I trudged along the sidewalk to Westbrook and I realized just how dramatically Spring sprang forth. Cats out on the green of the grass in front of CBA, squirrels chasing eachother around the sidewalks by Kimball. The only scar is torn across the southern side where the hedges used to be. They may have been an eyesore, but surgery leaves wounds,
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yeah, i know how you feel about the "ladder" thing... can we say, "never got the lead female role?" (betty from sure thing excluded, that doesn't really count as it was the ONLY real female role) and even through being drum major and all that, i still felt pretty mediocere. and now i get to sit through studio and realize that i'm the most mediocere violin major in the studio... i'm not bad... just definitely not good. it makes me wish i had been able to go to river forest where i would have been able to be a big fish in a small pond...
but, i'm here at UNL with my friends and familiarity, and i'm getting used to the fact that some people in life are just meant to be mediocere... and that seems to be me. but i can still do a damn good job of helping those students who will, with time, become a better musician that i could ever hope to be. so i'll get my spotlight from others. or, if nothing else, have people look back on thier experiences in my classes and say that they really had a good time making music. which is important too.
*deep thoughts hurting my brain*
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