Party Fic - The Chronicles of Chibi!Spock
Commander Spock’s Guide to Child Rearing - How to win an argument with your four year old
It was Sulu who first used the name Chibi-Spock.
Jarock had been two years old at the time. That week's crisis had seen them under attack - no-one could ever agree on which crisis it had been later, it all came of Jim's ridiculously laid back approach to his paperwork - and Jarock was at the age where he was toddling around, getting in-between everyone's legs.
They hadn't even noticed he was on the bridge until a particularly strong impact sent him flying onto his rump. He squawked, and then started to scream.
'Damn it, can't anyone keep Chibi-Spock under control?' Sulu snapped. 'Some of us are trying to to keep us from dying a terrible death and need to concentrate!'
'What did you call him?' asked Jim, intrigued.
'Huh... what? Oh damn!' Sulu was too distracted to answer but Chekov obliged. 'Is small child in Japan! Keptin, we hawe three nuclear wessels approaching!'
'Right,' said Jim. 'Uhura, try and see if you can get them to talk to you; Sulu, ready the photon torpedoes; Chekov get a position on these wessels; and Spock -,' he grinned. 'Get Chibi-Spock out of here!'
And just like that the name had stuck. And there was nothing - nothing - Spock could do to unstick it.
At four years old Jarock was more solemn than any child of Nyota's had any right to be; but he had clearly inherited his several of his mother's talents which included a way with languages, wrapping his father around his little finger and getting exactly what he wanted.
And right now what he wanted was to join the band.
'But, Father,' he was saying earnestly. 'I have a tambourine.'
Spock was going to kill Jim for getting him that tambourine, and also for putting unsuitable ideas into his son's head.
'Your argument is irrelevant,' he said firmly. 'A Rock-band is no place for a four-year old, and the concerts take place after your bed time.'
Jarock pondered this. The child was incapable of staying up late. He had tried but unless he had a nap in the afternoon, (which Jarock had dismissed because it was illogical to sleep in the day), he would fall asleep. Sometimes in the oddest of places.
'There have been day-concerts,' he said eventually. 'I could just go to those. Uncle Jimmy says that if I don't take the stage soon, Chibi-Spock fans will break down the gates to see me.'
Spock was going to kill Jim painfully.
'Your name is not Chibi-Spock and you do not have fans.'
When Jarock had been born Spock had asked Jim to watch over the child, after all, it was space and anything could happen.
'You mean you want me to be the Godfather?'
'Neither Nyota or I have any such religious beliefs. However if ever something were to happen to incapacitate us, we would like you to assume guardianship,' he had clarified.
Jim had responded by hugging Spock entirely too tightly to be appropriate and sobbing into his shirt. He had then proceeded to carry out his 'Godfatherly' responsibilities by trying to be as bad an influence as possible. Well, maybe that wasn't fair, but Spock wished he would stop talking to Jarock. Every time he did the child would get more and more ridiculous ideas.
Jarock's lower lip was beginning to wibble dangerously.
'Don't you want me to play with you, Daddy?' He clutched his toy Sehlat closer. Dr McCoy had provided the toy, and Jim had named it in what Spock suspected was not an entirely sober moment. Jarock refused to go anywhere without it. Hmm...
'It isn't that I don't want you. I am simply concerned for Ichabod -'
'Sir Ichabod Euphrates Cuddlypants the Third!' corrected Jarock.
'Yes, him. You know how vicious fans get. Remember how they keep attacking Uncle Jimmy? Poor man hardly makes it off the stage with his shirt intact. Sir Ichabod's welfare is worrying me.'
Jarock considered this. 'When I learn the Vulcan Nerve Pinch, I would be able to ward off such advances.'
'But you are unable to do so now, are you not?'
Jarock shook his head.
'Then I shall consider this exchange over. It is time for bed. We shall return to your quarters and I will have no more arguments'
For all he was used to getting his own way, Jarock knew when he was beaten. That didn't stop him wanting some concessions.
'Pick me up!' he demanded. Spock sighed and lifted his son up.
A couple of new female ensigns saw them.
'Aww, how cute! It's Chibi-Spock!' one of them squealed.
Jarock grinned and flashed them the Vulcan salute. 'Live Long and Prosper, Bitches!' he said.
Spock was going to kill Jim, slowly, painfully and with something sharp!