Fic: Bring It On Home (2 of 10)
Title: Bring It On Home
Author: fra_apples
Length: ~8.000
Setting: Comics canon, post-After The Fall
Rating: R for violence and language, eventually NC17
Summary: A few months after the whole LA-in-hell thing is done, Spike and his friend the telepathic fish have some drinks. The fish convinces the vampire to take a trip to Scotland. This story is about what ( Read more... )
Author: fra_apples
Length: ~8.000
Setting: Comics canon, post-After The Fall
Rating: R for violence and language, eventually NC17
Summary: A few months after the whole LA-in-hell thing is done, Spike and his friend the telepathic fish have some drinks. The fish convinces the vampire to take a trip to Scotland. This story is about what ( Read more... )
"This is the only way I can communicate with you, and pal, you are in dire need of communicating with someone."
He has a point! Two, even.
"I’d just assumed you’d started talking about another time when you two were in Scotland, where you thought you’d meet Buffy.”
Nice
"George, who was now decidedly squirming in the air"
Hee :)
“Really? Was that a creature-of-the-night-heightened-senses kind of feeling, or a more average I-want-to-see-her-so-much-I-convince-myself-she’s-there kind of feeling?”
Ouch. :D
"And that line he’d given him and Angel about Buffy loving both of them… as if Buffy could really love him.
“Ok, Spike, come on, don’t be like that. I actually think you and her might still be able to work it out, if one of you just dropped this stupid pride act and contacted the other.”"
I love that the fish is saying exactly what I think! :D
"wasting his unlife without direction nor meaning, all because he felt lost without her"
waah :c
“You know, you did have some meaning in a certain city sent to hell. And you did help save a certain fish’s life, not to mention many other less resplendent beings along the way.”
Again, thank you, George!
"If you think about it, it’s even better, because her rage must have simmered off in the meantime. Yay?”
Haha, that's the spirit!
“You’re a hero, Buffy or no Buffy, Angel or no Angel. Stop thinking that you need her, or him, to define yourself.”
That fish is the smartest character around!
"A wet, violet-coloured, fin-like slap in the face."
Hee :))
"Every time he tried to move out of someone else’s shadow, he felt aimless and lost."
oh no :c Sounds like him, though
"Those moments usually had to do with mayhem and violence: moments when he’d felt like he’d been on top of the bloody world, sod everyone else, and Dru’s love had been the cherry to top it all off, because he’d deserved her and her wicked, insane love; because he’d deserved his place at the top of the world."
Good point, I like this
"the dangerous and delicious sense of dread and delight at fighting for his life"
very nice :) Enjoying the sound of this line
"Truth was, he was embellishing his own memories, cause life next to Buffy? Rarely could be described with the adjective ‘natural’."
:))
"He could hear her aiming for a careless and light tone, but failing around a thousand miles from it."
Cool line. :)
"might give you a slight advance"
was that meant to be "advantage"?
"Didn’t he come here so he could move the hell on?"
No no, don't do that, Spike!
"the small room was full of dead bodies"
oh no!
"The other one yelled at him and kicked him off the demon, whose head thudded listlessly to the ground; before it could hit Spike, though, the vampire was already kicking him in the stomach with both legs, sending it away from him."
A bit more of demon pronoun shenanigans here, looks like :) - the demon is "it" in the next paragraph
"his demon high on the violence and the smell of blood, his soul horrified and disgusted with his revolting reaction at seeing the headless babies"
oh dear, deadly combination
"headless throats. He shuddered, and wished he had something to throw up."
oh no. oh dear. Can we have the comfort part of hurt/comfort now? :D
“No, I’ll take care of it.”
Dude, why are you doing this to yourself? Why do you have to be all noble and tough and stuff?
:ccc poor dead people :(
This is so powerful and vivid, and I love how Buffy and Spike are reacting to it (and then reacting to each other's reactions!!)
"He just looked at her hand on his arm, and felt like hugging her and never letting go."
Good idea! Do that! :D
“This is what I am, not a hero. So, you were wondering why I didn’t want to show my mug around when I came back? This is the reason."
Oh! I love how this led right into the conversation they need to have!! :)
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"He didn’t know what she was thinking, and he couldn’t find the strength to look at her. In the next few seconds, he heard police sirens approach..."
aaaaa, the suspense!
"After a few moments, he started to slink away"
Spike, NO
“Don’t, or I’ll find you and before talking, I’ll kick your ass and tie you to a chair.”
I mean, that doesn't sound entirely bad
"they could clear the premise"
I think it's "premises" when it's a place
Mm, I see what you meant earlier, those paragraph breaks could be useful here.
They're going to be all right. <3
Yay! Lovely final line. :)
Good luck with the rest of the story! High time for this lost Spike to realize that people care about him. He's needed it for so long.
Anyway, good job, and I'm happy you joined us!
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And thank you for pointing out those mistakes... I gotta pay more attention to pronouns, I'm afraid haha. Will edit them out, and edit a pic of Betta George in. That fish is definitely one of my favourite bits of the IDW comics, and one of my absolute favourite characters of the Buffyverse!
Thanks again for your time and kindness <3
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Oh, no - I mean, you can, of course, but I didn't have any trouble picturing George once he was in the scene with Spike. What I meant was, I read a brief plot synopsis of every "After the Fall" issue, and THAT didn't clue me in he was a fish! :D Your story did just fine on that front.
I suspect it's easier for people who already know what "betta" means, plus, you do mention in the summary that Spike's friend is a telepathic fish! I just didn't make the connection between that and the name, until he entered the scene.
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And you're right, demon pronouns are tough. I ended up checking on the ATS episode where they appeared if the writers used he or it... (they used he. And I might have rewatched the first twenty minutes of the episode too, because Spike's in it...)
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