"friends" suck.. let me rephrase that.. People Suck!!!
Apparently i complain too much
and im to opposed to to many things that do not jive well with my life. all of this causes a problem with the people who pretend to be friends..
this is why i think it might be a bit easier to be dead
a few years ago "friends" told me to talk about my feelings more openly. idk why the whole "friends" concept still bothers me.
now that i have been they are all sick of it..
so i get yelled aat constantly when i complain about my bad day or a trouble im having with a class or teacher or family member or whatever.. they all dont care anymore.. im sick of reaching out and getting nothing.
my true friends are hard to keep in touch with... bc im so fuckin busy
i just want someone to listen and not beat me down when im already pretty low.
Mr smith has been being a jerk to me.. i have no one to turn to anymore...zack understands but hes herd it all before.. oh ya and mr smith said he was gonna call my house a few weeks ago bc he honestly thought i was on the verge of killing myself... i understand why he would have called but i dont want to be checked on every 3 seconds to make sure my body parts are completely in tact...
none of my issues are "big" persay but they feel overwhelming... when i talked to my therapist she said i should go on anti- depressants... but mom doesnt know.. and i feel bad going behind her back to get meds (before therapy she specifically said no meds, but bc im 17 i can get them from my physician). my therpaist also said that i have the early stages of severe anxiety... hahah does that mean i have anxiety?
kill me?.... i dont have the "balls" to do it myself i just want some way out... i dont want to be alive anymore
im fucked up and life doesnt get much better.. but how they hell do i know right? iim only a teenager and i have my whole fuckin life ahead of me. i'll be in debt from college until im 85...i'll have endless bills to pay that wont get paid tdue to a dead end job or no job at all... lifes hard.. ya I KNOW! SHUT UP!....... but i dont want to miserable the rest of my life.. and ya its all about perspective.. I KNOW SHUT UP! but im not going to fool myself into being happy when im not. ....
k im done ranting baout things people dont care about...
and im to opposed to to many things that do not jive well with my life. all of this causes a problem with the people who pretend to be friends..
this is why i think it might be a bit easier to be dead
a few years ago "friends" told me to talk about my feelings more openly. idk why the whole "friends" concept still bothers me.
now that i have been they are all sick of it..
so i get yelled aat constantly when i complain about my bad day or a trouble im having with a class or teacher or family member or whatever.. they all dont care anymore.. im sick of reaching out and getting nothing.
my true friends are hard to keep in touch with... bc im so fuckin busy
i just want someone to listen and not beat me down when im already pretty low.
Mr smith has been being a jerk to me.. i have no one to turn to anymore...zack understands but hes herd it all before.. oh ya and mr smith said he was gonna call my house a few weeks ago bc he honestly thought i was on the verge of killing myself... i understand why he would have called but i dont want to be checked on every 3 seconds to make sure my body parts are completely in tact...
none of my issues are "big" persay but they feel overwhelming... when i talked to my therapist she said i should go on anti- depressants... but mom doesnt know.. and i feel bad going behind her back to get meds (before therapy she specifically said no meds, but bc im 17 i can get them from my physician). my therpaist also said that i have the early stages of severe anxiety... hahah does that mean i have anxiety?
kill me?.... i dont have the "balls" to do it myself i just want some way out... i dont want to be alive anymore
im fucked up and life doesnt get much better.. but how they hell do i know right? iim only a teenager and i have my whole fuckin life ahead of me. i'll be in debt from college until im 85...i'll have endless bills to pay that wont get paid tdue to a dead end job or no job at all... lifes hard.. ya I KNOW! SHUT UP!....... but i dont want to miserable the rest of my life.. and ya its all about perspective.. I KNOW SHUT UP! but im not going to fool myself into being happy when im not. ....
k im done ranting baout things people dont care about...