(no subject)
I trudged along the sidewalk to Westbrook and I realized just how dramatically Spring sprang forth. Cats out on the green of the grass in front of CBA, squirrels chasing eachother around the sidewalks by Kimball. The only scar is torn across the southern side where the hedges used to be. They may have been an eyesore, but surgery leaves wounds, too. Birds in the trees, too, and the night air is clean and warm.
I think my favorite season must change in seasons of my life. I used to love Winter--the biting cold, clean and pure. But the vivacity, the bold statement of life, color, love, its so appealing. Its not as easy to understand as Winter. The well-defined shape of Winter is easy to recognize, but Spring has no bright lines, but must be blurred in its periphery.
I walked to rehearsal tonight as well. The downtown was just as ancient as ever, but it felt clean and beautiful because, I think, of its familiarity. In three hours' time three scenes were blocked. The choreography is very strict and 'stylized.' It may feel mechanical, but for a thriller--in context--it seems just right. Strong and bold movements. Once the music falls in place, it will be very impressive.
So now I'm sitting at the Coffee House relaxing and sucking back a strawberry lime soda. At times I'm doubting my decision to change majors. It was a wise move, but I'm trying to make sense of my needs for art and academia. Some day I really want to have a major role in a production. That might even be my problem. I feel as though I worked harder on my voice than anyone else at LL, but when the musical came around I played a bit part. I always got small parts. Or poorly written roles. It seems like I tried to work my way to the top of the ladder at Lincoln Lutheran, never got there, and then I have start all over again at UNL. The good productions now are all dominated by graduate students and adults. I've been on the ladder a really long damn time.
No need to bolster my ego. I'm fine with who I am. But I just unraveled a piece of my subconscious. A small part of my decision might have to do with the time I've put in and then the recognition and the big roles never really coming to fruition. It doesn't make my other reasons less true, but it makes me more confused. I may have to live with the fact I may never have it all. Here I have friends, investments, and a good cheap education, but all there is in theatre is an environment saturated with more experienced actors or singers.
Well, those are my thoughts today. I think I will try to write more often, for my own purposes. It was so enjoyable having coffee last Wednesday, so I will put this forward: I'm going to get coffee after church, and anyone is welcome. Have a good night, and adieu.
I think my favorite season must change in seasons of my life. I used to love Winter--the biting cold, clean and pure. But the vivacity, the bold statement of life, color, love, its so appealing. Its not as easy to understand as Winter. The well-defined shape of Winter is easy to recognize, but Spring has no bright lines, but must be blurred in its periphery.
I walked to rehearsal tonight as well. The downtown was just as ancient as ever, but it felt clean and beautiful because, I think, of its familiarity. In three hours' time three scenes were blocked. The choreography is very strict and 'stylized.' It may feel mechanical, but for a thriller--in context--it seems just right. Strong and bold movements. Once the music falls in place, it will be very impressive.
So now I'm sitting at the Coffee House relaxing and sucking back a strawberry lime soda. At times I'm doubting my decision to change majors. It was a wise move, but I'm trying to make sense of my needs for art and academia. Some day I really want to have a major role in a production. That might even be my problem. I feel as though I worked harder on my voice than anyone else at LL, but when the musical came around I played a bit part. I always got small parts. Or poorly written roles. It seems like I tried to work my way to the top of the ladder at Lincoln Lutheran, never got there, and then I have start all over again at UNL. The good productions now are all dominated by graduate students and adults. I've been on the ladder a really long damn time.
No need to bolster my ego. I'm fine with who I am. But I just unraveled a piece of my subconscious. A small part of my decision might have to do with the time I've put in and then the recognition and the big roles never really coming to fruition. It doesn't make my other reasons less true, but it makes me more confused. I may have to live with the fact I may never have it all. Here I have friends, investments, and a good cheap education, but all there is in theatre is an environment saturated with more experienced actors or singers.
Well, those are my thoughts today. I think I will try to write more often, for my own purposes. It was so enjoyable having coffee last Wednesday, so I will put this forward: I'm going to get coffee after church, and anyone is welcome. Have a good night, and adieu.