the right message boards.
Scourge: *is going to sit over here and twiddle his claws, la de da*
Lifting him is a bit awkward at first but after a few minutes of manuevering... I have him right where I want him... strapped down and completely at my mercy.
Cyclonus: Until he wakes up and rips your head off your shoulders.
Scourge: Note to the Sue. Cyclonus only gets off on torture if he wants it.
After adjusting the table into a more vertical position, I stare at him for a few moments and contemplate how to wake him.
Scourge: Hold a scorched bit of metal under his nose. The scent of battle wakes up any Decepticon.
Cyclonus: Except an Insection. They’ll eat it and go right back to sleep.
Rodimus: Um, guys…er…*both turn to him with expressions that seem to say ‘we’re in a theater mocking a fanfiction, don’t trouble us with continuity*
I know just the method... Holding his cord in my hand, I begin to stroke him...slowly at first and then building up speed.
Scourge: Right now this is all starting to sound like some sort of twisted experimental massage technique.
Rodimus: She’ll be here all night if she’s going for all your cords.
After that, I can hear his simulatedbreathing begin to quicken.
Rodimus: If he’s asleep, how can he pretend to breath?
"Wakie, wakie Cyclonus my love... Object of my lust... Open those lovely amber optics of yours..."
Cyclonus: I’m starting to feel ill.
Rodimus: *leans over to peer at Cyclonus’ face* His optics are red, not amber. Maybe she painted over them when she installed eyelids.
I say softly. Abruptly Cyclonus' eyes pop open and he gasps loudly.
Scourge: That sounds rather painful. You should take better care of your eyes, Cyclonus.
Cyclonus: They do have a tendency to pop if you squeeze the head too hard, I will admit.
Rodimus: *sticks his tongue out and makes a ‘yuch’ face*
I lean heavilyagainst him and his entire body begins to tremble...
Cyclonus: With rage.
When I suddenly cease my ministrations, Cyclonus looks at me dumbfounded.
Scourge: I’ll agree on the dumbfounded bit, at least.
Rodimus: Seconded.
"Why did you stop?" he gasps as he peers out from beneath burgundy locks.
Scourge: Autobots and Decepticons, we have officially reached the point of Cyclonian OOC. It’s all downhill from here.
Cyclonus: Straight down into the smelter.
"I have something better in mind..." I say softly and push the hair from his face. After gazing into his eyes for a time, I slip my tongue between his lips and kiss him sensually.
Cyclonus: Bite it off!
Rodimus: Can’t be too pleasant of a sight, his eyes are a popped squishy mess now.
Next, I nip my way playfully from his neck down to his nipples and then to his...
Rodimus: …nipples? I know Wreck-Gar’s got those chest guns, but that’s a little different.
Scourge: Could she just come out and say ‘penis’ already? If it’s going to be disgusting, it might as well be honest while it’s about it.
Cyclonus' eyes widen when he sees my lips preparing to wrap around his body-gun
Cyclonus: I don’t actually have an attached gun in root mode, it’s handheld.
Scourge: She seems to have it fairly well in hand, yes.
. I pause for a second and gaze up at him. " Just relax... and enjoy it."
Cyclonus: That is not physically impossible. I am loathing this with every atom of my being.
I immediately swallow him whole then begin to suck with great vigor
Scourge: While I realize that in the right lighting Cyclonus may appear to be the same color as thick energon, that does not mean you should eat him.
Rodimus: Unless you’re Galvatron.
Cyclonus: *through gritted teeth* You are not. Helping. *two of them now, ye gods*
... pausing now and again to tickle the head of his member with my tongue.
Rodimus: Member of what, the neighborhood watch?
Scourge: She’s got quite the organic fetish on her. First eyes, now tongue, the next thing you know she’ll be tying him up with intestines.
It isn't long before he begins to thrust against my face.
Cyclonus: At least my twisted alter self is making some attempt at escape now.
Scourge: Not…exactly.
Now I can taste him...The sweetness of his nectar is almost intoxicating in its effect on me.
Cyclonus: These descriptions are horrendous.
Rodimus: I didn’t know Cyclonus counted as an alcoholic substance.
Scourge: Yep. It’s illegal to sell him on some planets.
I'm so bleary-eyed with lust at this point that I can barely see the expression on his face but I can tell by his groaning that it won't be long before he blows his load.
Rodimus: Load of party blowers, that is. It was Motormaster’s birthday next week.
Scourge: *makes note to use ‘delivery of cargo load’ as an innuendo at some point*
His rhythm increases in speed and force as his moans increase in volume. Suddenly, Cyclonus clenches his jaw, grinding his teeth together tightly.
Scourge: *counts on his fingers* Get some kidneys and a nose and we might have most of a full human.
He tosses head back and forth and the sounds coming from deep within him grow more animalistic as the seconds pass...
Rodimus: Specifically, a waterbuffalo.
Scourge: But whose head is he tossing?
His hands become fists and the muscle cables in his arms tighten so much they threaten to tear through his metallic skin.
Rodimus: Firstly, it’s not actually skin in any sense of the word. Secondly, ow.
He must be closer than I thought...
Scourge: You’ve got your face in his crotch, I don’t think he can get closer than that without tearing apart your body and wearing it like a suit of clothes.
Cyclonus: Now there’s a lovely thought…
Cyclonus' thrustings become much slower, but more forceful and after one final thrust, his body stiffens.
Cyclonus: And springs for her throat?
Scourge: Thought he was stiff already…
He throws his head back and with a roar like a cyber-lion in triumph...
Scourge: And again an example of ‘I can have whatever I want as long as I put a robot sounding prefix on it’. Couldn’t she just say ‘like Steeljaw’?
he fires off shot after shot of the nectar of life...
Rodimus: He’s shooting energon out of his…um…
Scourge: *has the Magically Appearing Laptop on his lap again* Robowang. *his companions turn to him and give him a pair of very disturbed gazes. Scourge shrugs and points at the screen* I can keep this up for days. Not saying I want to, but I can.
So much that I'm barely able to swallow it all.
Cyclonus: And speaking of things I’m finding hard to swallow…
I wipe the dribbles from around my mouth and chin and then stand. After pushing the burgundy locks from his face once more... I simply kiss him on his mouth and to my amazement, I find him eager to return the gesture.
Scourge: Bite her lips off!
His kiss is powerful and full of passion of the kind I never expected... I shudder as I realize another gush of liquid is pouring from my interface...
Rodimus: I’m not a medic, but I’m pretty sure there’s no big reservoir of fluid down there that comes out for no good reason. At some point she’s gonna run out.
Scourge: Better question. Exactly how does someone refill it when they hit empty?
In fact, to my shock...there's a puddle on the floor beneath me.
Cyclonus: Now if she’ll just bump into the controls again, we might be lucky enough to see her electrocuted.
"You know, Mindwarp... you didn't have to go to all this trouble to get me here... " Cyclonustells me... "You could have just asked..."
Cyclonus: And we wouldn’t have to bother with this sex business. I could have shot you on sight and saved us both some time.
"Asked you?... The way you were running from the scene last night? Show me..." I tell him.
Scourge: *pridefully* Ran from the scene with Scourge, I might add. Shows a bit of a preference there.
"I'll be glad to... if you'll just let me loose..." Cyclonus replies. In a matter of seconds, I disengage his restraints and he drops to the floor. He walks up to me with fire in his eyes.
Scourge: Maybe it was all a ploy to make her release him. And now comes the rage!
He presses his nakedness against mine and I can feel his body-gun beginning to awaken once again.
Cyclonus: Shoot her!
Scourge: That kind of gun doesn’t shoot bullets, Cyc.
My body is tingling and my core feels as if it's at the melting point.
Rodimus: Warning! Warning! Sue has reached critical mass!
I lead him into my inner chamber, to my bed, and pull him down on top of me.
Scourge: Is ‘inner chamber’ supposed to be a euphemism or literal? I can barely tell anymore.
Rodimus: I’ve heard of being devoted to your work, but who has their bedroom right next to the torture chamber? Sheesh.
As we kiss, I can feel his hand exploring my body, lower and lower, until he reaches my over-heated interface.
Rodimus: He began to reconsider when his fingers started melting off.
He strokes the bud for a while before finally plunging several fingers between the folds and then as deep as they'll go.
Scourge: Bud, necter…is this an AU where everyone is a flower?
I cry out and for now, Cyclonus just watches my reactions to his ministrations.
Rodimus: Waiting for her attention to waver for a bare moment so he could escape her evil mind control scheme and alert the other Decepticons.
I'm going crazy... bleary-eyed again... and I hump his hand furiously. My whole body trembles as he continues to bring me toward my climax.
Cyclonus: I’m fairly certain she was crazy to begin with.
He leans forward, kissing my face, my throat, my breasts...and pulling on my nipples with his teeth
Scourge: And we’re back to the organic fetish again.
Rodimus: I wonder how she manages keeping an entire set of human parts in her drawer just for people to nibble on during sex.
until I can stand no more.
Cyclonus: For once, we are in agreement.
I shriek and thrash about as an orgasm overtakes my entire body. My inner cables clench around his fingers and refuse to release them...
Cyclonus: Cables don’t work that way!
Scourge: I’m failing to see the erotic appeal to having his hand stuck up in there because your nethers are malfunctioning.
Rodimus: Be pretty awkward to explain to the Constructicons, too.
Cyclonus, zealously continues to stroke my inflamed bud and seconds later, I can feel another wave overtaking me even before the first has subsided...
Rodimus: Looking at this literally…Cyclonus is attempting to put out her burning flower, and the waves of water continue to wash over her even after the fire has been put out.
Scourge: Still not seeing the sexy. You get some pretty weird sex scenes, Cyc.
Cyclonus: *grumpily* Says the mech with barbs. *and can’t help grinning as Scourge flails and sputters in his direction*
And then another.
Rodimus: And then they had a lunch break.
With the fourth one, however, he does something different.
Scourge: Now he wants to wear her lingerie.
He brings me to the verge, but before I can go completely over the top, he brings my legs up over his shoulders...
Cyclonus: And breaks her in half.
and drives his rock-hard erection as far into my core as he can.
Scourge: Interesting method of execution, but whatever works.
I scream and then sob as I come and continue to soak my bedding with lubricant.
Rodimus: Nobody’s got that much expendable lubricant.
Cyclonus: She’s cracked a fuel line open and is slowly bleeding to death.
As Cyclonus thrusts between my legs, I can feel yet another orgasm building... This time I'm determined that we're coming together
Scourge: Coming where?
Rodimus: To a theater near you.
and I fight it off until I can feel Cyclonus tensing up.
Cyclonus: Just kill her already, she’s completely vulnerable!
Scourge: Switch death with getting laid and you see why I get so frustrated in these things.
Rodimus: What about the one with the magic puma and the barbs?
Scourge: Would you shut up about the cursed barbs!
I can hear his groaning, see his teeth clenching and feel his body begin to tremble violently. One more thrust and I can feel his cord begin to throb with heat.
Scourge: It’s been up in her nuclear reactor for a good while, of course it’s gotten heated.
He screams..."Yes... Yessss... NOWWWWWWWWWW !!!!!!"
Cyclonus: *is practically bent double in his seat now, trying to pretend that none of this exists*
Rodimus: *boggling and speechless now*
Scourge: …y’know, if we could somehow make extra consonants and punctuation into energon we’d have a pretty steady energy supply just from this one sentence. I’ll have to mention the idea to Hook.
His seed, full of life-essence, pours into my core, setting me off for a fifth time...
Scourge: Cyclonus, second in command and Decepticon gardener.
My claws tear at his shoulders as my inner cables milk him dry.
Scourge: And, apparently, a cow. @_@
Rodimus: *blech* Really didn’t need that image, Scourge.
Once we untangle ourselves from one another,
Cyclonus: This is why we don’t have hair. Things like this only happen to organics.
we kiss and fall into a deep state of recharge... happily exhausted...
Rodimus: …right there, completely naked and hair all tangled and the bedding soaked in Primus-knows-what so they’ll probably be half-rusted in the morning?
Scourge: Honestly, give me fifteen minutes and an engineer’s textbook and I could write this five times better. And it would have me in it instead of her and that would make it six times better.
Rodimus: So where do I fit into all of this?
Cyclonus: You can be the towel boy.
and knowing that wewill have a very interesting future to fulfill together...
Cyclonus: Until he came to and handed her over to Vortex for torture. Then borrowed a few tools and did it himself. The execution was carried out a month later.
Scourge: *patpat* Whatever makes the suicidal urges go away.
" TOTAL SURRENDER IN THE DARK
NO TURNIN' BACK THAT NIGHT
TOTAL SURRENDER OF THE HEART
THERE WAS NO WRONG OR RIGHT... "
(S. Bush, W. Cook)
Scourge: Because no badfic is complete without completely random lyrics that have nothing to do with the story.
Cyclonus: No, there is definitely a ‘wrong’ here. This entire thing is wrong.
Finis...?
Cyclonus: Please.
Scourge: I’m not going to complain about a lack of graphic sex in a fic ever, ever again.
Rodimus: But it said this was ‘part one’. Does that mean--*is quickly silenced as two Unicronian hands are clapped over his mouth*
Scourge: *hissing* Don’t encourage it!
*The theater door opens…well, not so much opens as flies off its hinges with a crash and a puff of smoke as a rather familiar orange cannon pokes through the newly-made hole*
Galvatron: *looks in and smirks* Are you three quite finished in there?
Cyclonus: *freedom!* *practically dives from his seat towards the opening*
Rodimus: *as he and Scourge get up* How do you manage to keep mocking it like that without cracking?
Scourge: Because I’m a professional. *grins and folds his arms* I’ve seen enough that nothing can truly disturb me.
Rodimus: Nothing?
Scourge: Nothing.
Rodimus: So the barbs don’t bother you at all?
*and if he wasn’t a Prime he might be giggling as Scourge chases him out of the theater*
*The theater is, as usual, populated by the regulation three victims snarkers. However, instead of the tri-corned silhouette that previously complimented the wide curved wings and bunny ears, there’s a wiggling sack with a note on it*
Cyclonus: *plucks the note off and reads it out loud while Scourge fusses with the sack’s ties* “I refuse to participated in this particular bit of idiocy, so I have sent a replacement. I have better things to do today. Signed, Lord Galvatron.”
Scourge: Prime?
Cyclonus: *sighs resignedly* Yes, Scourge, things to do such as the Prime.
Scourge: No, I mean it’s actually Prime. *finally manages to undo the ties, revealing a familiar tangle of red and orange*
Rodimus: *wriggles out of the sack, looking extremely confused* Um…where am I?
Cyclonus: The Pit, metaphorically speaking. I suppose at least we won’t have to duck cannon blasts this time.
Scourge: On the downside, no emergency escape threesomes.
*the lights go down, the fic goes up, and Roddy settles down in his seat to figure out what the heck is going on*
FIRST ENCOUNTERS (PART 1) MINDWARP AND CYCLONUS
Cyclonus: This whole blasted thing is a mindwarp, and it hasn’t even begun yet.
Scourge: Maybe they mean Mindwipe and it’s a crack pairing fic..
by Moonshadow
Cyclonus: Not a promising name at all.
FIRST ENCOUNTERS (PART 1) MINDWARP AND CYCLONUS
Scourge: You just said that.
Rodimus: She doesn’t have to yell it…
I fasten the remaining latch on one of the Autobot prisoners I have been assigned to interrogate and then adjust the voltage regulator on the shock table I have placed him on.
Roddy: I don’t like how this is starting.
Scourge: *to Roddy* It’ll get far worse, Prime. Just wait. *but he considers, stroking his beard thoughtfully* Maybe it’s from Cyclonus’ perspective. If it is, it’s a promising beginning.
Cyclonus: My sentence structures are not that awkward.
I really need to concentrate on the task at hand, but it's so difficult. All I can think of is Cyclonus and how much I want to be with him.
Scourge: Nope, Sue.
Roddy: *confused* I thought Cyclonus was in charge of interrogations.
Cyclonus: I am. A typical Sue technique is to mirror an ability of the intended victim, but do it better. Oddly enough, she seems to have picked my torture skills as opposed to fighting or flying.
Scourge: Or getting “piloted” by Galvatron.
Rodimus: What makes you think it’s a Sue?
In fact, he's all I've been able to think about since the first time I saw him on Arena, where I was Chief Torturer. (He wants to be with me, too, but he just doesn't know it yet.)
Cyclonus: That does.
Roddy: …oh.
Cyclonus: Besides, I wasn’t aware arenas needed a torturer at all, let alone more than one. Gladiators don’t generally have any information needing extraction.
Scourge: At least someone else is the intended rapist this time besides me. *grumbles to himself, sinking back in his seat*
Roddy: *sideways glance at the both of them* I’m not quite sure I want to ask.
I can feel the tingling warmth beginning to build between my legs and a soft whimper escapes my lips.
Scourge: Her crotch is going critical! Run!
I think about last night when I cornered him in one of the lifts.
Scourge: Primacron’s Witnesses always try to get you in a place where you can’t easily make an excuse and leave. Fortunately, we carry guns.
He was unsure, but I quickly changed his mind when I backed him up against the wall... and began kissing him like there was no tomorrow.
Cyclonus: … *folds his arms firmly* Changed my mind to tear her apart instead of simply shooting her in the chest, I imagine.
Scourge: I think there would be no tomorrow if she was stupid enough to do that.
And I know he was beginning to respond because I could feel the pressure from his growing erection building underneath his codpiece.
Cyclonus: Erect what? I’m building a tower in the lift?
Scourge: *puts one hand to his forehead and groans* This is going to be one of those fics, isn’t it? Damnit.
Rodimus: What ‘those fics’? *starting to panic a bit*
Scourge: Just hold on to your spoiler and keep your umbrella handy, Prime. You’ll find out.
Suddenly, I gasp as I realize my fingers are working feverishly in and out of my overheated interface.
Scourge: *as if writing something down on a pad* And how long have your limbs been moving without your control?
Rodimus: Why would you put your fingers up there? You’d damage the connection port.
I look briefly over my shoulder and notice the prisoner's eyes are wide with amazement, but I'm only mildlyembarrassed. Let him look...I really don't care.
Rodimus: But we do. Please stop.
Scourge: Must be one of those new technoorganics, if it has eyes.
Thinking back once more, I remember how I felt with Cyc's arms around me...
Scourge: *in a swoonworthy voice* Crushing my armor, ripping apart my chest and tearing open my laser core…
He was touching me everywhere as I was touching him. It was pure heaven... until the lift doors opened and who should be standing there but Cyclonus' brother Scourge...
Scourge: I’m his what?
Rodimus: You guys are incestuous now?
Cyclonus: I’m assuming she needed a convoluted reason to have him out of the way. The issue of Galvatron, on the other hand, seems to have not been addressed at all and I’m not sure whether or not that’s a bad thing. At least he’s being spared this indignity.
Talk about ruining the mood. Cyclonus, looking quite mortified, rushed from the lift and probably headed for the nearest corner to beat off.
Cyclonus: Beat off the fangirls, I assume-why are the both of you snickering?
Scourge: *smirks* Cyclonus, that’s slang for masturbation.
Cyclonus: Oh, for…*puts his face in his hand*
Rodimus: I think I’m starting to see what you mean by ‘that kind of fic’.
I can just imagine his hands working up and down his cord's entire length... precum oozing from the tip... until...
Rodimus: Um… *O_O*
Cyclonus: *to Scourge* Please tell me precum is simply a term for some sort of completely sane and normal excess fluid that needs to be removed from a sane and normal mech’s system every once in a while.
Scourge: …something like that, yes.
I scream and come with such force that I lose my balance and bang into the control panel, upsetting the voltage regulatorand literally frying the prisoner to a crisp.
Cyclonus: *irate gesturing!* This is a “Chief Torturer”? She loses her focus in the throes of a sexual fantasy during an interrogation session, shows both weakness and a lack of control by masturbating in front of the subject, and then accidentally kills him by running into an insecure and overly sensitive control panel that for some illogical reason actually has a level high enough to set the subject on fire! What is wrong with this person?!
Rodimus: Feeling better now?
Cyclonus: *sulks* No.
"OOPS!" I say with lubricant dripping off my fingers and running down the inside of boththighs.
Scourge: You know, they never actually say where the lubricant comes from or why they never run out of it. Do Sues just stock up on fluids regularly for instances just like this?
Rodimus: And why’s she screaming ‘oops’ as opposed to just saying it?
" I blew that one. Better get rid of him..."
Scourge: I think she’s saving that privilege for Cyclonus, actually.
I wait a few minutes in order to regain my composure and allow the body to cool somewhat, then carry him to a large aquarium just outside my chamber door.
Scourge: Yes, nothing adds to the ambiance of a torture chamber like a decorative aquarium. And possibly a fern or two.
Rodimus: But is it a rapping aquarium?
After dumping him in, my little mechapiranah make short work of him... leaving no trace.
Rodimus: Isn’t someone eventually going to notice the prisoner’s gone?
Cyclonus: Or wonder why there’s a mechapiranah tank out there in the first place?
Scourge: What are mechapiranah, anyway? Another poor excuse at making something organic “Transformery” by adding ‘mecha’ on the front?
I can still feel the fire between my legs...
Rodimus: *wince* Sounds painful. She should get that looked at.
Scourge: This is why you always use a firewall outside of relationships with people you know and trust. Abstinence-only sex education does not help our Sueish youth.
Even after the explosive orgasm I just had... it still won't go away. Damn!...
Cyclonus: She’s got some very unstable nethers on her, doesn’t she?
There has got to be some way I can trick Cyclonus into coming here!
Scourge: Mimic Galvatron’s voice and tell him to meet you in the interrogation room. That’s worked at least once.
A few minutes later, I hatch an idea.
Scourge: You haven’t slept together once and already she’s laying eggs. Wonderful.
Via internalcom, I contact Cyclonus and speak to him using my most appealing, helpless tone.
Cyclonus: And this will attract me…how?
Rodimus: I thought Decepticons liked helpless targets.
Cyclonus: For killing, yes. Not for strange sexual relations.
Rodimus: Says you.
"Cyclonus... please.
Scourge: ‘Could you reach that socket on the top shelf? I’m such a fool that I forgot I can fly.’
Will you help me with this prisoner. He's giving me nothing but trouble... "
Cyclonus: You’re the “Chief Torturer”, deal with it! And you’ve only been down there five minutes, anyway.
I tell him and for a minute, I hear nothing but dead air.
Scourge: Hrm. Dead End’s more talkative sister must be in town.
I hope that doesn't mean anything. Then...
Cyclonus: I sent Vortex down to torture the both of them while I attended to matters that were actually important.
"Very well, Mindwarp..." replies Cyc, almost annoyed. "But no little tricks like the one lastnight..."
Rodimus: It took me forever to clean out all that silly string.
"Moi? Perish the thought..." I tell him but then whisper after breaking off the connection."...not..."
Rodimus: *deadpan* Hah hah. She is so clever. All worship the sex Sue.
Time passes very slowly and the anticipation builds with such pressure, that I fear I may have to remedy my problem myself.
Scourge: Correct me if my stickyfic research is wrong, but isn’t it Cyclonus who would be having the ‘pressure’ issues?
Thankfully, before that happens, I hear a tone at my doorwaysignal the arrival of Cyclonus.
Cyclonus: And the enormous explosion signaling the arrival of Galvatron.
Rodimus: And the jazz instrumental signaling the arrival of James Bond. *is starting to get into this now*
"Enter..." I say in a way as not to appear too anxious. Cyclonus walks in and of all things... he has Scourge with him.
Scourge: It involves Cyclonus and a torture chamber, of course I’m going to be there.
Damn it! I don't need Scourge...
Scourge: *mock sob* Nobody wants me to get laid, do they?
Rodimus: Erm…actually, there was this one thing I found on a certain website…*hands over the Magically Appearing Laptop*
Scourge: *clickclickreads* *a slow expression of horror begins to creep over his face* …what? I have barbs where? And with a magic puma? And she’s…and there were cubs? How is that even physically…and why are the Sweeps…no. Just…no.
Rodimus: *pats his back reassuringly as Scourge slides down in his chair and whimpers*
Cyclonus: *quietly snickering to himself, because at least he’s not alone in this*
I need Cyclonus...right between my legs...
Scourge: Get in line, author insert.
Rodimus: Just between her legs. Nowhere else, though.
But that won't be happening until I can get him to leave. "Oh Scourge?"
Rodimus: “I made cookies!”
I speak in a voice only loud enough to get my unwanted guest's attention and show him mydispleasure
Cyclonus: I’m ten feet away, I’m probably going to notice whatever she’s doing anyway. This is not the best of plans.
by glaring and then giving him a close-up view of my lengtheningclaws.
Scourge: *eyes his own claws and grins* Compensating for something, is she?
Rodimus: Maybe she’s trying to hit on you.
He gets themessage immediately.
Rodimus: Right, I need to pick up milk and Doritos the next time I go to the shop. Got it.
"Uhhh... I think you can take care of this situation by yourself, Cyclonus. You don't need me..." he says nervously and then backs out through the door.
Scourge: …oh come on! If I’m not a rapist, I’m a coward who gets nervous around a single person who I outrank and possibly outpower while one of the greatest Decepticon warriors is in the same room as I am.
Cyclonus: *can’t hold back a slight chuckle* Or you’re barbed.
"Wait, Scourge... where..." he shouts at his brother. "Alright, Mindwarp... Just where is thisproblem prisoner of yours?"
Roddy: You’re looking at her.
"Ohhh... I took care of him myself..." I reply slyly.
Cyclonus: Right, then. I’ll just finish this write-up on how you destroyed a valuable prisoner before gleaning any information from them, thereby increasing the wrath of Prime even more and losing us a potential hostage for future dealings. Would you prefer your remains used as a doorstop or a paperweight?
Rodimus: Koi Lungfish said you guys don’t do paperwork.
Scourge: We’ll make some, then. Just for her.
"You what?" he questions, but before he can turn to look my way, I jab a syringe full of destimulant into his neck and inject the entire contents into his system.
Rodimus: A destim…she means a tranquilizer, doesn’t she? I’ve never even heard of a destimulant.
Cyclonus: And it’s assault on an officer now, too. She just keeps digging herself deeper.
He manages to turn my way and the look on his face is one of total confusion. "What... have... you done... to..."
Scourge: My DVDs? I had them organized in perfect order by genre and now you’ve ruined it.
His steps begin to falter and suddenly he drops to his knees before finally falling forward...
Cyclonus: How she could possibly justify drugging and detaining a commanding officer is beyond my reasoning.
Scourge: Personally, I’d love to see her explain it to Galvatron. Very amusing.
"Stay a while, Cyclonus..." I say to his unconscious form. I lock the door to the interrogation chamber and then strip down completely...
Scourge: Paint stripper kink? Interesting.
I want nothing touching my skin except Cyclonus,himself.
Rodimus: Everyone else was too clumsy and would probably tear it.
After rolling him over onto his back, I tap a button and disengage thesymbiotic connection between him and his armor and then gently remove his helmet...
Rodimus: Doesn’t symbolic imply his armor is actually alive? Ew.
Cyclonus: *scratches at his arm awkwardly*
Scourge: Headmasters, Targetmasters, and now Bodymasters.
A headful of long, burgundy hair falls from its hiding place underneath.
Cyclonus: …what? Hair? What need do I have for hair? Where would I even put it?
Scourge: And burgundy now? Wonder what color I’d get for hair, then.
Rodimus: *chuckles* I always saw you as more of a brunette.
The rest of his armor quickly follows suit... but I save the best for last...his codpiece.
Scourge: Cyclonus is a great warrior. It should at least be a troutpiece.
Rodimus: Really? I was thinking a barracudapiece.
Cyclonus: What on Cybertron are you two talking about?
I gently lift this last piece of armor from his form and then stare in wide-eyed amazement.
Rodimus: Cyclonus was secretly a femme. Who knew?
Scourge: That does explain a few things, actually. *beardstroke* He always does love painting my nails.
Cyclonus: *is not going to bother responding to either of them*
His body is covered by a massive tatoo of a phoenix... its head resting at the base of his cord.
Cyclonus: …WHAT?
Rodimus: How can you tattoo metal? It’s…metal. If you put ink under it, no one’s going to see it.
Scourge: And why a mythical Earth beast? Why not a Decepticon insignia or symbolic glyphs, or ‘Galvatron was here’? *is not quite fast enough to duck the punch this time and rebounds off the next chair* …ow.
And what a cord it is.
Rodimus: Which one? He’s a robot, he’s got tons of cords.
Even in its limp state, it's magnificent ... and even more than I had hoped for.
Scourge: She probably has to get off by immersing herself in boxes of spare parts, if this is anything to go by.
I want to touch it...but that'll have to wait until I get him strapped down onto 'the X'.
Rodimus: And now she’s stealing your bondage schtick.
Cyclonus: *narrowing of the optics* …and exactly how do you know so much about my private life, Prime?
Rodimus: I lurk around the right message boards.
Scourge: *is going to sit over here and twiddle his claws, la de da*
Lifting him is a bit awkward at first but after a few minutes of manuevering... I have him right where I want him... strapped down and completely at my mercy.
Cyclonus: Until he wakes up and rips your head off your shoulders.
Scourge: Note to the Sue. Cyclonus only gets off on torture if he wants it.
After adjusting the table into a more vertical position, I stare at him for a few moments and contemplate how to wake him.
Scourge: Hold a scorched bit of metal under his nose. The scent of battle wakes up any Decepticon.
Cyclonus: Except an Insection. They’ll eat it and go right back to sleep.
Rodimus: Um, guys…er…*both turn to him with expressions that seem to say ‘we’re in a theater mocking a fanfiction, don’t trouble us with continuity*
I know just the method... Holding his cord in my hand, I begin to stroke him...slowly at first and then building up speed.
Scourge: Right now this is all starting to sound like some sort of twisted experimental massage technique.
Rodimus: She’ll be here all night if she’s going for all your cords.
After that, I can hear his simulatedbreathing begin to quicken.
Rodimus: If he’s asleep, how can he pretend to breath?
"Wakie, wakie Cyclonus my love... Object of my lust... Open those lovely amber optics of yours..."
Cyclonus: I’m starting to feel ill.
Rodimus: *leans over to peer at Cyclonus’ face* His optics are red, not amber. Maybe she painted over them when she installed eyelids.
I say softly. Abruptly Cyclonus' eyes pop open and he gasps loudly.
Scourge: That sounds rather painful. You should take better care of your eyes, Cyclonus.
Cyclonus: They do have a tendency to pop if you squeeze the head too hard, I will admit.
Rodimus: *sticks his tongue out and makes a ‘yuch’ face*
I lean heavilyagainst him and his entire body begins to tremble...
Cyclonus: With rage.
When I suddenly cease my ministrations, Cyclonus looks at me dumbfounded.
Scourge: I’ll agree on the dumbfounded bit, at least.
Rodimus: Seconded.
"Why did you stop?" he gasps as he peers out from beneath burgundy locks.
Scourge: Autobots and Decepticons, we have officially reached the point of Cyclonian OOC. It’s all downhill from here.
Cyclonus: Straight down into the smelter.
"I have something better in mind..." I say softly and push the hair from his face. After gazing into his eyes for a time, I slip my tongue between his lips and kiss him sensually.
Cyclonus: Bite it off!
Rodimus: Can’t be too pleasant of a sight, his eyes are a popped squishy mess now.
Next, I nip my way playfully from his neck down to his nipples and then to his...
Rodimus: …nipples? I know Wreck-Gar’s got those chest guns, but that’s a little different.
Scourge: Could she just come out and say ‘penis’ already? If it’s going to be disgusting, it might as well be honest while it’s about it.
Cyclonus' eyes widen when he sees my lips preparing to wrap around his body-gun
Cyclonus: I don’t actually have an attached gun in root mode, it’s handheld.
Scourge: She seems to have it fairly well in hand, yes.
. I pause for a second and gaze up at him. " Just relax... and enjoy it."
Cyclonus: That is not physically impossible. I am loathing this with every atom of my being.
I immediately swallow him whole then begin to suck with great vigor
Scourge: While I realize that in the right lighting Cyclonus may appear to be the same color as thick energon, that does not mean you should eat him.
Rodimus: Unless you’re Galvatron.
Cyclonus: *through gritted teeth* You are not. Helping. *two of them now, ye gods*
... pausing now and again to tickle the head of his member with my tongue.
Rodimus: Member of what, the neighborhood watch?
Scourge: She’s got quite the organic fetish on her. First eyes, now tongue, the next thing you know she’ll be tying him up with intestines.
It isn't long before he begins to thrust against my face.
Cyclonus: At least my twisted alter self is making some attempt at escape now.
Scourge: Not…exactly.
Now I can taste him...The sweetness of his nectar is almost intoxicating in its effect on me.
Cyclonus: These descriptions are horrendous.
Rodimus: I didn’t know Cyclonus counted as an alcoholic substance.
Scourge: Yep. It’s illegal to sell him on some planets.
I'm so bleary-eyed with lust at this point that I can barely see the expression on his face but I can tell by his groaning that it won't be long before he blows his load.
Rodimus: Load of party blowers, that is. It was Motormaster’s birthday next week.
Scourge: *makes note to use ‘delivery of cargo load’ as an innuendo at some point*
His rhythm increases in speed and force as his moans increase in volume. Suddenly, Cyclonus clenches his jaw, grinding his teeth together tightly.
Scourge: *counts on his fingers* Get some kidneys and a nose and we might have most of a full human.
He tosses head back and forth and the sounds coming from deep within him grow more animalistic as the seconds pass...
Rodimus: Specifically, a waterbuffalo.
Scourge: But whose head is he tossing?
His hands become fists and the muscle cables in his arms tighten so much they threaten to tear through his metallic skin.
Rodimus: Firstly, it’s not actually skin in any sense of the word. Secondly, ow.
He must be closer than I thought...
Scourge: You’ve got your face in his crotch, I don’t think he can get closer than that without tearing apart your body and wearing it like a suit of clothes.
Cyclonus: Now there’s a lovely thought…
Cyclonus' thrustings become much slower, but more forceful and after one final thrust, his body stiffens.
Cyclonus: And springs for her throat?
Scourge: Thought he was stiff already…
He throws his head back and with a roar like a cyber-lion in triumph...
Scourge: And again an example of ‘I can have whatever I want as long as I put a robot sounding prefix on it’. Couldn’t she just say ‘like Steeljaw’?
he fires off shot after shot of the nectar of life...
Rodimus: He’s shooting energon out of his…um…
Scourge: *has the Magically Appearing Laptop on his lap again* Robowang. *his companions turn to him and give him a pair of very disturbed gazes. Scourge shrugs and points at the screen* I can keep this up for days. Not saying I want to, but I can.
So much that I'm barely able to swallow it all.
Cyclonus: And speaking of things I’m finding hard to swallow…
I wipe the dribbles from around my mouth and chin and then stand. After pushing the burgundy locks from his face once more... I simply kiss him on his mouth and to my amazement, I find him eager to return the gesture.
Scourge: Bite her lips off!
His kiss is powerful and full of passion of the kind I never expected... I shudder as I realize another gush of liquid is pouring from my interface...
Rodimus: I’m not a medic, but I’m pretty sure there’s no big reservoir of fluid down there that comes out for no good reason. At some point she’s gonna run out.
Scourge: Better question. Exactly how does someone refill it when they hit empty?
In fact, to my shock...there's a puddle on the floor beneath me.
Cyclonus: Now if she’ll just bump into the controls again, we might be lucky enough to see her electrocuted.
"You know, Mindwarp... you didn't have to go to all this trouble to get me here... " Cyclonustells me... "You could have just asked..."
Cyclonus: And we wouldn’t have to bother with this sex business. I could have shot you on sight and saved us both some time.
"Asked you?... The way you were running from the scene last night? Show me..." I tell him.
Scourge: *pridefully* Ran from the scene with Scourge, I might add. Shows a bit of a preference there.
"I'll be glad to... if you'll just let me loose..." Cyclonus replies. In a matter of seconds, I disengage his restraints and he drops to the floor. He walks up to me with fire in his eyes.
Scourge: Maybe it was all a ploy to make her release him. And now comes the rage!
He presses his nakedness against mine and I can feel his body-gun beginning to awaken once again.
Cyclonus: Shoot her!
Scourge: That kind of gun doesn’t shoot bullets, Cyc.
My body is tingling and my core feels as if it's at the melting point.
Rodimus: Warning! Warning! Sue has reached critical mass!
I lead him into my inner chamber, to my bed, and pull him down on top of me.
Scourge: Is ‘inner chamber’ supposed to be a euphemism or literal? I can barely tell anymore.
Rodimus: I’ve heard of being devoted to your work, but who has their bedroom right next to the torture chamber? Sheesh.
As we kiss, I can feel his hand exploring my body, lower and lower, until he reaches my over-heated interface.
Rodimus: He began to reconsider when his fingers started melting off.
He strokes the bud for a while before finally plunging several fingers between the folds and then as deep as they'll go.
Scourge: Bud, necter…is this an AU where everyone is a flower?
I cry out and for now, Cyclonus just watches my reactions to his ministrations.
Rodimus: Waiting for her attention to waver for a bare moment so he could escape her evil mind control scheme and alert the other Decepticons.
I'm going crazy... bleary-eyed again... and I hump his hand furiously. My whole body trembles as he continues to bring me toward my climax.
Cyclonus: I’m fairly certain she was crazy to begin with.
He leans forward, kissing my face, my throat, my breasts...and pulling on my nipples with his teeth
Scourge: And we’re back to the organic fetish again.
Rodimus: I wonder how she manages keeping an entire set of human parts in her drawer just for people to nibble on during sex.
until I can stand no more.
Cyclonus: For once, we are in agreement.
I shriek and thrash about as an orgasm overtakes my entire body. My inner cables clench around his fingers and refuse to release them...
Cyclonus: Cables don’t work that way!
Scourge: I’m failing to see the erotic appeal to having his hand stuck up in there because your nethers are malfunctioning.
Rodimus: Be pretty awkward to explain to the Constructicons, too.
Cyclonus, zealously continues to stroke my inflamed bud and seconds later, I can feel another wave overtaking me even before the first has subsided...
Rodimus: Looking at this literally…Cyclonus is attempting to put out her burning flower, and the waves of water continue to wash over her even after the fire has been put out.
Scourge: Still not seeing the sexy. You get some pretty weird sex scenes, Cyc.
Cyclonus: *grumpily* Says the mech with barbs. *and can’t help grinning as Scourge flails and sputters in his direction*
And then another.
Rodimus: And then they had a lunch break.
With the fourth one, however, he does something different.
Scourge: Now he wants to wear her lingerie.
He brings me to the verge, but before I can go completely over the top, he brings my legs up over his shoulders...
Cyclonus: And breaks her in half.
and drives his rock-hard erection as far into my core as he can.
Scourge: Interesting method of execution, but whatever works.
I scream and then sob as I come and continue to soak my bedding with lubricant.
Rodimus: Nobody’s got that much expendable lubricant.
Cyclonus: She’s cracked a fuel line open and is slowly bleeding to death.
As Cyclonus thrusts between my legs, I can feel yet another orgasm building... This time I'm determined that we're coming together
Scourge: Coming where?
Rodimus: To a theater near you.
and I fight it off until I can feel Cyclonus tensing up.
Cyclonus: Just kill her already, she’s completely vulnerable!
Scourge: Switch death with getting laid and you see why I get so frustrated in these things.
Rodimus: What about the one with the magic puma and the barbs?
Scourge: Would you shut up about the cursed barbs!
I can hear his groaning, see his teeth clenching and feel his body begin to tremble violently. One more thrust and I can feel his cord begin to throb with heat.
Scourge: It’s been up in her nuclear reactor for a good while, of course it’s gotten heated.
He screams..."Yes... Yessss... NOWWWWWWWWWW !!!!!!"
Cyclonus: *is practically bent double in his seat now, trying to pretend that none of this exists*
Rodimus: *boggling and speechless now*
Scourge: …y’know, if we could somehow make extra consonants and punctuation into energon we’d have a pretty steady energy supply just from this one sentence. I’ll have to mention the idea to Hook.
His seed, full of life-essence, pours into my core, setting me off for a fifth time...
Scourge: Cyclonus, second in command and Decepticon gardener.
My claws tear at his shoulders as my inner cables milk him dry.
Scourge: And, apparently, a cow. @_@
Rodimus: *blech* Really didn’t need that image, Scourge.
Once we untangle ourselves from one another,
Cyclonus: This is why we don’t have hair. Things like this only happen to organics.
we kiss and fall into a deep state of recharge... happily exhausted...
Rodimus: …right there, completely naked and hair all tangled and the bedding soaked in Primus-knows-what so they’ll probably be half-rusted in the morning?
Scourge: Honestly, give me fifteen minutes and an engineer’s textbook and I could write this five times better. And it would have me in it instead of her and that would make it six times better.
Rodimus: So where do I fit into all of this?
Cyclonus: You can be the towel boy.
and knowing that wewill have a very interesting future to fulfill together...
Cyclonus: Until he came to and handed her over to Vortex for torture. Then borrowed a few tools and did it himself. The execution was carried out a month later.
Scourge: *patpat* Whatever makes the suicidal urges go away.
" TOTAL SURRENDER IN THE DARK
NO TURNIN' BACK THAT NIGHT
TOTAL SURRENDER OF THE HEART
THERE WAS NO WRONG OR RIGHT... "
(S. Bush, W. Cook)
Scourge: Because no badfic is complete without completely random lyrics that have nothing to do with the story.
Cyclonus: No, there is definitely a ‘wrong’ here. This entire thing is wrong.
Finis...?
Cyclonus: Please.
Scourge: I’m not going to complain about a lack of graphic sex in a fic ever, ever again.
Rodimus: But it said this was ‘part one’. Does that mean--*is quickly silenced as two Unicronian hands are clapped over his mouth*
Scourge: *hissing* Don’t encourage it!
*The theater door opens…well, not so much opens as flies off its hinges with a crash and a puff of smoke as a rather familiar orange cannon pokes through the newly-made hole*
Galvatron: *looks in and smirks* Are you three quite finished in there?
Cyclonus: *freedom!* *practically dives from his seat towards the opening*
Rodimus: *as he and Scourge get up* How do you manage to keep mocking it like that without cracking?
Scourge: Because I’m a professional. *grins and folds his arms* I’ve seen enough that nothing can truly disturb me.
Rodimus: Nothing?
Scourge: Nothing.
Rodimus: So the barbs don’t bother you at all?
*and if he wasn’t a Prime he might be giggling as Scourge chases him out of the theater*