MMJ rocks my cock
my life is meaningless at the moment. i've done nothing productive or worthwhile. especially within the last few weeks. all i can claim are stupid sober and drunk mistakes and wounds/bruises/scratches/bumps.
i'm mad and disappointed in myself. i've lost some of the best things that have ever happened to me. the only reason i haven't been wallowing so seriously is because i'm way the fuck out here surrounded by nothing but pure beauty. every moment i step outside i never seize to take for granted all that's in the sky or around my trailer, be it javalinas or mountains of cacti.
le sigh.
it's really nice to be this isolated though. internet and call connections are rare. the majority of the people who i work and live with are fuckin' amazing. there's such an awesome group dynamic goin' on.
we are all college drop outs of no more than 3 yrs of college. every single one of us has somewhat similiar taste in music and it's all very good music. we all smoke grass, enjoy any kind of burr we can get our hands on. we're all extremely chill and down to earth. me, ali, eric, matt, sammy, we're all 21/22. billy ray and dustin are 25. ed is 34. everyone is from the midwest except billy ray, who is from west virginia and ed who is from philly. sammy and i, we're the only hispanics. we've already had some ups and downs, but none the less, we provide such a humorous and positive atmosphere for each other.
ack, enough about that. i need to stop drinking for the sake of my beer gut. i love my job most of the time only because i work up on a hill and have been permanently assigned the cottages to clean. it's a daily work out and the cleaning relieves some stress.
so yeah, being out here helps a lot, but it doesn't change the fact of all thats happened in the last two years. i still constantly think of the friends in miami i don't talk to anymore, rod, john, cristal, my poor mom and the rest of my family. it hurts to ponder even the smallest ideas of them though. seriously, i never want to go back home. me and sammy plan on going to a ski resort after this. but i really want to do some kind of good samaritan manual labor.
i kind of feel like i've been being a self-absorbed bitch. i've got no direction or priorities right now and it really doesn't feel that good.
but anyway, i really can't complain about life at the moment. i miss you all and i hope everything is going extremely fucking awesome for everyone.
i'm mad and disappointed in myself. i've lost some of the best things that have ever happened to me. the only reason i haven't been wallowing so seriously is because i'm way the fuck out here surrounded by nothing but pure beauty. every moment i step outside i never seize to take for granted all that's in the sky or around my trailer, be it javalinas or mountains of cacti.
le sigh.
it's really nice to be this isolated though. internet and call connections are rare. the majority of the people who i work and live with are fuckin' amazing. there's such an awesome group dynamic goin' on.
we are all college drop outs of no more than 3 yrs of college. every single one of us has somewhat similiar taste in music and it's all very good music. we all smoke grass, enjoy any kind of burr we can get our hands on. we're all extremely chill and down to earth. me, ali, eric, matt, sammy, we're all 21/22. billy ray and dustin are 25. ed is 34. everyone is from the midwest except billy ray, who is from west virginia and ed who is from philly. sammy and i, we're the only hispanics. we've already had some ups and downs, but none the less, we provide such a humorous and positive atmosphere for each other.
ack, enough about that. i need to stop drinking for the sake of my beer gut. i love my job most of the time only because i work up on a hill and have been permanently assigned the cottages to clean. it's a daily work out and the cleaning relieves some stress.
so yeah, being out here helps a lot, but it doesn't change the fact of all thats happened in the last two years. i still constantly think of the friends in miami i don't talk to anymore, rod, john, cristal, my poor mom and the rest of my family. it hurts to ponder even the smallest ideas of them though. seriously, i never want to go back home. me and sammy plan on going to a ski resort after this. but i really want to do some kind of good samaritan manual labor.
i kind of feel like i've been being a self-absorbed bitch. i've got no direction or priorities right now and it really doesn't feel that good.
but anyway, i really can't complain about life at the moment. i miss you all and i hope everything is going extremely fucking awesome for everyone.