Hello Friends
Hey,
If you want to know how I currently feel, listen to the song "The Water Under the Moon" by A Hawk and A Hacksaw. I don't think my mood has ever been expressed so well instrumentally.
Anyway..
A lot of times people use a road in an anology for life. That's what I'm about to do. I'm in the middle of the road of life right now. I either have to make a decision one way or the other, because this isn't working. I know what I want to do, and I know what's right. These are opposite sides of the road. In the long run, I'll be happier with the second path. It's just nearly impossible to force myself onto that side.
I wrote a real neat song today upon arriving at home...
The play is the tragedy "Man"
And its hero the conqueror, Worm.
-Edgar Allen Poe
Edit:
I commented this on Mitchells Livejournal, I thought it was worthy of being in here.
My list:
-I want to make other people happy.
-I want to focus less on myself and more about other people.
-I want to stop judging people before i meet or get to know them.
-I want to create musically something that will make someone, anyone, say "wow". Even if it is myself.
-I want to not be bored, not be content with where things are, not settle, not allow my dreams to be crushed by others, and not let what people not close to me say or do affect me emotionally.
-I want to change, but I want to be myself.
-I want to give up my addiction to change, but become addicted to progress.
-I want to learn how to love other people more.
-I want you to listen to the new Mono. I just got it. It is wonderful.
-X-I feel like everything I do, my influence in everyones lives is insignificant. Everyone has had someone like me before, whatever relationship we share. I will probably lose touch with these people, and again, they will meet someone new, exactly like me. In makes me feel insignificant. I feel that everything I do, everything I say, everything I write, everything I speak...it's completely insignificant. If the last month had passed without me nothing would be different, no one would feel any better or worse, the world would not be different. It things like these that get me down. I think it's the boredom that starts it. I hate being alone. I say alone because it seems like anymore the only time I feel happy with what's going on is when I'm with others. Anything else feels pointless after a while. I'm so sick of letting people down and I'm so sick of being like everybody else. I don't want to force individuality because I think that's one of the saddest things I've seen. But oh well, I'll continue being that guy number 2, 3, 4...or whatever. I'll see you soon, and I'll play the part in your life that all the actors like me play.
If you want to know how I currently feel, listen to the song "The Water Under the Moon" by A Hawk and A Hacksaw. I don't think my mood has ever been expressed so well instrumentally.
Anyway..
A lot of times people use a road in an anology for life. That's what I'm about to do. I'm in the middle of the road of life right now. I either have to make a decision one way or the other, because this isn't working. I know what I want to do, and I know what's right. These are opposite sides of the road. In the long run, I'll be happier with the second path. It's just nearly impossible to force myself onto that side.
I wrote a real neat song today upon arriving at home...
The play is the tragedy "Man"
And its hero the conqueror, Worm.
-Edgar Allen Poe
Edit:
I commented this on Mitchells Livejournal, I thought it was worthy of being in here.
My list:
-I want to make other people happy.
-I want to focus less on myself and more about other people.
-I want to stop judging people before i meet or get to know them.
-I want to create musically something that will make someone, anyone, say "wow". Even if it is myself.
-I want to not be bored, not be content with where things are, not settle, not allow my dreams to be crushed by others, and not let what people not close to me say or do affect me emotionally.
-I want to change, but I want to be myself.
-I want to give up my addiction to change, but become addicted to progress.
-I want to learn how to love other people more.
-I want you to listen to the new Mono. I just got it. It is wonderful.
-X-I feel like everything I do, my influence in everyones lives is insignificant. Everyone has had someone like me before, whatever relationship we share. I will probably lose touch with these people, and again, they will meet someone new, exactly like me. In makes me feel insignificant. I feel that everything I do, everything I say, everything I write, everything I speak...it's completely insignificant. If the last month had passed without me nothing would be different, no one would feel any better or worse, the world would not be different. It things like these that get me down. I think it's the boredom that starts it. I hate being alone. I say alone because it seems like anymore the only time I feel happy with what's going on is when I'm with others. Anything else feels pointless after a while. I'm so sick of letting people down and I'm so sick of being like everybody else. I don't want to force individuality because I think that's one of the saddest things I've seen. But oh well, I'll continue being that guy number 2, 3, 4...or whatever. I'll see you soon, and I'll play the part in your life that all the actors like me play.