Atleast You've Got Your Wits: Cross Eyed Bear
You know, sometimes I can't help but wonder things. They pop into my head. I just can't help them. Of course, the more damaging thoughts I do my best to dismiss quickly. But, in Decatur or Huntsville, sometimes you can find yourself going down a street you previously travelled many a times a few years before and your heart skipping a beat as you pass by your old turn off as if it was a cemetary with a tombstone of someone you once knew. Well, using that old aged belief and saying, I guess there are a few times I forget to hold my breath when I pass by. And on those occasions, old memories awaken like zombified corpses and feast on the healed living tissue of my heart and brain...and for a moment in time, the world is muted, I see things happening before me, but I seem to just float by as if I was living on autopilot mode. Then I awaken from my paused state.
I have gotten better at dealing with these old memories. Usually shrugging them off as the old me and the old times and that those times are no more and by thinking and believing that i can make newer better times that will help me to forget those old times.
I just can't seem to help things though.
The worst memory is her scent. She smelled of gardinia lily. It was my favorite lotion that she ever owned. I could smell it and be relaxed into a comatose state. Now it just reminds me of the last time I saw her...and that isn't such a relaxing feeling.
Things have gotten better since the last time I posted. I found a job. Working currently for the local Dish Network service provider and installing satellite dishes. It's a tougher job than what I am used to. It's getting me over my fear of heights. I have a rather interesting boss. Jason is still living with me...though I am about to move to HSV. It's been a long time coming. Improv is still coming along very well.
I have gotten better at dealing with these old memories. Usually shrugging them off as the old me and the old times and that those times are no more and by thinking and believing that i can make newer better times that will help me to forget those old times.
I just can't seem to help things though.
The worst memory is her scent. She smelled of gardinia lily. It was my favorite lotion that she ever owned. I could smell it and be relaxed into a comatose state. Now it just reminds me of the last time I saw her...and that isn't such a relaxing feeling.
Things have gotten better since the last time I posted. I found a job. Working currently for the local Dish Network service provider and installing satellite dishes. It's a tougher job than what I am used to. It's getting me over my fear of heights. I have a rather interesting boss. Jason is still living with me...though I am about to move to HSV. It's been a long time coming. Improv is still coming along very well.