006. Burn
Title/Prompt: Burn, Yesung/Heechul
Ratings: PG-13
Author: Sehraa
Warning: Massive crack, mentions sex, swearing
Additional information: For the 100Suju challenge. My third entry.
Side Pairings: Kyumi, Henwook, Eunmin.
Summary:
006. Burn, Heechul/Yesung
It's the slow burn that spreads deliciously through his body and pools in his stomach like molten liquid.
It's like taking up smoking all over again.
It's unconventional and unexpected and Hankyung had laughed at him for days, but he decides he likes it. Also, Kangin's face when he'd been told? Epic.
There was only one problem.
"I think I'm going to have to break up with you." Heechul announces after a session of mindblowing sex. Who knew those hands could do anything other than being obnoxiously tiny?
Yesung waits for the punchline. He realises that there is none when Heechul starts to climb out of bed in all his naked glory. Yesung quickly grabs him before he can make it all the way out and tugs him back onto the mattress.
"Hey, wait a second." Yesung says, still holding Heechul fast in case Heechul decided to make a break for it, "You can't just break up with me like this."
"I just did." Heechul points out.
"Well, yeah, but don't I get any say in this?" Yesung says, trying to have a mature and serious conversation. Then he remembers who he's talking to and wonders if he should give up.
"No." Heechul says bluntly.
Yesung, because he is smarter than most people know (and because Ryeowook suggested it) had asked Hankyung for both his blessings for the relationship and advice on how to handle understand Heechul.
Hankyung had readily agreed to the first one (he'd also tried to console him, which had been a little awkward), and Yesung had found out that Heechul could, most times, be placated with chocolate. Preferbly white. Or, for some reason, a hard boiled egg.
"Is this because of chocolate?" Yesung blurts out, Heechul stares at him strangely.
"Well no. If you want to buy me some that would be great though." He says.
"So what is it?" Yesung persists. He's not getting dumped until he knows.
"It's not me, it's you." Heechul sighs dramatically, twisting out of Yesung's grip to rest his chin on his hands on Yesung's chest. For a guy who wants to break up, Heechul is acting like he still expects to get some.
Yesung cranes his head up to stare at Heechul who stares back at him expectantly.
"So it's me?" Yesung repeats.
"Yup!" Heechul says cheerfully, patting Yesung's cheek.
"So what about me?" Yesung says dutifully to Heechul's unspoken command to ask said question.
"Heebum doesn't like you." Heechul says immediately, poking Yesung's cheek, "I don't want to be in a relationship Heebummie doesn't approve of. It feels like I'm betraying him."
Yesung thought he'd known what he'd gotten into when he'd agreed to a relationship with Heechul. But this is...
"I'll miss the sex though." Heechul says thoughtfully, "Do you think you could teach Hankyung that finger thing?"
Yesung stares, then chokes on how really, really hot that mental image is. He'll never be able to look at Hankyung the same way again.
"So it's not me," Yesung says slowly, "It's not about the sex. It's just..."
"Heebum." Heechul nods, "It'll be a real pity though," Heechul sighs, "To lose this, us, but I trust Heebummie's instincts."
Heechul climbs out of bed with an air of finality, and this time Yesung doesn't stop him. Heechul waves cheerily at the terrapins as he passes and they, the traitors, stick their necks out and watch him go instead of splashing back into the water like they do with Yesung.
"Well come on," Heechul says impatiently when he is almost out of the room, "My back won't wash itself you know."
Yesung stares at him, then quickly gets out of bed.
-
After 'washing Heechul's back' which Yesung had learned, the really awesome way, was code word for shower sex. Heechul came up with an ultimatum.
Seven days, and if Yesung didn't manage to win Heebum over within that time period, they were through.
-
On the first day Yesung attempts to bribe the cat.
Sungmin is in the kitchen when he hears a yell, the sound of something ripping, and a muffled curse that sounds like Yesung.
"Hyung? Are you alright?" Sungmin calls from the safety of the kitchen. He pokes his head out in time to see a very smug looking Heebum trotting away with a torn bag of cat treats.
After helping Yesung apply antiseptic to the scratch wounds and bandaging his arm, Sungmin is moved to ask why in the world Yesung was doing something so stupid as messing with Heebum.
Yesung explains.
Sungmin stares.
"It's just- If it was just about the sex, I wouldn't even think of doing this. I mean, the cat is pure evil! But..." Yesung says despondently.
"Wow hyung," Sungmin says after trying to digest the information he's just been given, "You must really like Heechul hyung a lot huh?"
'
Yesung nods, pauses, then his eyes widen, "Oh crap," He says, terrified, "I do."
"There, there," Sungmin says consolingly, "It can't be that bad." Then Sungmin stops, "Well, maybe it is. I mean, you're technically in love with Heechul hyung. You and Heechul hyung. Can two AB types really be compatible? I think the world will explode. Do you think the world will explode hyung?" Sungmin asks worriedly.
Yesung groans.
-
The second day Yesung opts to study the intricate workings of Heebum's mind. From a distance that is.
Ryeowook stares at him as he enters their shared bedroom. Yesung doesn't look up from his book.
"Everything you need to know about cats?" Ryeowook reads the title aloud in confusion.
"Ryeowook!" Yesung beams, finally noticing him, "Hi! I thought you'd be out until later?"
"I ended early," Ryeowook replies slowly, crossing the room. He picks up the top book from a stack by Yesung's bedside, opening to a random page and squawks, dropping the book, when the first word he sees is copulation. He hesitantly picks it up again and quickly drops it on the table next to the stack.
"Hyung?" Ryeowook asks, "What are you doing with a book on," He reads the title of the book he'd just put back, "The birds and the bees of Cats?" Even reading the words out loud makes him feel dirty inside.
"Yup." Yesung answers, going back to his book, "I'm learning everything I can about cats. Did you know that they were worshipped as a kind of god in ancient Egyptian times? Which is sort of cool, even though they're evil bastards."
Ryeowook wonders if the time has come to back away slowly, "Okay hyung."
Kyuhyun enters the room without knocking and flings a set of paper, clipped together, at Yesung. The header has the words 'Cats' typed big and bold on the front.
"Here," He hisses coldly, "Now give it to me."
Yesung puts down his book interestedly. He picks up the papers and flips through it quickly.
"This is great Kyuhyun!" Yesung enthuses, "You did a good job."
"Whatever." Kyuhyun glares, "Keys. Now."
Yesung tosses a key to Kyuhyun who grabs it quickly and pockets it. Kyuhyun leaves the room, muttering something about finally getting some peace in his own room.
Yesung huffs at the treatment. It wasn't his fault that he'd used his set of keys to enter Kyuhyun's room that night. It was just that Sungmin had taken to staying over at Eunhyuk's doing something Yesung didn't really want to think about, and Yesung just wanted to make sure Kyuhyun wasn't feeling lonely. How was he to know that Kyuhyun was having phone sex with Zhoumi?
"I think I'll leave now." Ryeowook says, "See you later hyung." And quickly does so without looking back.
-
Day three and Yesung has decided his course of action. He, armed with another bag of cat treats and all he can glean from both cat books and the internet, is going to try again.
One of the books had said that, to build a better relationship with your pet, you should talk to it.
"Wish me luck." Yesung says fondly to his terrapins, who ignore him and continue chewing on their lettuce. Yesung doesn't let that bring him down, going out of his room, and his dorm, with purpose.
"Hey hyung." Yesung says. Hankyung turns to acknowledge the greeting when he stops. Stares.
"Yesung...Why are you wearing cat ears?" Hankyung asks, even though he immediately doesn't want to know.
"I'm," Yesung says, brandishing the cat book he'd carefully selected as the most informative of the lot, "Relating to my pet. It says here, in page forty-three, that it is essential to building a good and healthy relationship with my cat." Yesung recites seriously.
Hankyung wonders whether to laugh or cry, "And you are trying this out with...?"
"Heebum of course." Yesung says like it's obvious.
"Of course." Hankyung repeats, nods slowly, "My mom h-has this herbal recipe. It is good. For the head."
"Oh? I'm not sick." Yesung says reassuringly, "Thanks anyway hyung."
Hankyung nods weakly and goes back into the dorm to sit down. Yesung follows him in, but goes into Heechul's room where Heebum is sleeping. Cat-nap, Yesung remembers from his book.
"Are you alright hyung?" Kangin asks immediately when he sees Hankyung sitting on the couch casting unreadable looks at Heechul's room. Kangin thinks there may be some good gossip to be had so he takes a seat next to Hankyung.
"No, nothing. It's...Yesung." Hankyung says distractedly, he's still waiting for the screaming. Any second now.
Kangin's head spins with the possibilities. Is Yesung alright? Well of course not, he's dating, and has a healthy sex life with, Kim Heechul. So what about Yesung? Kangin scrutinizes Hankyung carefully. Is Hankyung...jealous? According to most of their ELFs, Heechul and Hankyung were supposed to have something going on. Was Hankyung filled with resentment towards Yesung for taking his place? Were they going to have one less member, when Hankyung finally cracked?
"Hyung?" Kangin says carefully, this kind of subject had to be broached considerately, "Are you- I mean, are you okay? With Heechul hyung and Yesung hyung being...together?"
"Of course not." Hankyung snorts, his eyes still trained at the door just in case he missed anything. Kangin's eyebrows would have disapeared into his fringe if he had a fringe.
"I mean," Hankyung corrects himself, "It's alright, if it makes Heechul happy." He says softly.
"You think Yesung hyung is not good enough for Heechul hyung?" Kangin asks. This was getting juicier by the second.
Hankyung blinks, "Well I don't know about that. Heechul is evil," Hankyung nods sagely, "He wouldn't be g-good for anyone. I pity Yesung."
"Are you sure you're not jealous?" Kangin asks with bated breath.
Hankyung's eyes widen, "No! No. Yesung can have him. Heechul and I are just good friends." Hankyung says empathetically, then narrows his eyes, "If Yesung hurts him though..." Hankyung says grimly, Kangin sees Hankyung's fist clench and is suddenly quite afraid for Yesung.
"Ah, but I don't think he will." Hankyung says cheerfully, menacing aura suddenly gone, "I mean, Heechul's a cold hearted bastard, he can take care of himself."
Kangin nods slowly, "Ah."
-
Yesung had talked a lot and now he was pooped. He wondered if anything of what he'd said had even gotten through to Heebum who is glaring at him. Well, at least Heebum isn't scratching him. Of course, Yesung had come prepared and had quickly thrown the treats to the side before Heebum could pounce. Heebum had then pounced on that instead, and was now curled around the treats possesively.
Their conversation had gone something like this:
"And I'm sure that you and I can share Heech-."
Menacing hiss.
"Heenim. I meant Heenim."
Approving meow.
"You'll always be important to him of course."
Duh expression. Can cats even have 'duh' expressions?
"I'm not joking. The whole reason why I'm doing this is because Heech- Heenim wanted me to."
Yawn.
"I really hope we can be good friends."
Can cats roll their eyes? Yesung was almost certain Heebum did.
"Would you like to hear a funny story?"
Disgusted meow. Stands up, moves until it's back is to Yesung, curls into itself. Sleeps.
Yesung sighs. Well, that had gone better than he'd expected.
-
Kangin accosts Yesung on the way out and drags him to the couch, where he makes Yesung tell all in that Kangin way of his. Kangin gives advice as best as he can and Yesung walks away happier that someone had listened to him.
-
"Late, late, late." Kangin mutters under his breath as he gets into the lift, if he hurried he could just make it. The lift stops one floor down and Eunhyuk gets in.
-
Eunhyuk steps out of the lift in a sort of daze that is a result of information overload. Kangin waves goodbye to him before running out of the building.
Eunhyuk shakes his head, takes a deep breath and speed-dials Yesung's mother.
-
"-so that's why Yesung hyung is so obsessed with cats now." Donghae explains seriously.
"So let me get this straight," Kyuhyun says, "Heechul hyung practically gave him an out and he didn't take it?"
"I think it's True Love." Donghae stresses, "I mean, of course Yesung hyung isn't good enough for Heechul hyung," Donghae says like it is obvious, "But I think hyung is happy so that's good."
"I think we should have Yesung hyung committed." Ryeowook says seriously. Donghae and Kyuhyun stare at him.
"Just think about it," Ryeowook says, "If he goes, maybe one of our unofficial members can join officially." He's thinking of Henry of course.
"So KRY might become KRZ?" Kyuhyun says slowly, thinking it over. Ryeowook nods.
"How do we do it and when?" He says quickly.
-
"Maybe he was speaking metaphorically. When he says 'get along with my cat', maybe it means 'you don't understand me', or 'I wish you would be more considerate towards me'?" Yesung's mother says over the phone.
"No mom. I think when hyung said 'get along with my cat', he meant 'get along with my cat'." Yesung says. But just to be sure he makes a mental note to check it out.
Oh, yes. And to kill Kangin.
-
"Yesung hyung?" Henry's voice sounds weird on the phone.
"Hi, Henry?" Yesung answers, "I need to ask you a question. Say your girlfriend, or boyfriend I guess, tells you to get along with her or his cat or else she'll, or he'll, break up with you. What does that actually mean?"
Henry repeats Yesung's question, not sure he'd heard it right.
Yesung affirms that, yes, he did hear him right.
There is a silence over the phone.
"I...don't know." Henry says finally, "Ryeowook hyung doesn't have a cat."
"Huh," Yesung says, "Well, thanks anyway."
-
"Really! I couldn't call you because Yesung hyung had called me. After that my phone died."
"Yesung hyung...called you?"
"Yes!"
"Henry, if you really didn't want to talk to me, you should just say so."
"Ryeowook hyung? Ryeowook hyung!"
Henry stares at the phone in his hand, before quickly redialing.
"Ryeowook hyung?"
"Haha Henry, just kidding." Ryeowook laughs and it is the sweetest sound Henry's heard all day.
-
"Hyung!" Sungmin says in surprise, "What are you doing here? Not that I don't want you here of course," He ammends, "But why aren't you in your own dorm?"
"Heechul and Yesung are..." Leeteuk trails off weakly, wondering if he should pick up a vice just to try to cope with being the leader of pure insanity.
"Doesn't Heechul hyung want to break up with Yesung hyung?" Sungmin asks.
Leeteuk grimaces, "Heechul doesn't see why they can't have sex while they're not broken up yet."
"Ah."
-
"Maybe it's your attitude towards Heebum." Zhoumi says over the webcam in stuttering Korean. Yesung's expression is one of pure blankness because really, the whole language barrier thing was the reason he and Hankyung never really became close.
"He thinks that your attitude towards Heebum sucks, so it's your fault you two can't get along." Kyuhyun translates grudgingly.
Zhoumi says something else, first in a scolding tone, then in a questioning one. Yesung can only catch the words 'Kuixian!' and 'Heebum', the rest is in a language only Kyuhyun seems to understand.
"He asks what your feeling towards Heebum is." Kyuhyun says shortly.
"Evil incarnate." Yesung says immediately. Zhoumi seems to have caught that if the coughing fit had anything to do with it.
Zhoumi says something else in broken Korean.
"Heebum can't be that bad." Kyuhyun repeats dutifully.
"He is!" Yesung exclaims, "He has this, this evil eye glare. And he keeps staring at my terrapins as if he wants to eat them! I found a dead mouse in my room the other night, and he scratched me!"
Zhoumi and Kyuhyun stare at Yesung.
Zhoumi says something. Kyuhyun nods slowly.
"Hyung?" Kyuhyun says slowly, turns back to Zhoumi, "Um, I think Heebum is asserting his superiority over you. I don't think he'll ever like you."
"Really?" Yesung asks, "As in, not in seven days?"
"As in not in this year hyung." Kyuhyun says bluntly, "Not in this year, decade, century, lifetime. And Heebum has, like, nine."
"Huh." Yesung says dumbly.
Zhoumi makes some consoling sounds over the webcam as Kyuhyun half-heartedly pats Yesung on the back.
-
"I failed." Yesung says on the eighth day. Heechul blinks.
"Okay." Heechul nods, "Well, good try and all that."
"So...we're broken up." Yesung says, unsure. The impact of the statement hasn't hit him yet.
"Yup!" Heechul says, too cheerfully. He grabs Yesung's hand and starts tugging him into the bedroom.
"Hyung?" Yesung says confused, "Um, what are you doing?"
"Do I have to spell it out to you?" Heechul rolls his eyes, "We're going to do our usual of course. We have to be quick though, Leeteuk hyung says that he wants to actually get some undisturbed sleep tonight. I think he's exaggerating though, he's impossible to wake up in the morning."
"But...we've broken up." Yesung says slowly. Heechul sighs.
"Well yes, that is a problem." Heechul agrees, then lets go of his hand to cross his arms over his chest, "So ask me already."
"Ask you what?" Yesung says blankly.
"To be your boyfriend again. I don't have all day." Heechul sighs.
"Heechul hyung," Yesung says obediently, "Will you be my boyfriend? Um, again?"
"Okay." Heechul says quickly, "Now stop being silly."
"So the thing with Heebum was..."
"I wasn't really around last week," Heechul explains, referring to the hell-week Yesung has just gone through, "So I thought Heebum would be lonely. See? Heebum got to assert his superiority over you, and now you understand that you can't win! It's killing two birds with one stone." Heechul nods.
Yesung stares.
You deserves better, he tries to persuade himself. Heechul's just been playing with you, your feelings and you in general and are you just going to take his bullshit all your life? Stand up and be a man! Unless...
"Oh shit," Yesung says faintly, "I'm in love with you."
Heechul nods with a wicked grin on his face, "As is the lament of all men."