(no subject)
CW: covid
I got word on Thursday evening that someone I saw at Sunday morning davening (masked, everyone vaccinated) had just tested positive for COVID. I passed word immediately to work, and in the morning got a test. As I waited for results, more information trickled in- the guy who'd tested positive had been exposed on Saturday, so it was extremely unlikely that he'd been contagious by Sunday, and add that on top of masked and vaccinated and only within ten feet of him for a thirty second fist jab in lieu of handshake, but it was still safer to get a test and be sure. Test results came in motzaei Shabbbos and are negative, as expected.
I'm trying to wrap my head around the contrast between the actuality of very low risk, and the emotional turmoil of waiting for the results. I took a lot of precautions both before and after the exposure, and as a result of those precautions, and luck, I am fine, is a very nice story to tell yourself. My boss believed it well enough that as long as I stayed masked and made extra effort to distance myself, he was fine with me coming in to work on Friday. But... it's very different to actually believe that story when it's your health on the line. I spent all of Friday and Saturday anxious in spite of everything.
I want to believe that we'll get back to some sort of normalcy, and I feel like for me at least, the barrier is that anxiety. How will I emotionally feel ready enough to relax my guard is an important question separate of how will I intellectually know that it is safe to relax my guard. This entry was originally posted at https://seekingferret.dreamwidth.org/386906.html. Please comment there using OpenID. There are
comments.
I got word on Thursday evening that someone I saw at Sunday morning davening (masked, everyone vaccinated) had just tested positive for COVID. I passed word immediately to work, and in the morning got a test. As I waited for results, more information trickled in- the guy who'd tested positive had been exposed on Saturday, so it was extremely unlikely that he'd been contagious by Sunday, and add that on top of masked and vaccinated and only within ten feet of him for a thirty second fist jab in lieu of handshake, but it was still safer to get a test and be sure. Test results came in motzaei Shabbbos and are negative, as expected.
I'm trying to wrap my head around the contrast between the actuality of very low risk, and the emotional turmoil of waiting for the results. I took a lot of precautions both before and after the exposure, and as a result of those precautions, and luck, I am fine, is a very nice story to tell yourself. My boss believed it well enough that as long as I stayed masked and made extra effort to distance myself, he was fine with me coming in to work on Friday. But... it's very different to actually believe that story when it's your health on the line. I spent all of Friday and Saturday anxious in spite of everything.
I want to believe that we'll get back to some sort of normalcy, and I feel like for me at least, the barrier is that anxiety. How will I emotionally feel ready enough to relax my guard is an important question separate of how will I intellectually know that it is safe to relax my guard. This entry was originally posted at https://seekingferret.dreamwidth.org/386906.html. Please comment there using OpenID. There are
comments.