*a beautiful mind*
in an attempt to procrastinate the completion of my first round of papers, i ended up watching, i think it came to seven movies. i completely achieved nothing that i set i set out to do today, and yet i accomplished exactly what i needed to. oddly, i was just in some funky mood and i didn't realize it until now, but every movie that i watched had to do with mental illness. it sound so stupid, but after watching seven different people sink to the depths of despair, be put together again by those who love them and then finally be able to conquer the demons within their minds was strangely cathartic. it helped to remind me that i'm not the only one who has to fight with the voices in my head to accomplish the very simplest of things. i'm not abnormal... i am certainly not alone...
i suppose that for a while i forgot that it was ok to not be ok. to be not normal and yet be completely sane. being thrown into this big world made me lose track of a lot. the worst of it though was that it made me try to measure up against people and standards that i could never in a million years come close to. i'm such a quarky outside of the box person; for the first time in quite a while, i failed to realize that i was trying to force myself to fit inside the box. i should know this by now, pushing a circle into a square can't work.
it is ok to be me, it is ok to be scared, it is ok to draw attention to myself, it is ok to look stupid infront of those that are smarter than i as long as i am doing the best that i can do. no one can ask you for anything more- especially you of yourself.
i suppose that for a while i forgot that it was ok to not be ok. to be not normal and yet be completely sane. being thrown into this big world made me lose track of a lot. the worst of it though was that it made me try to measure up against people and standards that i could never in a million years come close to. i'm such a quarky outside of the box person; for the first time in quite a while, i failed to realize that i was trying to force myself to fit inside the box. i should know this by now, pushing a circle into a square can't work.
it is ok to be me, it is ok to be scared, it is ok to draw attention to myself, it is ok to look stupid infront of those that are smarter than i as long as i am doing the best that i can do. no one can ask you for anything more- especially you of yourself.