I go away for a month and LJ changes on me. Gah.
New format is confusing.
Anyway, I've been writing more of that fic that can't really be posted in snippets, so yup. But I beat Mass Effect 2 with my secondary Shep, Iris, today, so I wrote a little for her. She's a Colonist/Sole Survivor. So. Really traumatized. Also an Engineer, secretly a Trekkie (Scotty was the reason she chose the fighting class she did. She loves machines). Iris is very quiet - most of the dialogue options don't suit her, actually. I made her as a Joker romance, and they are adorable and very, very unsure when it comes to the other. (Read: I'm waiting for him to be announced as a love interest in ME3. Fucking do it, Bioware).
Anyway, here's some short one-shot about the time before the Suicide Mission. Takes place during what would be sexy time, if you romanced anyone.
Title: Best Laid Plans
Fandom: Mass Effect
Rating: PG-13, because Joker has a potty mouth.
Word Count: 1,304
Pairings: teasing Joker/iris. By this point they're unofficially together, but they haven't said a word to the other person about it.
Warnings: Spoilers for the end of ME2. That and nothing actually happens. Just lots of tension and stupid dialogue. Awayyyy.
Iris had a few hours left before she potentially died (again). Before Ilos, she’d spent it in silent contemplation, reading over one Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams’s file, trying to deal with the sickening roil of emotions bubbling in her stomach. Iris was long past the days when the dam had broken on her control - nearly three years, now. God.
There was nothing to handle now, no need to pick the emotions apart one by one and inspect them, relearn them - this is anger, and oh, this is friendship, and love, and fear. No, she knew all of them by now. Too damn well, part of her mind urged, and the engineer sighed, sitting on her bed heavily.
T-minus two hours. Well, three, last time EDI had made an announcement, and Iris doubted she’d been pacing around her room for a solid hour. She stared at her dresser, then opened the bottom drawer, pulling out a compact disc and cradling it. With a resigned smile and a sigh, she went over to her console, popping it in, dimming the lights, and changing into a loose, comfortable pair of civvies. She’d just gotten comfortable on the bed when a soft chime echoed throughout the loft. She sighed quietly. “Yes? Come in.”
It shouldn’t have surprised her to see Joker hobble in, but it did. Iris quickly tapped a button on her omnitool, pausing the movie. She twiddled her fingers, the lights brightening a little, allowing the pilot to make his way in. He leaned against the model case heavily, looking simultaneously uncomfortable and curious. “Commander.” He cleared his throat. “I uh.” He sighed.
“...sit down, Joker,” Iris offered quietly, upright on her bed. She waited patiently while he settled on the couch, letting out a breath and running a hand over his eyes. He looked so tired. “Weren’t you going to try to get some sleep before we hit the relay?”
“Didn’t work so well,” the pilot snorted. “Sucks when the entire ship is quiet.”
Iris didn’t mention her squadmates - she knew the feeling. Survivor’s guilt, that’s what they’d label what was going on in the flight lieutenant’s mind. It didn’t matter what they called it. Nothing changed the feeling of being stared at wherever you went, feeling their eyes on you, crawling up your spine, and even if they weren’t judging you, they were, they were, how could they not. She wondered why he’d come up here, then - it would be even worse around the commanding officer. But she teased the inside of her lip, politely averting her eyes to the space just left of him. He finally removed his cap and scrubbed at his hair, fluffing it up a bit.
“Look, I suck at this stuff, Commander.”
“Shepard,” she corrected automatically.
“Huh?”
“Joker, after all the shit that you’ve pulled us through, I think you’ve earned the right to call me Shepard. Besides you know. When I’m dying.”
“Fine, fine. Still doesn’t mean I don’t suck at this. Shepard.”
Iris shoved her hands between her knees, trying to hide how they shook a little. She swallowed a cocktail of emotions - hope, anxiety, frustration. “What exactly is ‘this,’ Joker?”
“Emotional. Wishy-washy.” He flapped a hand. “I. Hell, Shepard, I’m sorry.”
Iris blinked, feeling rather cheated. But really, it wasn’t much of a surprise. “You’re…sorry?”
“I yelled at you.” Joker was staring at her dubiously. “…after the Collector abduction,” he explained slowly.
“N-No no no. I got that. But. …why?”
“Why? Wait. You’re asking me why I’m apologizing for yelling at you?” He let out a frustrated breath and smacked himself in the face with his cap. Iris chewed on the inside of her lip. “Hell, Shepard, maybe because I meant it? Ah, crap.” Obviously, it wasn’t going the way he’d planned. At least one of them had had a plan. Iris half wondered if she’d fallen asleep and was having some weird dream. Joker didn’t apologize. Let alone twice. Let alone seek people out in their private quarters hours before they’d all certainly die just to profess said apologies.
“You wouldn’t be the first,” she admitted. W-Well. That didn’t sound right. Should she have said that at all? Damn. This - whatever it was - wasn’t going well at all.
“That just makes me feel like more of an ass,” he snapped. He looked briefly mortified, but contorted his face into a scowl when she stared at him.
“Look, Joker, if you wanted someone to properly ease your conscience, you should’ve gone to your simulated girlfriend instead.” Oh, god, what did I just say. Mamá would have given me a hard smack. Of that she was absolutely certain.
“You of all - should know - I - guilty - no - simulated girlfriend?”
It was the first time Iris had ever seen Joker really and truly flabbergasted. Her heart was knotted in her throat, amused and shamed.
“You mean EDI,” Joker continued. “Have you ever considered not everyone loves technology as much as you do? I swear, sometimes you make quarians look platonic. I. Dear god.” Joker was rubbing his head, fingers leaving angry trails through his hair. “Speaking of platonic, that’s what she and I are. You know. Like we both said earlier. Not. Hormones, or whatever. I. Christ.” He actually laughed. “That’s like me telling you to go…I don’t know, relieve your electronic torch ladyboner for Legion. Jesus.” He laughed again, then looked up when she responded. “Don’t tell me my horrible off-color ramblings hit the mark, because if so, I’m just going to slide out of here and hit my head until I don’t know math anymore.”
“I do not have an electronic torch ladyboner for Legion,” Iris responded tartly. She covered her face with her hand, allowing a small giggle to escape at how ridiculous it all was. Here they were, facing death, and she was jealous of an AI. Of the ship’s computer. And he knew it, the bastard.
“No offe - wait, no. Take it however you want. You suck at being a bitch, Shepard.”
Iris looked up at him, wondering if she looked as conflicted and weary as he did. She settled for hugging her knees, staring at her socks for a moment before gathering herself up to look at his face again. “…it’s all right,” she said finally. “I don’t…I don’t forgive you. But it’s all right.”
“…good.” Joker pushed himself off the couch. “I guess I should try to sleep more. Fat chance it’ll work.”
“Do you want to stay here?” Iris offered, then flushed. “I’m just watching a movie,” she amended quickly.
Joker shrugged. “As long as it’s not some stupid chick flick.”
“It’s not.”
Joker looked back at the screen, then slowly turned his head to stare at the Spectre. “Really. Really?”
“It’s my favorite movie,” she said defensively.
“You would.” Joker grinned slightly, then shuffled over to the bed, carefully sitting as Iris scooted over to one side. She kept herself drawn in tightly, cursing how much she felt like a stupid teenager. She fiddled with her omnitool and dimmed the lights again.
“If you uh. Have any questions or anything.”
“I know it.”
“You do?” She looked to him, surprised.
“I mean, I haven’t watched this stuff since I was a kid, but I have seen it. Whales and all.”
“Whales and all,” Iris repeated softly, resuming the movie. Before she could turn up the volume, Joker looked over at her.
“Jeff.”
“Hm?”
“My name,” he clarified. “If you’re Shepard, then I’m Jeff.”
“If you’re Jeff…” she responded slowly, “…then I’m Iris.”
“Iris,” he said, testing it out.
“Jeff.”
“Man, this is weird.”
Iris shrugged a little. Joker grinned slightly.
“Yeah, fuck if I care right now, too.” He settled back in, turning his attention to the old movie as the Normandy made its way to the Omega 4 Relay.
Off to sleep now. Hopefully I don't wake up before my alarm again.
Anyway, I've been writing more of that fic that can't really be posted in snippets, so yup. But I beat Mass Effect 2 with my secondary Shep, Iris, today, so I wrote a little for her. She's a Colonist/Sole Survivor. So. Really traumatized. Also an Engineer, secretly a Trekkie (Scotty was the reason she chose the fighting class she did. She loves machines). Iris is very quiet - most of the dialogue options don't suit her, actually. I made her as a Joker romance, and they are adorable and very, very unsure when it comes to the other. (Read: I'm waiting for him to be announced as a love interest in ME3. Fucking do it, Bioware).
Anyway, here's some short one-shot about the time before the Suicide Mission. Takes place during what would be sexy time, if you romanced anyone.
Title: Best Laid Plans
Fandom: Mass Effect
Rating: PG-13, because Joker has a potty mouth.
Word Count: 1,304
Pairings: teasing Joker/iris. By this point they're unofficially together, but they haven't said a word to the other person about it.
Warnings: Spoilers for the end of ME2. That and nothing actually happens. Just lots of tension and stupid dialogue. Awayyyy.
Iris had a few hours left before she potentially died (again). Before Ilos, she’d spent it in silent contemplation, reading over one Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams’s file, trying to deal with the sickening roil of emotions bubbling in her stomach. Iris was long past the days when the dam had broken on her control - nearly three years, now. God.
There was nothing to handle now, no need to pick the emotions apart one by one and inspect them, relearn them - this is anger, and oh, this is friendship, and love, and fear. No, she knew all of them by now. Too damn well, part of her mind urged, and the engineer sighed, sitting on her bed heavily.
T-minus two hours. Well, three, last time EDI had made an announcement, and Iris doubted she’d been pacing around her room for a solid hour. She stared at her dresser, then opened the bottom drawer, pulling out a compact disc and cradling it. With a resigned smile and a sigh, she went over to her console, popping it in, dimming the lights, and changing into a loose, comfortable pair of civvies. She’d just gotten comfortable on the bed when a soft chime echoed throughout the loft. She sighed quietly. “Yes? Come in.”
It shouldn’t have surprised her to see Joker hobble in, but it did. Iris quickly tapped a button on her omnitool, pausing the movie. She twiddled her fingers, the lights brightening a little, allowing the pilot to make his way in. He leaned against the model case heavily, looking simultaneously uncomfortable and curious. “Commander.” He cleared his throat. “I uh.” He sighed.
“...sit down, Joker,” Iris offered quietly, upright on her bed. She waited patiently while he settled on the couch, letting out a breath and running a hand over his eyes. He looked so tired. “Weren’t you going to try to get some sleep before we hit the relay?”
“Didn’t work so well,” the pilot snorted. “Sucks when the entire ship is quiet.”
Iris didn’t mention her squadmates - she knew the feeling. Survivor’s guilt, that’s what they’d label what was going on in the flight lieutenant’s mind. It didn’t matter what they called it. Nothing changed the feeling of being stared at wherever you went, feeling their eyes on you, crawling up your spine, and even if they weren’t judging you, they were, they were, how could they not. She wondered why he’d come up here, then - it would be even worse around the commanding officer. But she teased the inside of her lip, politely averting her eyes to the space just left of him. He finally removed his cap and scrubbed at his hair, fluffing it up a bit.
“Look, I suck at this stuff, Commander.”
“Shepard,” she corrected automatically.
“Huh?”
“Joker, after all the shit that you’ve pulled us through, I think you’ve earned the right to call me Shepard. Besides you know. When I’m dying.”
“Fine, fine. Still doesn’t mean I don’t suck at this. Shepard.”
Iris shoved her hands between her knees, trying to hide how they shook a little. She swallowed a cocktail of emotions - hope, anxiety, frustration. “What exactly is ‘this,’ Joker?”
“Emotional. Wishy-washy.” He flapped a hand. “I. Hell, Shepard, I’m sorry.”
Iris blinked, feeling rather cheated. But really, it wasn’t much of a surprise. “You’re…sorry?”
“I yelled at you.” Joker was staring at her dubiously. “…after the Collector abduction,” he explained slowly.
“N-No no no. I got that. But. …why?”
“Why? Wait. You’re asking me why I’m apologizing for yelling at you?” He let out a frustrated breath and smacked himself in the face with his cap. Iris chewed on the inside of her lip. “Hell, Shepard, maybe because I meant it? Ah, crap.” Obviously, it wasn’t going the way he’d planned. At least one of them had had a plan. Iris half wondered if she’d fallen asleep and was having some weird dream. Joker didn’t apologize. Let alone twice. Let alone seek people out in their private quarters hours before they’d all certainly die just to profess said apologies.
“You wouldn’t be the first,” she admitted. W-Well. That didn’t sound right. Should she have said that at all? Damn. This - whatever it was - wasn’t going well at all.
“That just makes me feel like more of an ass,” he snapped. He looked briefly mortified, but contorted his face into a scowl when she stared at him.
“Look, Joker, if you wanted someone to properly ease your conscience, you should’ve gone to your simulated girlfriend instead.” Oh, god, what did I just say. Mamá would have given me a hard smack. Of that she was absolutely certain.
“You of all - should know - I - guilty - no - simulated girlfriend?”
It was the first time Iris had ever seen Joker really and truly flabbergasted. Her heart was knotted in her throat, amused and shamed.
“You mean EDI,” Joker continued. “Have you ever considered not everyone loves technology as much as you do? I swear, sometimes you make quarians look platonic. I. Dear god.” Joker was rubbing his head, fingers leaving angry trails through his hair. “Speaking of platonic, that’s what she and I are. You know. Like we both said earlier. Not. Hormones, or whatever. I. Christ.” He actually laughed. “That’s like me telling you to go…I don’t know, relieve your electronic torch ladyboner for Legion. Jesus.” He laughed again, then looked up when she responded. “Don’t tell me my horrible off-color ramblings hit the mark, because if so, I’m just going to slide out of here and hit my head until I don’t know math anymore.”
“I do not have an electronic torch ladyboner for Legion,” Iris responded tartly. She covered her face with her hand, allowing a small giggle to escape at how ridiculous it all was. Here they were, facing death, and she was jealous of an AI. Of the ship’s computer. And he knew it, the bastard.
“No offe - wait, no. Take it however you want. You suck at being a bitch, Shepard.”
Iris looked up at him, wondering if she looked as conflicted and weary as he did. She settled for hugging her knees, staring at her socks for a moment before gathering herself up to look at his face again. “…it’s all right,” she said finally. “I don’t…I don’t forgive you. But it’s all right.”
“…good.” Joker pushed himself off the couch. “I guess I should try to sleep more. Fat chance it’ll work.”
“Do you want to stay here?” Iris offered, then flushed. “I’m just watching a movie,” she amended quickly.
Joker shrugged. “As long as it’s not some stupid chick flick.”
“It’s not.”
Joker looked back at the screen, then slowly turned his head to stare at the Spectre. “Really. Really?”
“It’s my favorite movie,” she said defensively.
“You would.” Joker grinned slightly, then shuffled over to the bed, carefully sitting as Iris scooted over to one side. She kept herself drawn in tightly, cursing how much she felt like a stupid teenager. She fiddled with her omnitool and dimmed the lights again.
“If you uh. Have any questions or anything.”
“I know it.”
“You do?” She looked to him, surprised.
“I mean, I haven’t watched this stuff since I was a kid, but I have seen it. Whales and all.”
“Whales and all,” Iris repeated softly, resuming the movie. Before she could turn up the volume, Joker looked over at her.
“Jeff.”
“Hm?”
“My name,” he clarified. “If you’re Shepard, then I’m Jeff.”
“If you’re Jeff…” she responded slowly, “…then I’m Iris.”
“Iris,” he said, testing it out.
“Jeff.”
“Man, this is weird.”
Iris shrugged a little. Joker grinned slightly.
“Yeah, fuck if I care right now, too.” He settled back in, turning his attention to the old movie as the Normandy made its way to the Omega 4 Relay.
Off to sleep now. Hopefully I don't wake up before my alarm again.