When the rain finally falls
It’s official. I’ve given up. I’ve given in. I won’t finish this graduate degree, not now or ever. One can’t complete a degree in a dead program.
I’m so okay with this that it’s a bit surreal. After sending my committee the news, I felt such amazing and pure relief. I believe I am breathing better now than I have in years.
Yes, I still have loans to pay for a degree that I’ll never be awarded … and in response to these words of a pseudo-mentor “ASU owes you a degree - you’ve paid for it,” I’ve this to consider: I’ve accumulated so much information about phenomena I’ve never known how to see. The ability to see and possibly understand occurrences I may have only merely seen around and beyond before grad school is an incredible gift...maybe a little overpriced, but incredible nonetheless.
I have nothing tangible or truly marketable to show for the last (nearly) 4 years of higher education and still - I feel so full. A few hours after I sent news of my decision, the rains finally came. After something like 4 months of drought, the rains came. I filled every vessel I could find in the house with rain. I listened to the buckets, bowls and Tupperware fill and I sighed - with happiness, hope and genuine satisfaction, I sighed.
I’m so okay with this that it’s a bit surreal. After sending my committee the news, I felt such amazing and pure relief. I believe I am breathing better now than I have in years.
Yes, I still have loans to pay for a degree that I’ll never be awarded … and in response to these words of a pseudo-mentor “ASU owes you a degree - you’ve paid for it,” I’ve this to consider: I’ve accumulated so much information about phenomena I’ve never known how to see. The ability to see and possibly understand occurrences I may have only merely seen around and beyond before grad school is an incredible gift...maybe a little overpriced, but incredible nonetheless.
I have nothing tangible or truly marketable to show for the last (nearly) 4 years of higher education and still - I feel so full. A few hours after I sent news of my decision, the rains finally came. After something like 4 months of drought, the rains came. I filled every vessel I could find in the house with rain. I listened to the buckets, bowls and Tupperware fill and I sighed - with happiness, hope and genuine satisfaction, I sighed.