[FIC] "Dark was the Night," a gift for emmademarais
Title: Dark was the Night
Author: granttroyturner
A Gift For: emmademarais
Characters/Pairings: Charles/Erik
Rating: PG13
Length: ~5000
Summary: Both Erik and Charles are seriously injured (car wreck? sudden attack?) and Erik must overcome both searing pain and a failing body to get help for Charles and himself.
Gott, höre mein Gebet und laß mein Schreien zu dir kommen.
“I will drive.” Erik tells him grinning from ear to ear in genuine glee that has Charles smiling even wider if that was even possible. They have stumbled out of the pub that was miles away from the Westchester estate, miles away from Alex’s temperament, miles away from Sean and his super sonic screams to which he may have broke all of Sharon’s good China, miles away from Raven and Hank’s awkward flirting, miles away from having to hide in abandoned rooms, broom closets, wherever Erik found that he could kidnap Charles away for moments at a time. Even now he was pinning the Professor-his Professor against a brick wall in an alleyway that was as dark as Erik’s heart used to be. That was until a man that looked younger than his age had given him more than his life, and happy memories from his short lived childhood. He gave him unconditional respect, and Erik was blessed with an equal. He was torn from his thoughts once Charles squirmed from under him in an attempt to escape with light laughter, but even distracted Erik was still quicker body moving quicker than his mind.
He pulled Charles back deeper into the alley that he could barely see the drunken gaze the telepath was giving him. “Come on Liebe give me the keys. We’ll send the brats to bed, and I’ll put you to mine.”
“What if I’m too tired?” Charles teased as he faked a yawn. Erik cocked his head his eyes trailing from side to side. The streets were relatively empty with the patrons of the bar yelling about, and he could still feel the thumping of music or was that his heart? Erik closed the distance between him and his blue eyed lover. They were safe for now plus Erik wouldn’t let any harm from ignorant humans come to them. He placed his hands on the other’s hips, and sheisse! Way too many layers...damn coat. His hands trailed up and over Charles’ stomach then his chest where he gripped the offensive fabric and brings Charles’ lips to his.
Charles,the fucker, laughs in his mouth, but Erik pays no mind still manages to slip his tongue in and quiet the old fool. The kiss is sloppy, and hard as it tends to get when both men have had a little too much to drink. They don’t care and it doesn’t matter. Their life is on its way to be hard and complicated. Their relationship is pretty damn sloppy at this point. Erik breaks away as Charles finally gets in the mood and his hands begin roaming the German’s body settling on the waistline of his pants.
“You’re right that was pretty tiring.” Erik sighed taking the telepath’s hands off of him. “To bed it is then?”
Verbirg nicht vor mir in meiner not an mich wenden und rasch Antwort mein Gebet.
“Keys are in my coat pocket on the right and I expect to see you in my shower instead I smell like a distillery.” Charles tells him in that low voice that gives way to his state of arousal. Erik gestures with his fingers for the keys feeling them twitch and shuffle their way out of Charles’ pocket.
He then snatches them out of the air and grabs the telepath’s cold hand. It’s soft against his calloused stained with blood ones. It’s thoughts like these that make him release Charles’ hand almost immediately under the pretense of ‘we can’t be lovers in public’, but it’s so much more. So much more than Charles wants to see and Erik wants to not be true.
“Stop getting lost in your thoughts my love.” Charles orders while giving the metal manipulator a light shove towards his father’s classic Rolls Royce. He was having a glorious night happy to give Erik a night away from training, the students, thoughts of his revenge on Shaw which the reminder usually served to kill the entire mood between them.
“You first.” Erik retorts as he opens the passenger door gesturing for Charles to get inside holding back the urge to climb in after him and take him then and there for all to see. The interior was pretty roomy and they’ve yet to find a vehicle in the garage that would accomodate for their activities. He shuts the door once the telepath is in there securely and shakes his head as a kiss is blown at him. Either Charles was really drunk, or had never been in love before.
Love
Die Liebe
Zami?owanie
Amor
Ewigen Gott, die Quelle der Heilung, von meiner Bedrängnis rufe ich Sie.
He’s watching him. Erik can pretty much feel the telepath boring a hole into his face, but he doesn’t look. He’s keeping his eyes on the road knowing that even though Charles was definitely not in a state to be driving Erik himself wasn’t entirely sober which is why he was thrown off at Charles’ next words.
“I wouldn’t care if you never said it back to me.” Charles stares at Erik with unfocused eyes watching as Erik’s eyes became wide and his grip on the wheel tightened. “My mother barely said it to me so it’s not something I’m accustomed to anyway. This is not to garner sympathy I assure you.”
Now Erik sneaks a peek at Charles who merely smiles and then turns back to the front. Erik knows what he’s talking about but he wants clarification. He wants the doubt, because the faith was just overwhelming at times.
“Say what?” he asks making a turn down some dark road that was sure to have a deer or two along it.
“I love you of course!” Charles cries suddenly and then gives a wistful sigh. Erik doesn’t respond for awhile not wanting to linger on this topic.
Helfen sie mir Sinn Ihre anwesenheit In dieser schwierigen Zeit.
“I care for you meine liebe.” Erik concedes reaching a hand out and placing it gently on Charles’ face caressing his cheek with a thumb.
“I know.” Charles leans into the touch. “I do want to believe in forever with us though. I know Raven would be quite disappointed that she couldn’t plan my wedding.”
Erik ignores the first part of Charles’ comment, but chuckles at the latter. “I’m sure she’s worried about being able to plan hers.”
Charles doesn’t answer instead he’s tilted his head so that Erik’s thumb is now conveniently settled on the man’s luscious lips. Charles parts them and runs his warm tongue around it. Erik groans with anticipation pushing the gas pedal a little more forcefully now. If he felt a little more coordinate he would be testing the complexity of his powers and auto-piloting this contraption. He steals a look over to Charles who’s eyes are closed, red lips around the German’s thumb sucking it slowly. It takes all of Erik’s willpower not to slam on the brakes and have Charles suck him off.
“Stay focused now my friend.” Charles teases as he takes off his seatbelt much to Erik’s dismay.
“Charles.” he warns, but doesn’t get far as the smell of vodka evades his senses. Charles is now caressing the left side of Erik’s neck with one hand, long abandoning his finger and running a tongue along the right side all the way up to his earlobe sending shivers throughout the man’s body. “The things I’m gonna do to you, lab rat.”
“I hate when you call me that.” Charles says in his ear.
“I hate it when you tease me like this.” Erik retorts. He uses his hand to push the telepath away only to get a pout. Erik looks over and smirks. “Now don’t---”
Schenke mir Geduld wenn die stunden sind sehr schwer verletzt; oder die Enttäuschung geben mir Mut.
Whoever said that your life flashes before your eyes before you die lied. Erik could only stay in the here and the now. There were no epiphanies, no 'i wish i had’, no flashbacks to the murders, the camps, the training, his parents...he couldn’t even remember their names! What was in the here and the now was the sheer look of terror registered on Charles’ face only highlighted by the headlight blinding his face, the sound of crushing metal and oh how ironic that he would die surrounded by metal. One second Charles was right beside him face only millimeters from his, and the next he was thrown against the windshield as if he were a mere ragdoll.
No No No No No No NO
Then nothing...
Informieren Sie mich vertrauensvoll in Deine Liebe.
The moment Erik came to he hadn’t known where he was, but his head hurt like hell and he was held upside down by the strap of his seatbelt. He blinked a few times hissing as soon as some blood fell into his eye stinging it. The mutant moved a shaky hand to his head where there was a likely gash from his hairline towards the middle of his brow. He leaned back from the steering wheel some of his surroundings coming into view and his vision swarmed. His stomach churned and he closed his eyes just for a moment before...
Charles!
He opened his eyes his mind telling him not to panic, but his body wouldn’t comply. His search fell on a pair of legs lying awkwardly below Erik, but he couldn’t see Charles’ face since it seemed he went through the windshield.
No No No No No
He moved to take off the seatbelt that was currently keeping him away from Charles, but a shooting pain shot from his shoulder down to his fingers.
“FUCK!” he yelled although it sounded like there was cotton in his mouth. He took a few frustrated breaths and then tried again. Getting out of that car was everything to him at that moment. Finally he was back right side up although he was pretty sure his shoulder was dislocated. Erik grabbed the edge of the driver’s side window where the glass had busted out during the crash down the hill and hoisted himself through the narrow opening. It was hard putting all his weight into one arm, but he had extraordinary upper body strength. Glass was strewn everywhere and a few small pieces were already embedded in his hand.
Once he was free he rolled on his back catching the clear night sky peaceful and undisturbed unlike him and Charles’ situation.
Charles
Gib mir Kraft für den heutigen Tag, und die Hoffnung für morgen
Erik was on his feet a mere two seconds before collapsing back on his knees when he caught site of Charles. He let out a strangled cry while crawling over to his friend...his lover...his.
“Charles!” Erik examined for injuries blanching at the sight. Blood was matted to the mutant’s forehead which looked like a massive head injury, his face was cut up from what looked like shards of glass, and worst off he didn’t seem to be breathing. “Mein Gott.”
His stomach churned again at the smell of burning rubber and he managed to crawl a good five feet before the contents of his stomach made its way back up into the dewy grass. This wasn’t happening! They should be back by now stumbling up the lengthy staircase where Erik would grope Charles all the way back to his room, and oh how much time has passed? Shouldn’t someone be worried? Erik didn’t have any concept of how much time had passed between them leaving the pub and now. Plus, he was pretty sure that no one would even raise a brow to them missing in action. They were probably into their own trivialities that they didn’t even know their beloved Professor, the man that took each of them into their home was dead or dying.
Tears stung Erik’s eyes then and he told himself it was from the strain of vomiting. He was pretty sure his stomach had completely emptied itself out and came back to Charles’ side.
Check his breathing
Erik placed his head on the telepath’s chest and held his own breath while trying to listen to a heartbeat.
thadump...........thadump...............thadump
It was there. It was slow, but it was there.
Deiner liebevollen Hände lege ich meinen Geist Wenn ich schlafe und wenn wach.
“Oh my God, George!” screamed the female inhabitant of a little off the road house that Erik had spotted a mile from the accident. He couldn’t feel his arms, he couldn’t feel his legs, his head and shoulder felt as though they were on fire and he couldn’t stay focused on one object. “George! Call an ambulance!”
The woman gestured for Erik to come into her home, but his legs just wouldn’t function. Charles was laying in his arms soaking his sleeve in blood breathing getting shallower and shallower by the minute so Erik trekked on.
An older man who looked about 50 came into view, and there seemed to be two of them just then. Erik blinked them away furiously.
“Put him here.” the woman directed Erik who shook his head vehemently. He wouldn’t let go of Charles, couldn’t let him be out of his sight. When Charles did wake up Erik wanted the telepath to see him first. See that he didn’t...wouldn’t leave him. Unfortunately, his body didn’t feel the same way and the room tilted before consuming itself in darkness.
Höre mein Gebet, HERR, folgen sie meinem plädoyer für barmherzigkeit
Once Erik came to again he half expected to be back in that dreadful car, but was assaulted with smells of antiseptic, and white walls. He shot up wincing when a bout of dizziness caught up with him. His left arm was in a sling and he could feel an ice pack was placed over his bruised shoulder. He touched his forehead feeling a bandage there as well with a sigh he picked up his bearings and ripped out the IV that was in his arm. That feeling of nausea came about him again, his heart pounded against his chest as if it would burst out any moment. He needed to get to Charles. Oh, where was he?
Zur Zeit der Not rufe ich Euch auf, denn du erhörst mich.
Charles, are you alright? Mein Liebe please....
Nothing. No matter how loud he spoke in his mind, no matter how far he opened his mind to welcome the telepath’s presence it never came. Was it really the same day they snuck away to the wine cellar where Charles touched all the right places, invited Erik to enter all the sensitive ones, and uttered three words, three syllables, and eight letters? The same night where Charles then whisked him away for dinner and drinks wanting some sense of a normal date, but what good was it when their touches and gazes couldn’t linger more than a few seconds without raising red flags? One day they would except us too, Charles had uttered wistfully. Erik said nothing not wanting to ruin the mood, or the rest of the night where he planned to thank Charles for the evening. Then came the request for the keys, the drive, the crunch of metal that he couldn’t get a grip on, the blood...the blood that didn’t bring him any satisfaction to see spilled. There was no hesitation for Erik to rip off his sweater, and tear pieces of fabric to staunch Charles’ bleeding. He squeezed his eyes shut to will away the images.
Erik couldn’t find his pants, but found his jacket hanging in the tiny closet by the bathroom. He could get through the pain shooting throughout his body, he could get through the medication that was making him woozy, he could get through the nausea, but what he figured he couldn’t get through was Charles never being in his life again.
Wenn der Schmerz und der Krankheit sind meine Begleiter, und es wird raum in meinem Herzen stärke.
“You!”
Erik’s head whipped around to see Raven standing there her face stained with tearstreaks, but her eyes instead of the usual blue was an angry yellow.
“Raven” Erik choked out before she stalked up to him and shoved him several times against the wall. Erik knew the girl wasn’t giving all her strength otherwise it would have taken all of one shove.
“What” shove “did” shove “you” slap “do” shove “to him” sob
Erik just stood slack and slid down the wall into a sitting position feeling all the energy drained from him. He couldn’t even look at her. She stood towering above him her fist clenched tightly shaking with angry sobs.
“They said you had been drinking” Raven finally choked out. “But that it had been another drunk driver on the road that had hit you.”
Rage and relief boiled inside of Erik. So it wasn’t him that had caused harm to them both, but another stupid human. He wanted to hurt something...someone.
“He’s dead.” Raven replies. “I confirmed for myself.”
“What?!” cried Erik feeling as if the room was closing in and finally looking up at Raven.
“Erik” Raven crouched down and took a hold of both of Erik’s shaking shoulders. Her anger seem to disappate at the sight of this broken down version of Erik. He looked at least ten years older, bandaged at the head, arm in a sling, and it then dawned on her that he didn’t get off unscathed. “Breathe Erik.”
“He c-cant b-b-be dead” Erik practically grips Raven’s forearm with his right hand and she gives him a confused look before she gives an ‘O’ of surprise.
“No not Charles” she clarifies softly. “He’s about to be put into the ICU. The surgery went alrigh--”
“Take me to him” Erik interrupts. “Please.”
Wenn die Tage und Nächte sind voller Dunkelheit, laß das licht Mut ihren Platz finden.
Raven stops the wheelchair at the end of Charles’ hospital bed. It was the only way she was allowed to bring Erik here much to his protesting even though he couldn’t stand for more than five minutes on his own. The only sound in the room was the constant beepbeepbeepbeepbeep of the machine monitoring Charles’ heartbeat. The scenery it didn’t match. Nothing seemed right. Erik’s eyes went from the dozen machines hooked up to his lover, to the oxygen tube up his nose, to the bandages, and the IV. Erik buried his head in his hand keeping tears at bay. He wouldn’t break not now.
“They said he suffered a massive head trauma, they relieved the swelling in his brain so the next 72 hours is going to be crucial.” Raven explained and she went on and on about his other injuries ones that minored in comparison. How she told everyone back at home that she had lied and said the two men needed a ride home from the pub as to not worry them until she knew what was going on. Erik heard only bits and pieces of words that came from her mouth. He hadn’t felt this distressed since he and his family were snatched away from their home in the dead of night. He didn’t miss this feeling of helplessness and worry about a loved one. A loved one...
“I love him.” Erik muttered in revelation. Raven looked down at him questioningly, but suddenly the room erupted into chaos before either of them registered what was going on.
Helfen sie mir unter den Entbehrungen und das Auflösen der angst; erneuere in mir die Ruhe Geist des Vertrauens und des Friedens.
Raven is screaming out questions no one was answering as the doctors and nurses rushed in speaking amongst themselves. The machine was now flat lining and they were opening Charles’ gown.
No No No No. They hadn’t had enough time.
“Get them out of here!” one of the doctors shouts to the nurse while he picks up two paddles.
He could feel his power taking control and all the metal in the vicinity began to vibrate. This wasn’t going to help matters. He was torn between staying and watching Charles die, or leaving and making sure he didn’t get hurt anymore.
“Take me away.” Erik grabs onto Raven’s cuff. She looks at him wildly. “Now before I do something.”
Raven seems to notice the metal blinds shaking, as well as the metal in the entire room seemed to be giving a gentle hum.
“What the hell?!” cries a nurse and Raven promptly takes Erik out and down the hall not able to contain her sobs.
They get settled in the waiting room where Raven has sat in a chair and was sobbing quietly in Erik’s lap while the metal manipulator ran a gentle hand over her head. He closed his eyes expecting that familiar presence back in his head, but it never came. Was he never able to keep anyone he cared about safe? The doubts that had plague his mind about sticking around after this Shaw debacle were now growing ten fold. Fighting for human-mutant co-existence when humans were already a self-destructive race. He should be out there making sure mutants were the dominant race, not sticking around to see Charles be disappointed time after time, so that he could say ‘I told you so’.
“So you two---”
“They have a chapel here?” Erik asks once again interrupting the shapeshifter to her annoyance. She lifted her head and looked into his weary bloodshot eyes. Has he cried yet? She felt so young, so unprotected. She needed Charles. She needed Charles to be alright. She didn’t need Charles to be taken away from her, for his time to be monopolized any longer. Suddenly, being so resentful, and her eagerness to leave and be independent seemed to dissolve.
“I-I think so” she answers sitting up from Erik’s lap. “I didn’t know you were religious.”
Erik swallows a lump back in his throat. “I hope that if there is a God he’ll listen to what I have to say.”
Boruch Atah Adonai, Ro-fei HaCholim Wir loben dich, o Gott, Heiler der Kranken
Raven looked over to Erik where she had been kneeling at the front of the chapel next to his wheelchair. Tears fell from her eyes as she listened to his prayers. Even though the man was Jewish Raven recognized the language to be German and was thoroughly intrigued. She knew no prayers herself only offering words of desperation.
Save my brother. Please if there is a higher power I will do anything. I’ll help him with his school. I’ll stop interfering with his love life. I’ll stop blaming him for my insecurities just please don’t take him from me.
She looked back to Erik where a tear escaped from his eye. Raven reached out and brushed it away tenderly from his cheek.
“S-say it again” Raven told him in a shaky whisper. Erik looked to Charles’ little sister, and for the first time her human appearance didn’t bother him. Nothing mattered, but for Charles to live. Nothing mattered but Charles. Her eyes were back to blue and for a minute there it was almost as if he were staring into Charles’. Did she always mimic the telepath’s eyes, or was this unintentional? Erik looked back at the alter before him reaching out to clasp Raven’s hand which she gripped, and he began to repeat the prayer. Raven stared at their joined hands, then she closed her eyes as her heart began to pick up its pace, and mouthed what she could to Erik’s prayer.
“Ewigen gott, die quelle der heilung, von meiner bedrängnis rufe ich sie.” Erik chants aloud putting his heart and soul into all the words. For the first time in 20 years he was going to put all his faith in a higher power.
The next four days on the other hand was hell.
Erik was discharged the second day of admittance, and hadn’t left Charles’ side since.
He had sent Raven home to update everyone of the situation and to continue training like Charles would have wanted.
On the third day
On the third day of nothing, but the steady beep of machines (and he was grateful for that), of the silence in his mind, of the lack of movement from the bed before him, Moira had come. Weeping tears at the sight of the man she gave one too many lingering looks to. Erik was too exhausted to even scowl at her, but accepted the change of clothes and the home cooked meal from the agent. Together they sat side by side in silence until Moira offered her own prayers to which Erik thanked her for.
On the fourth day
That damned fourth day Charles flat lined again. Erik blanched and was practically torn away by three orderlies from the telepath’s side. It was 45 minutes before the doctor informed him under the pretense that they were cousins that it was just a small scare, but the swelling in Charles’ brain was finally down. Now it was just a matter of wait and see.
On the fifth day
The fifth day of more nothing Erik had about enough of worrying. He shut the door to Charles’ private room. Gone were half of the machines keeping his friend alive, and the tube going down his throat was gone as well. He shut the blinds to the room to give them some privacy before moving towards the bed. Even with one fully functional arm Erik managed to move the telepath over a few inches before climbing on the bed and placed a hand on Charles’ face reminiscent of this gesture just before the accident. Erik blinked several times as tears stung his eyes. He was beyond exhausted to will them away. Running on a severe lack of sleep, and an abundance of coffee was taking its toll. He brushed a few wayward pieces of hair off of Charles’ forehead taking in his soft skin, and too pale skin. Erik places a chaste kiss to the telepath’s chapped lips before continuing his caressing.
“Charles you have to wake up.” Erik says in a whisper. “Every day, every hour, every minute, every second you don’t wake up is stolen time from us. You can’t leave the kids alone, because I wouldn’t be good for them. I can’t carry your vision for you, meine liebe.” Erik tears his eyes away and buries himself in the crook of Charles’ neck. The familiar smell of mint, and leaves evaded Erik’s senses and closed his eyes. Then he moved his hand from his face and brought it to rest over the telepath’s heart. “What I’m saying is I’d have nothing to stay here for. Shaw wouldn’t be too hard to find, not if I can break his telepath out and convince her to work with me. So if you love me as you said, and if you don’t want that to happen you better wake up now Charles Francis Xavier, you naive old fool.”
Nothing.
No movement.
Just the steady rise and fall of his chest.
Ich vermisse dich. Ohne dich kann ich nicht leben. Ich liebe dich, Erik thinks to himself with almost a startled realization, but he was too tired to care. He would give anything to be able to tell Charles himself, while they were both home and healthy.
“Would telling me while I was here and awake do?”
Erik’s eyes shot open, and he sat up quickly. Erik hovered over the telepath’s face, a familiar feeling evading his mind as if grasping for a connection. Erik grabbed Charles’ hand and brought it to his lips watching as Charles’ eyelids fluttered open.
“Charles.” Erik gasps in amazement, and his eyes filled with tears and relief.
“I can’t believe you would think of replacing me with another telepath” joked Charles while licking his lips. “If it’s the outfit I think we may be able to work out a compromise.”
Erik snorted and couldn’t wait another minute before leaning in for another kiss. However, Charles evaded it at the last minute so that all Erik’s lips met was a warm cheek.
“Nope.” Charles tells him shortly, but with the ghost of a playful smile coming across his features. “I want to hear it.”
Erik sighed and nodded. “Ok, but you can’t coax me to say it again.”
“Deal.” Charles says licking his lips and making eye contact with Erik.
“I...” Erik takes a deep breath and Charles gestures for him to continue. “Ich--”
“English pleassseeee” Charles sing songs. Erik keeps a glare at bay right now he was so thankful for this moment that he couldn’t really be annoyed. He did wish for this opportunity.
“I love you, Charles.” he finally gets out.
“Ah that wasn’t so bad,” Charles smiles. “Perhaps I should get into life or death situations more often.”
Erik’s eyes fall as well as his demeanor. “That’s not funny Charles.”
Charles tightens his grip on Erik’s hand realizing how stupid that comment actually was. He could only imagine what Erik had gone through, and he may even ask Erik’s permission to experience it through his eyes if only so Erik would have an understanding outlet. “I’m sorry my love. I’m sorry.”
He moves a few more inches and Erik nods placing a kiss on the telepath’s forehead and raising his arm to place under Charles’ shoulders. Charles settles into this position and closes his eyes feeling slightly tired again.
“Charles please just talk to me.” Erik practically pleads. He’s seen enough of Charles’ eyelids, and hasn’t heard enough of his voice. “About anything...how about that wedding? If we were to have a wedding what would it be like?”
“Is this a marriage proposal too?” Charles asks with a chuckle to which Erik shook his head.
“Let’s not get carried away, huh?” Erik answers while kissing the top of his lover’s head. “So, wedding?”
Charles raises one of his hands and touches his head brushing against the large bandage of his hair. Erik grimaces as the hand roaming grows more frantic.
“Erik!” Charles practically shrieks. “Did they shave my hair?”
“You would look positively gorgeous in white, I think.” Erik begins ignoring the cries of indignation, and swear words erupting from his love’s mouth. “Your hair would be back by then.”
End
At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing, where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, is usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them, the people that are still with you at the end of the day - those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need. -Meredith Grey
It’s probably obvious that I used an online translation system I should have acquired a beta to edit this. I’m sorry if this isn’t up to par it’s been an ongoing battle of trying to keep my laptop alive (viruses galore). The two prayers I used are Jewish prayers, but I couldn’t find them in Hebrew so here are the English translations:
God, hear my prayer,
And let my cry come to You.
Do not hide from me in the day of my distress
Turn to me and speedily answer my prayer.
Eternal God, Source of healing,
Out of my distress I call upon You.
Help me sense Your presence
At this difficult time.
Grant me patience when the hours are heavy;
In hurt or disappointment give me courage.
Keep me trustful in Your love.
Give me strength for today, and hope for tomorrow.
To your loving hands I commit my spirit
When asleep and when awake. You are with me; I shall not fear.
and
You are mighty, Lord, who brings healing to the sick,
You are great in granting salvation,
providing the living with sustenance, with lovingkindness,
caring for the sick with great mercies,
supporting the fallen, healing the sick,
releasing the captive,
and keeping faith with those who are lost among the living,
Who is like you, Master of mighty acts, and who compares to you,
King who restores health, and causes salvation to sprout,
You who are faithful, comforting the ill among us,
Blessed are You, Lord who heals the sick.
Also Erik tells Charles near the end: I miss you. I can’t live without you. I love you.
Hope you had a wonderful holiday :)
Author: granttroyturner
A Gift For: emmademarais
Characters/Pairings: Charles/Erik
Rating: PG13
Length: ~5000
Summary: Both Erik and Charles are seriously injured (car wreck? sudden attack?) and Erik must overcome both searing pain and a failing body to get help for Charles and himself.
Gott, höre mein Gebet und laß mein Schreien zu dir kommen.
“I will drive.” Erik tells him grinning from ear to ear in genuine glee that has Charles smiling even wider if that was even possible. They have stumbled out of the pub that was miles away from the Westchester estate, miles away from Alex’s temperament, miles away from Sean and his super sonic screams to which he may have broke all of Sharon’s good China, miles away from Raven and Hank’s awkward flirting, miles away from having to hide in abandoned rooms, broom closets, wherever Erik found that he could kidnap Charles away for moments at a time. Even now he was pinning the Professor-his Professor against a brick wall in an alleyway that was as dark as Erik’s heart used to be. That was until a man that looked younger than his age had given him more than his life, and happy memories from his short lived childhood. He gave him unconditional respect, and Erik was blessed with an equal. He was torn from his thoughts once Charles squirmed from under him in an attempt to escape with light laughter, but even distracted Erik was still quicker body moving quicker than his mind.
He pulled Charles back deeper into the alley that he could barely see the drunken gaze the telepath was giving him. “Come on Liebe give me the keys. We’ll send the brats to bed, and I’ll put you to mine.”
“What if I’m too tired?” Charles teased as he faked a yawn. Erik cocked his head his eyes trailing from side to side. The streets were relatively empty with the patrons of the bar yelling about, and he could still feel the thumping of music or was that his heart? Erik closed the distance between him and his blue eyed lover. They were safe for now plus Erik wouldn’t let any harm from ignorant humans come to them. He placed his hands on the other’s hips, and sheisse! Way too many layers...damn coat. His hands trailed up and over Charles’ stomach then his chest where he gripped the offensive fabric and brings Charles’ lips to his.
Charles,the fucker, laughs in his mouth, but Erik pays no mind still manages to slip his tongue in and quiet the old fool. The kiss is sloppy, and hard as it tends to get when both men have had a little too much to drink. They don’t care and it doesn’t matter. Their life is on its way to be hard and complicated. Their relationship is pretty damn sloppy at this point. Erik breaks away as Charles finally gets in the mood and his hands begin roaming the German’s body settling on the waistline of his pants.
“You’re right that was pretty tiring.” Erik sighed taking the telepath’s hands off of him. “To bed it is then?”
Verbirg nicht vor mir in meiner not an mich wenden und rasch Antwort mein Gebet.
“Keys are in my coat pocket on the right and I expect to see you in my shower instead I smell like a distillery.” Charles tells him in that low voice that gives way to his state of arousal. Erik gestures with his fingers for the keys feeling them twitch and shuffle their way out of Charles’ pocket.
He then snatches them out of the air and grabs the telepath’s cold hand. It’s soft against his calloused stained with blood ones. It’s thoughts like these that make him release Charles’ hand almost immediately under the pretense of ‘we can’t be lovers in public’, but it’s so much more. So much more than Charles wants to see and Erik wants to not be true.
“Stop getting lost in your thoughts my love.” Charles orders while giving the metal manipulator a light shove towards his father’s classic Rolls Royce. He was having a glorious night happy to give Erik a night away from training, the students, thoughts of his revenge on Shaw which the reminder usually served to kill the entire mood between them.
“You first.” Erik retorts as he opens the passenger door gesturing for Charles to get inside holding back the urge to climb in after him and take him then and there for all to see. The interior was pretty roomy and they’ve yet to find a vehicle in the garage that would accomodate for their activities. He shuts the door once the telepath is in there securely and shakes his head as a kiss is blown at him. Either Charles was really drunk, or had never been in love before.
Love
Die Liebe
Zami?owanie
Amor
Ewigen Gott, die Quelle der Heilung, von meiner Bedrängnis rufe ich Sie.
He’s watching him. Erik can pretty much feel the telepath boring a hole into his face, but he doesn’t look. He’s keeping his eyes on the road knowing that even though Charles was definitely not in a state to be driving Erik himself wasn’t entirely sober which is why he was thrown off at Charles’ next words.
“I wouldn’t care if you never said it back to me.” Charles stares at Erik with unfocused eyes watching as Erik’s eyes became wide and his grip on the wheel tightened. “My mother barely said it to me so it’s not something I’m accustomed to anyway. This is not to garner sympathy I assure you.”
Now Erik sneaks a peek at Charles who merely smiles and then turns back to the front. Erik knows what he’s talking about but he wants clarification. He wants the doubt, because the faith was just overwhelming at times.
“Say what?” he asks making a turn down some dark road that was sure to have a deer or two along it.
“I love you of course!” Charles cries suddenly and then gives a wistful sigh. Erik doesn’t respond for awhile not wanting to linger on this topic.
Helfen sie mir Sinn Ihre anwesenheit In dieser schwierigen Zeit.
“I care for you meine liebe.” Erik concedes reaching a hand out and placing it gently on Charles’ face caressing his cheek with a thumb.
“I know.” Charles leans into the touch. “I do want to believe in forever with us though. I know Raven would be quite disappointed that she couldn’t plan my wedding.”
Erik ignores the first part of Charles’ comment, but chuckles at the latter. “I’m sure she’s worried about being able to plan hers.”
Charles doesn’t answer instead he’s tilted his head so that Erik’s thumb is now conveniently settled on the man’s luscious lips. Charles parts them and runs his warm tongue around it. Erik groans with anticipation pushing the gas pedal a little more forcefully now. If he felt a little more coordinate he would be testing the complexity of his powers and auto-piloting this contraption. He steals a look over to Charles who’s eyes are closed, red lips around the German’s thumb sucking it slowly. It takes all of Erik’s willpower not to slam on the brakes and have Charles suck him off.
“Stay focused now my friend.” Charles teases as he takes off his seatbelt much to Erik’s dismay.
“Charles.” he warns, but doesn’t get far as the smell of vodka evades his senses. Charles is now caressing the left side of Erik’s neck with one hand, long abandoning his finger and running a tongue along the right side all the way up to his earlobe sending shivers throughout the man’s body. “The things I’m gonna do to you, lab rat.”
“I hate when you call me that.” Charles says in his ear.
“I hate it when you tease me like this.” Erik retorts. He uses his hand to push the telepath away only to get a pout. Erik looks over and smirks. “Now don’t---”
Schenke mir Geduld wenn die stunden sind sehr schwer verletzt; oder die Enttäuschung geben mir Mut.
Whoever said that your life flashes before your eyes before you die lied. Erik could only stay in the here and the now. There were no epiphanies, no 'i wish i had’, no flashbacks to the murders, the camps, the training, his parents...he couldn’t even remember their names! What was in the here and the now was the sheer look of terror registered on Charles’ face only highlighted by the headlight blinding his face, the sound of crushing metal and oh how ironic that he would die surrounded by metal. One second Charles was right beside him face only millimeters from his, and the next he was thrown against the windshield as if he were a mere ragdoll.
No No No No No No NO
Then nothing...
Informieren Sie mich vertrauensvoll in Deine Liebe.
The moment Erik came to he hadn’t known where he was, but his head hurt like hell and he was held upside down by the strap of his seatbelt. He blinked a few times hissing as soon as some blood fell into his eye stinging it. The mutant moved a shaky hand to his head where there was a likely gash from his hairline towards the middle of his brow. He leaned back from the steering wheel some of his surroundings coming into view and his vision swarmed. His stomach churned and he closed his eyes just for a moment before...
Charles!
He opened his eyes his mind telling him not to panic, but his body wouldn’t comply. His search fell on a pair of legs lying awkwardly below Erik, but he couldn’t see Charles’ face since it seemed he went through the windshield.
No No No No No
He moved to take off the seatbelt that was currently keeping him away from Charles, but a shooting pain shot from his shoulder down to his fingers.
“FUCK!” he yelled although it sounded like there was cotton in his mouth. He took a few frustrated breaths and then tried again. Getting out of that car was everything to him at that moment. Finally he was back right side up although he was pretty sure his shoulder was dislocated. Erik grabbed the edge of the driver’s side window where the glass had busted out during the crash down the hill and hoisted himself through the narrow opening. It was hard putting all his weight into one arm, but he had extraordinary upper body strength. Glass was strewn everywhere and a few small pieces were already embedded in his hand.
Once he was free he rolled on his back catching the clear night sky peaceful and undisturbed unlike him and Charles’ situation.
Charles
Gib mir Kraft für den heutigen Tag, und die Hoffnung für morgen
Erik was on his feet a mere two seconds before collapsing back on his knees when he caught site of Charles. He let out a strangled cry while crawling over to his friend...his lover...his.
“Charles!” Erik examined for injuries blanching at the sight. Blood was matted to the mutant’s forehead which looked like a massive head injury, his face was cut up from what looked like shards of glass, and worst off he didn’t seem to be breathing. “Mein Gott.”
His stomach churned again at the smell of burning rubber and he managed to crawl a good five feet before the contents of his stomach made its way back up into the dewy grass. This wasn’t happening! They should be back by now stumbling up the lengthy staircase where Erik would grope Charles all the way back to his room, and oh how much time has passed? Shouldn’t someone be worried? Erik didn’t have any concept of how much time had passed between them leaving the pub and now. Plus, he was pretty sure that no one would even raise a brow to them missing in action. They were probably into their own trivialities that they didn’t even know their beloved Professor, the man that took each of them into their home was dead or dying.
Tears stung Erik’s eyes then and he told himself it was from the strain of vomiting. He was pretty sure his stomach had completely emptied itself out and came back to Charles’ side.
Check his breathing
Erik placed his head on the telepath’s chest and held his own breath while trying to listen to a heartbeat.
thadump...........thadump...............thadump
It was there. It was slow, but it was there.
Deiner liebevollen Hände lege ich meinen Geist Wenn ich schlafe und wenn wach.
“Oh my God, George!” screamed the female inhabitant of a little off the road house that Erik had spotted a mile from the accident. He couldn’t feel his arms, he couldn’t feel his legs, his head and shoulder felt as though they were on fire and he couldn’t stay focused on one object. “George! Call an ambulance!”
The woman gestured for Erik to come into her home, but his legs just wouldn’t function. Charles was laying in his arms soaking his sleeve in blood breathing getting shallower and shallower by the minute so Erik trekked on.
An older man who looked about 50 came into view, and there seemed to be two of them just then. Erik blinked them away furiously.
“Put him here.” the woman directed Erik who shook his head vehemently. He wouldn’t let go of Charles, couldn’t let him be out of his sight. When Charles did wake up Erik wanted the telepath to see him first. See that he didn’t...wouldn’t leave him. Unfortunately, his body didn’t feel the same way and the room tilted before consuming itself in darkness.
Höre mein Gebet, HERR, folgen sie meinem plädoyer für barmherzigkeit
Once Erik came to again he half expected to be back in that dreadful car, but was assaulted with smells of antiseptic, and white walls. He shot up wincing when a bout of dizziness caught up with him. His left arm was in a sling and he could feel an ice pack was placed over his bruised shoulder. He touched his forehead feeling a bandage there as well with a sigh he picked up his bearings and ripped out the IV that was in his arm. That feeling of nausea came about him again, his heart pounded against his chest as if it would burst out any moment. He needed to get to Charles. Oh, where was he?
Zur Zeit der Not rufe ich Euch auf, denn du erhörst mich.
Charles, are you alright? Mein Liebe please....
Nothing. No matter how loud he spoke in his mind, no matter how far he opened his mind to welcome the telepath’s presence it never came. Was it really the same day they snuck away to the wine cellar where Charles touched all the right places, invited Erik to enter all the sensitive ones, and uttered three words, three syllables, and eight letters? The same night where Charles then whisked him away for dinner and drinks wanting some sense of a normal date, but what good was it when their touches and gazes couldn’t linger more than a few seconds without raising red flags? One day they would except us too, Charles had uttered wistfully. Erik said nothing not wanting to ruin the mood, or the rest of the night where he planned to thank Charles for the evening. Then came the request for the keys, the drive, the crunch of metal that he couldn’t get a grip on, the blood...the blood that didn’t bring him any satisfaction to see spilled. There was no hesitation for Erik to rip off his sweater, and tear pieces of fabric to staunch Charles’ bleeding. He squeezed his eyes shut to will away the images.
Erik couldn’t find his pants, but found his jacket hanging in the tiny closet by the bathroom. He could get through the pain shooting throughout his body, he could get through the medication that was making him woozy, he could get through the nausea, but what he figured he couldn’t get through was Charles never being in his life again.
Wenn der Schmerz und der Krankheit sind meine Begleiter, und es wird raum in meinem Herzen stärke.
“You!”
Erik’s head whipped around to see Raven standing there her face stained with tearstreaks, but her eyes instead of the usual blue was an angry yellow.
“Raven” Erik choked out before she stalked up to him and shoved him several times against the wall. Erik knew the girl wasn’t giving all her strength otherwise it would have taken all of one shove.
“What” shove “did” shove “you” slap “do” shove “to him” sob
Erik just stood slack and slid down the wall into a sitting position feeling all the energy drained from him. He couldn’t even look at her. She stood towering above him her fist clenched tightly shaking with angry sobs.
“They said you had been drinking” Raven finally choked out. “But that it had been another drunk driver on the road that had hit you.”
Rage and relief boiled inside of Erik. So it wasn’t him that had caused harm to them both, but another stupid human. He wanted to hurt something...someone.
“He’s dead.” Raven replies. “I confirmed for myself.”
“What?!” cried Erik feeling as if the room was closing in and finally looking up at Raven.
“Erik” Raven crouched down and took a hold of both of Erik’s shaking shoulders. Her anger seem to disappate at the sight of this broken down version of Erik. He looked at least ten years older, bandaged at the head, arm in a sling, and it then dawned on her that he didn’t get off unscathed. “Breathe Erik.”
“He c-cant b-b-be dead” Erik practically grips Raven’s forearm with his right hand and she gives him a confused look before she gives an ‘O’ of surprise.
“No not Charles” she clarifies softly. “He’s about to be put into the ICU. The surgery went alrigh--”
“Take me to him” Erik interrupts. “Please.”
Wenn die Tage und Nächte sind voller Dunkelheit, laß das licht Mut ihren Platz finden.
Raven stops the wheelchair at the end of Charles’ hospital bed. It was the only way she was allowed to bring Erik here much to his protesting even though he couldn’t stand for more than five minutes on his own. The only sound in the room was the constant beepbeepbeepbeepbeep of the machine monitoring Charles’ heartbeat. The scenery it didn’t match. Nothing seemed right. Erik’s eyes went from the dozen machines hooked up to his lover, to the oxygen tube up his nose, to the bandages, and the IV. Erik buried his head in his hand keeping tears at bay. He wouldn’t break not now.
“They said he suffered a massive head trauma, they relieved the swelling in his brain so the next 72 hours is going to be crucial.” Raven explained and she went on and on about his other injuries ones that minored in comparison. How she told everyone back at home that she had lied and said the two men needed a ride home from the pub as to not worry them until she knew what was going on. Erik heard only bits and pieces of words that came from her mouth. He hadn’t felt this distressed since he and his family were snatched away from their home in the dead of night. He didn’t miss this feeling of helplessness and worry about a loved one. A loved one...
“I love him.” Erik muttered in revelation. Raven looked down at him questioningly, but suddenly the room erupted into chaos before either of them registered what was going on.
Helfen sie mir unter den Entbehrungen und das Auflösen der angst; erneuere in mir die Ruhe Geist des Vertrauens und des Friedens.
Raven is screaming out questions no one was answering as the doctors and nurses rushed in speaking amongst themselves. The machine was now flat lining and they were opening Charles’ gown.
No No No No. They hadn’t had enough time.
“Get them out of here!” one of the doctors shouts to the nurse while he picks up two paddles.
He could feel his power taking control and all the metal in the vicinity began to vibrate. This wasn’t going to help matters. He was torn between staying and watching Charles die, or leaving and making sure he didn’t get hurt anymore.
“Take me away.” Erik grabs onto Raven’s cuff. She looks at him wildly. “Now before I do something.”
Raven seems to notice the metal blinds shaking, as well as the metal in the entire room seemed to be giving a gentle hum.
“What the hell?!” cries a nurse and Raven promptly takes Erik out and down the hall not able to contain her sobs.
They get settled in the waiting room where Raven has sat in a chair and was sobbing quietly in Erik’s lap while the metal manipulator ran a gentle hand over her head. He closed his eyes expecting that familiar presence back in his head, but it never came. Was he never able to keep anyone he cared about safe? The doubts that had plague his mind about sticking around after this Shaw debacle were now growing ten fold. Fighting for human-mutant co-existence when humans were already a self-destructive race. He should be out there making sure mutants were the dominant race, not sticking around to see Charles be disappointed time after time, so that he could say ‘I told you so’.
“So you two---”
“They have a chapel here?” Erik asks once again interrupting the shapeshifter to her annoyance. She lifted her head and looked into his weary bloodshot eyes. Has he cried yet? She felt so young, so unprotected. She needed Charles. She needed Charles to be alright. She didn’t need Charles to be taken away from her, for his time to be monopolized any longer. Suddenly, being so resentful, and her eagerness to leave and be independent seemed to dissolve.
“I-I think so” she answers sitting up from Erik’s lap. “I didn’t know you were religious.”
Erik swallows a lump back in his throat. “I hope that if there is a God he’ll listen to what I have to say.”
Boruch Atah Adonai, Ro-fei HaCholim Wir loben dich, o Gott, Heiler der Kranken
Raven looked over to Erik where she had been kneeling at the front of the chapel next to his wheelchair. Tears fell from her eyes as she listened to his prayers. Even though the man was Jewish Raven recognized the language to be German and was thoroughly intrigued. She knew no prayers herself only offering words of desperation.
Save my brother. Please if there is a higher power I will do anything. I’ll help him with his school. I’ll stop interfering with his love life. I’ll stop blaming him for my insecurities just please don’t take him from me.
She looked back to Erik where a tear escaped from his eye. Raven reached out and brushed it away tenderly from his cheek.
“S-say it again” Raven told him in a shaky whisper. Erik looked to Charles’ little sister, and for the first time her human appearance didn’t bother him. Nothing mattered, but for Charles to live. Nothing mattered but Charles. Her eyes were back to blue and for a minute there it was almost as if he were staring into Charles’. Did she always mimic the telepath’s eyes, or was this unintentional? Erik looked back at the alter before him reaching out to clasp Raven’s hand which she gripped, and he began to repeat the prayer. Raven stared at their joined hands, then she closed her eyes as her heart began to pick up its pace, and mouthed what she could to Erik’s prayer.
“Ewigen gott, die quelle der heilung, von meiner bedrängnis rufe ich sie.” Erik chants aloud putting his heart and soul into all the words. For the first time in 20 years he was going to put all his faith in a higher power.
The next four days on the other hand was hell.
Erik was discharged the second day of admittance, and hadn’t left Charles’ side since.
He had sent Raven home to update everyone of the situation and to continue training like Charles would have wanted.
On the third day
On the third day of nothing, but the steady beep of machines (and he was grateful for that), of the silence in his mind, of the lack of movement from the bed before him, Moira had come. Weeping tears at the sight of the man she gave one too many lingering looks to. Erik was too exhausted to even scowl at her, but accepted the change of clothes and the home cooked meal from the agent. Together they sat side by side in silence until Moira offered her own prayers to which Erik thanked her for.
On the fourth day
That damned fourth day Charles flat lined again. Erik blanched and was practically torn away by three orderlies from the telepath’s side. It was 45 minutes before the doctor informed him under the pretense that they were cousins that it was just a small scare, but the swelling in Charles’ brain was finally down. Now it was just a matter of wait and see.
On the fifth day
The fifth day of more nothing Erik had about enough of worrying. He shut the door to Charles’ private room. Gone were half of the machines keeping his friend alive, and the tube going down his throat was gone as well. He shut the blinds to the room to give them some privacy before moving towards the bed. Even with one fully functional arm Erik managed to move the telepath over a few inches before climbing on the bed and placed a hand on Charles’ face reminiscent of this gesture just before the accident. Erik blinked several times as tears stung his eyes. He was beyond exhausted to will them away. Running on a severe lack of sleep, and an abundance of coffee was taking its toll. He brushed a few wayward pieces of hair off of Charles’ forehead taking in his soft skin, and too pale skin. Erik places a chaste kiss to the telepath’s chapped lips before continuing his caressing.
“Charles you have to wake up.” Erik says in a whisper. “Every day, every hour, every minute, every second you don’t wake up is stolen time from us. You can’t leave the kids alone, because I wouldn’t be good for them. I can’t carry your vision for you, meine liebe.” Erik tears his eyes away and buries himself in the crook of Charles’ neck. The familiar smell of mint, and leaves evaded Erik’s senses and closed his eyes. Then he moved his hand from his face and brought it to rest over the telepath’s heart. “What I’m saying is I’d have nothing to stay here for. Shaw wouldn’t be too hard to find, not if I can break his telepath out and convince her to work with me. So if you love me as you said, and if you don’t want that to happen you better wake up now Charles Francis Xavier, you naive old fool.”
Nothing.
No movement.
Just the steady rise and fall of his chest.
Ich vermisse dich. Ohne dich kann ich nicht leben. Ich liebe dich, Erik thinks to himself with almost a startled realization, but he was too tired to care. He would give anything to be able to tell Charles himself, while they were both home and healthy.
“Would telling me while I was here and awake do?”
Erik’s eyes shot open, and he sat up quickly. Erik hovered over the telepath’s face, a familiar feeling evading his mind as if grasping for a connection. Erik grabbed Charles’ hand and brought it to his lips watching as Charles’ eyelids fluttered open.
“Charles.” Erik gasps in amazement, and his eyes filled with tears and relief.
“I can’t believe you would think of replacing me with another telepath” joked Charles while licking his lips. “If it’s the outfit I think we may be able to work out a compromise.”
Erik snorted and couldn’t wait another minute before leaning in for another kiss. However, Charles evaded it at the last minute so that all Erik’s lips met was a warm cheek.
“Nope.” Charles tells him shortly, but with the ghost of a playful smile coming across his features. “I want to hear it.”
Erik sighed and nodded. “Ok, but you can’t coax me to say it again.”
“Deal.” Charles says licking his lips and making eye contact with Erik.
“I...” Erik takes a deep breath and Charles gestures for him to continue. “Ich--”
“English pleassseeee” Charles sing songs. Erik keeps a glare at bay right now he was so thankful for this moment that he couldn’t really be annoyed. He did wish for this opportunity.
“I love you, Charles.” he finally gets out.
“Ah that wasn’t so bad,” Charles smiles. “Perhaps I should get into life or death situations more often.”
Erik’s eyes fall as well as his demeanor. “That’s not funny Charles.”
Charles tightens his grip on Erik’s hand realizing how stupid that comment actually was. He could only imagine what Erik had gone through, and he may even ask Erik’s permission to experience it through his eyes if only so Erik would have an understanding outlet. “I’m sorry my love. I’m sorry.”
He moves a few more inches and Erik nods placing a kiss on the telepath’s forehead and raising his arm to place under Charles’ shoulders. Charles settles into this position and closes his eyes feeling slightly tired again.
“Charles please just talk to me.” Erik practically pleads. He’s seen enough of Charles’ eyelids, and hasn’t heard enough of his voice. “About anything...how about that wedding? If we were to have a wedding what would it be like?”
“Is this a marriage proposal too?” Charles asks with a chuckle to which Erik shook his head.
“Let’s not get carried away, huh?” Erik answers while kissing the top of his lover’s head. “So, wedding?”
Charles raises one of his hands and touches his head brushing against the large bandage of his hair. Erik grimaces as the hand roaming grows more frantic.
“Erik!” Charles practically shrieks. “Did they shave my hair?”
“You would look positively gorgeous in white, I think.” Erik begins ignoring the cries of indignation, and swear words erupting from his love’s mouth. “Your hair would be back by then.”
End
At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing, where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, is usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them, the people that are still with you at the end of the day - those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need. -Meredith Grey
It’s probably obvious that I used an online translation system I should have acquired a beta to edit this. I’m sorry if this isn’t up to par it’s been an ongoing battle of trying to keep my laptop alive (viruses galore). The two prayers I used are Jewish prayers, but I couldn’t find them in Hebrew so here are the English translations:
God, hear my prayer,
And let my cry come to You.
Do not hide from me in the day of my distress
Turn to me and speedily answer my prayer.
Eternal God, Source of healing,
Out of my distress I call upon You.
Help me sense Your presence
At this difficult time.
Grant me patience when the hours are heavy;
In hurt or disappointment give me courage.
Keep me trustful in Your love.
Give me strength for today, and hope for tomorrow.
To your loving hands I commit my spirit
When asleep and when awake. You are with me; I shall not fear.
and
You are mighty, Lord, who brings healing to the sick,
You are great in granting salvation,
providing the living with sustenance, with lovingkindness,
caring for the sick with great mercies,
supporting the fallen, healing the sick,
releasing the captive,
and keeping faith with those who are lost among the living,
Who is like you, Master of mighty acts, and who compares to you,
King who restores health, and causes salvation to sprout,
You who are faithful, comforting the ill among us,
Blessed are You, Lord who heals the sick.
Also Erik tells Charles near the end: I miss you. I can’t live without you. I love you.
Hope you had a wonderful holiday :)