Fanfic Meme: Hot Fuzz
Here's the fanfic for Hot Fuzz: A YYH/FFX crossover with Kuwabara meeting Auron. Notes below the story.
This was Fucking Weird.
And Kuwabara, despite being a Spirit Detective - and not his stupid sidekick, not at all - was not used to Fucking Weird. Urameshi had learned to cope with that early on, and while Kuwabara had been gawking and struggling to fight demons on Hanging Neck Island, Urameshi had been getting chummy with them.
Then again, he'd been one of them in the end.
The big man in front of him shifted, the Giant Ass Sword slung across his shoulders sliding to the side slightly, waiting for the carrot-topped teen to say something.
"What am I doin' here?"
The man raised an eyebrow, which, coupled with the sunglasses, gave Kuwabara the feeling that it was a flat, Hiei-esque stare he was getting.
"Heck if I know, man. I was just wandering around Spirit World, waiting for Botan to give me some cleanup case, and then I ended up in this creepy-misty-field....thing. What part of Spirit World is this? The Alissa Fields or somethin'?"
"It's known as the Farplane." His voice was curt and sounded like it scraped against rocks on its way out. Quieter than Kurama, even, but Kuwabara heard him clearly - and the solid, the regret, the willpower - behind it.
It was Urameshi's kind of voice, open and so, so foreign.
"Farplane? Never heard'a that one. This where warriors go when they die?"
"Everyone."
"...everyone?"
The man nodded.
"That can't be right," Kuwabara muttered, rubbing the top of his head. "What the heck is goin' on?"
"Are you lost?"
Kuwabara looked up to the redcoatsunglassesopenvoiceman. "Yeah. You know the way back to Spirit World?"
"I'm afraid," the man said after a moment, "that doesn't exist in Spira or the Farplane."
"Spira, wut? I'm from Japan!"
Another Hiei-ish-what-nonsense-are-you-spouting-now-you-moron look.
"Another dimension," Kuwabara amended slowly. "I guess I could always cut my way home."
But the Jigen-Tou wouldn't form.
"What--What the hell?!" he shrieked after ten minutes of failure. "Don't tell me I've lost my powers again?! And what the heck are you lookin' at, old man?! Didn't anyone tell you it's rude to stare?!"
The man made an incoherent noise. A laugh?
"What is so funny?"
"You remind me of someone," he said finally. "You sounded just like him for a moment."
"So, what happened to him?"
"He wrote his own story."
"Uh..."
"Then came here for a while...then returned to write more chapters."
"What, he take a sabbatical from his book or somethin'?"
The man sighed, and Kuwabara felt stupid and, surprisingly, embarrassed. "In a way," the man said suddenly, startling the teen.
"Cool, I guess. ...so, how'd you get here, anyway?"
"The first or second time?"
"You've died twice? I thought only Urameshi could get away with that kind of crap!"
"Once was a failed attempt to defy God. The next was after our success."
"Are you a good guy or a bad guy?" Kuwabara interrupted warily.
"...I have been revered as a Legendary Guardian."
Kuwabara guessed that meant good guy. He really hoped it meant good guy. "So...how'd you die the next go-'round? Injured in battle?"
"My own discretion."
"You wanted to die? What's with you people?!" Kuwabara threw his hands in the air. "Did you do it to piss your friends off too? So all of them could be fuckin' powerful but still helpless against the Big Band, until you come in, your stupid dead carcass is alive again on your stupid phoenix-soul and you save the day again, only to ditch the only normal one of the bunch?!" Kuwbara sat, trying to breathe deeply. He was so fed up being the stupid one, the helpless one, the leftover one, the human one in a group of demons and Grim fucking Reapers.
"That is your story, not mine. And the way you speak of it, it has not yet ended."
"Epilogue to Chapter Black: Kuwabara cleans up after Urameshi's mess."
There was a grunt from the older man, who was still just standing there, and Kuwabara was so sick of how he was the three friends that had left him behind. He spoke with relative ease as Kurama, he was short and to the point and stupidly enigmatic like Hiei, and he was so much of buttheaded Urameshi. "What's your name, boy?"
"Kazuma Kuwabara. Backup Spirit Detective." His voice was hollow and bitter. "What about yours, old man?"
"Auron."
"...so why'd you wanna know my name, anyway?"
Auron shrugged one shoulder. "I wished to see if there was a similarity."
"What, to your friend?"
"He said the same thing about us, once. Told me that he was only cleaning up the mess his father and I had left behind. He was angry at the time, too."
"Yeah, well, that's what happens when your friends are demons and you're stuck at home with your human sister and your best friend's girlfriend. Shit, my girlfriend's a demon."
Auron's eyebrow arched again. "A fiend?"
"Not a bad demon," Kuwabara corrected. "She's the sweetest little thing, pretty cerulean hair bound in a ribbon as red as her big, gorgeous eyes. She's so tiny, I could hold her against me and protect her from everything, but she keeps tellin' me she needs to find something before she'll come to the Human World. Half the time I'm not even sure if she gets it."
"Perhaps your friends feel like they must protect you."
"You'd know that, yeah? Being the Guardian thingummy and all."
"I am not speaking of myself."
"Huh. I can take care of myself though." Which is why I got kidnapped, volunteered to die, and can't frickin' fight unless something's on the line, and even then I muck it up.
"It's called watching your friends' backs."
"And the best way to do that is to leave them?"
"Sometimes."
Kuwabara stood, shaking his head. "Maybe to you."
They stood there in silence. Kuwabara didn't even know Auron, and he certainly wasn't used to talking his problems out like he was at some shrink. Most things could be communicated by fists, not...metaphors. "Look, man, you don't get what I'm sa--"
"Kuwabara!"
The not-replacement Detective whirled around. "Botan! Oh thank God."
The ferrywoman landed in front of him. "Do you have any idea how long we've been looking for you? How did you get here, it's not even--oh." She bowed respectfully to Auron, who was standing there, mouthing a name over his high collar, then shaking his head. "Let's go, Lord Enma needs your help pronto."
"Kazuma."
Kuwabara glanced back at the enigmatic man, who was all of his friends and none of them, who'd left him behind and who he'd just met. Auron reached down and plucked a string of beads off the giant jug hanging from his coat. "Get off your sabbatical."
Confused, Kazuma accepted the gift, rolling the Holy Beads around in his fingers. "I can't follow them."
Botan made a concerned whine behind him, her mind immediately flying to the boys that had left, and Kuwabara hated that twinge of pity that colored her voice.
"So wait for them to come to you."
"What if they don't come back?" Kuwabara challenged, hand tightening around the beads.
"They will."
Auron turned and walked away. Kuwabara looked after him.
"What happened to that guy, anyway?"
"He fought after his death. When someone dies in his world, they don't go to the afterlife unless they're Sent. It's like your abilities, everyone can see them and even feel them, to a point."
"Oh. So he only gave up when he was actually finished..."
"Hm?"
"Nothin'. Let's go, Botan, you can brief me on the way to the case."
"All right..." The ferrywoman sat near the top of her oar, and as Kuwabara clambered awkwardly on behind her, he fumbled to tie the beads around his wrist, reminding himself to do a better job when he got home.
~~~~
And so the Holy Beads hung on a cord around Kuwabara's neck, reminding him of a warrior who fought even in his death, and did not stop until his job had been done. And Auron would always remember the odd teenager who stumbled into his afterlife and wonder when he would return to the Farplane; it was where true warriors met, after all.
A/N: Ummm. Yeah. I had no idea what the hell was going on when I wrote this. And by that I mean the story just kinda wrote itself and I"m sorry if it stopped suddenly or it didn't meet your satisfaction, Fuzz..
I was always disappointed that Kuwabara focused on school and that was that. I hate the entire Three Kings Saga except for Yomi and the ending of the series sucks sucks SUCKS, but that's another matter. I always imagined he'd keep up the Spirit Detective stuff; sure Enma banned Koenma and Yusuke, but he still needs someone to take care of business and I think Kuwabara's pretty qualified.
This was Fucking Weird.
And Kuwabara, despite being a Spirit Detective - and not his stupid sidekick, not at all - was not used to Fucking Weird. Urameshi had learned to cope with that early on, and while Kuwabara had been gawking and struggling to fight demons on Hanging Neck Island, Urameshi had been getting chummy with them.
Then again, he'd been one of them in the end.
The big man in front of him shifted, the Giant Ass Sword slung across his shoulders sliding to the side slightly, waiting for the carrot-topped teen to say something.
"What am I doin' here?"
The man raised an eyebrow, which, coupled with the sunglasses, gave Kuwabara the feeling that it was a flat, Hiei-esque stare he was getting.
"Heck if I know, man. I was just wandering around Spirit World, waiting for Botan to give me some cleanup case, and then I ended up in this creepy-misty-field....thing. What part of Spirit World is this? The Alissa Fields or somethin'?"
"It's known as the Farplane." His voice was curt and sounded like it scraped against rocks on its way out. Quieter than Kurama, even, but Kuwabara heard him clearly - and the solid, the regret, the willpower - behind it.
It was Urameshi's kind of voice, open and so, so foreign.
"Farplane? Never heard'a that one. This where warriors go when they die?"
"Everyone."
"...everyone?"
The man nodded.
"That can't be right," Kuwabara muttered, rubbing the top of his head. "What the heck is goin' on?"
"Are you lost?"
Kuwabara looked up to the redcoatsunglassesopenvoiceman. "Yeah. You know the way back to Spirit World?"
"I'm afraid," the man said after a moment, "that doesn't exist in Spira or the Farplane."
"Spira, wut? I'm from Japan!"
Another Hiei-ish-what-nonsense-are-you-spouting-now-you-moron look.
"Another dimension," Kuwabara amended slowly. "I guess I could always cut my way home."
But the Jigen-Tou wouldn't form.
"What--What the hell?!" he shrieked after ten minutes of failure. "Don't tell me I've lost my powers again?! And what the heck are you lookin' at, old man?! Didn't anyone tell you it's rude to stare?!"
The man made an incoherent noise. A laugh?
"What is so funny?"
"You remind me of someone," he said finally. "You sounded just like him for a moment."
"So, what happened to him?"
"He wrote his own story."
"Uh..."
"Then came here for a while...then returned to write more chapters."
"What, he take a sabbatical from his book or somethin'?"
The man sighed, and Kuwabara felt stupid and, surprisingly, embarrassed. "In a way," the man said suddenly, startling the teen.
"Cool, I guess. ...so, how'd you get here, anyway?"
"The first or second time?"
"You've died twice? I thought only Urameshi could get away with that kind of crap!"
"Once was a failed attempt to defy God. The next was after our success."
"Are you a good guy or a bad guy?" Kuwabara interrupted warily.
"...I have been revered as a Legendary Guardian."
Kuwabara guessed that meant good guy. He really hoped it meant good guy. "So...how'd you die the next go-'round? Injured in battle?"
"My own discretion."
"You wanted to die? What's with you people?!" Kuwabara threw his hands in the air. "Did you do it to piss your friends off too? So all of them could be fuckin' powerful but still helpless against the Big Band, until you come in, your stupid dead carcass is alive again on your stupid phoenix-soul and you save the day again, only to ditch the only normal one of the bunch?!" Kuwbara sat, trying to breathe deeply. He was so fed up being the stupid one, the helpless one, the leftover one, the human one in a group of demons and Grim fucking Reapers.
"That is your story, not mine. And the way you speak of it, it has not yet ended."
"Epilogue to Chapter Black: Kuwabara cleans up after Urameshi's mess."
There was a grunt from the older man, who was still just standing there, and Kuwabara was so sick of how he was the three friends that had left him behind. He spoke with relative ease as Kurama, he was short and to the point and stupidly enigmatic like Hiei, and he was so much of buttheaded Urameshi. "What's your name, boy?"
"Kazuma Kuwabara. Backup Spirit Detective." His voice was hollow and bitter. "What about yours, old man?"
"Auron."
"...so why'd you wanna know my name, anyway?"
Auron shrugged one shoulder. "I wished to see if there was a similarity."
"What, to your friend?"
"He said the same thing about us, once. Told me that he was only cleaning up the mess his father and I had left behind. He was angry at the time, too."
"Yeah, well, that's what happens when your friends are demons and you're stuck at home with your human sister and your best friend's girlfriend. Shit, my girlfriend's a demon."
Auron's eyebrow arched again. "A fiend?"
"Not a bad demon," Kuwabara corrected. "She's the sweetest little thing, pretty cerulean hair bound in a ribbon as red as her big, gorgeous eyes. She's so tiny, I could hold her against me and protect her from everything, but she keeps tellin' me she needs to find something before she'll come to the Human World. Half the time I'm not even sure if she gets it."
"Perhaps your friends feel like they must protect you."
"You'd know that, yeah? Being the Guardian thingummy and all."
"I am not speaking of myself."
"Huh. I can take care of myself though." Which is why I got kidnapped, volunteered to die, and can't frickin' fight unless something's on the line, and even then I muck it up.
"It's called watching your friends' backs."
"And the best way to do that is to leave them?"
"Sometimes."
Kuwabara stood, shaking his head. "Maybe to you."
They stood there in silence. Kuwabara didn't even know Auron, and he certainly wasn't used to talking his problems out like he was at some shrink. Most things could be communicated by fists, not...metaphors. "Look, man, you don't get what I'm sa--"
"Kuwabara!"
The not-replacement Detective whirled around. "Botan! Oh thank God."
The ferrywoman landed in front of him. "Do you have any idea how long we've been looking for you? How did you get here, it's not even--oh." She bowed respectfully to Auron, who was standing there, mouthing a name over his high collar, then shaking his head. "Let's go, Lord Enma needs your help pronto."
"Kazuma."
Kuwabara glanced back at the enigmatic man, who was all of his friends and none of them, who'd left him behind and who he'd just met. Auron reached down and plucked a string of beads off the giant jug hanging from his coat. "Get off your sabbatical."
Confused, Kazuma accepted the gift, rolling the Holy Beads around in his fingers. "I can't follow them."
Botan made a concerned whine behind him, her mind immediately flying to the boys that had left, and Kuwabara hated that twinge of pity that colored her voice.
"So wait for them to come to you."
"What if they don't come back?" Kuwabara challenged, hand tightening around the beads.
"They will."
Auron turned and walked away. Kuwabara looked after him.
"What happened to that guy, anyway?"
"He fought after his death. When someone dies in his world, they don't go to the afterlife unless they're Sent. It's like your abilities, everyone can see them and even feel them, to a point."
"Oh. So he only gave up when he was actually finished..."
"Hm?"
"Nothin'. Let's go, Botan, you can brief me on the way to the case."
"All right..." The ferrywoman sat near the top of her oar, and as Kuwabara clambered awkwardly on behind her, he fumbled to tie the beads around his wrist, reminding himself to do a better job when he got home.
~~~~
And so the Holy Beads hung on a cord around Kuwabara's neck, reminding him of a warrior who fought even in his death, and did not stop until his job had been done. And Auron would always remember the odd teenager who stumbled into his afterlife and wonder when he would return to the Farplane; it was where true warriors met, after all.
A/N: Ummm. Yeah. I had no idea what the hell was going on when I wrote this. And by that I mean the story just kinda wrote itself and I"m sorry if it stopped suddenly or it didn't meet your satisfaction, Fuzz..
I was always disappointed that Kuwabara focused on school and that was that. I hate the entire Three Kings Saga except for Yomi and the ending of the series sucks sucks SUCKS, but that's another matter. I always imagined he'd keep up the Spirit Detective stuff; sure Enma banned Koenma and Yusuke, but he still needs someone to take care of business and I think Kuwabara's pretty qualified.