the return of something closer to youth
and so now I'm here, alone in the big house and the silence makes me only that much more aware of the incessant noises that I make while doing everyday tasks - click click scrape inhale cigarette flick click click. and so it goes, all in the name of distraction from the idea that ...what was I supposed to be doing today?
order food online, go to work, smoke some cigarettes, find something else to smoke, go out, read, sleep, yell - in exactly not that order.
but all is well now, and perhaps I'll be drunk within the hour, should all go as planned...leaving me somewhat satisfied and not longing for something I don't remember how to achieve and maybe - just maybe - I'll look somewhere other than the internet and my high school livejournal should I continue looking for it this time.
order food online, go to work, smoke some cigarettes, find something else to smoke, go out, read, sleep, yell - in exactly not that order.
but all is well now, and perhaps I'll be drunk within the hour, should all go as planned...leaving me somewhat satisfied and not longing for something I don't remember how to achieve and maybe - just maybe - I'll look somewhere other than the internet and my high school livejournal should I continue looking for it this time.