Just a little wonders
Once I was happy and once I was Proud! But now I am just sitting alone on the computer. Just thinking about ways to improve my mood and ways to be happy again. What was it that the last time that I was happy was living with brit and missy in the CP Dorms. There I was myself not trying to impress or be someone that I am not. But today i guess was a day that wasn't surppose to happen. I think that my life was a waste and now is that time to make it something.
Today adam came over, i like it when we get to hang out.. he makes me feel like a fun person, the same feeling as I would get when i worked at the pet farm, where everyone Liked to work with me and wanted to hang out with me, found me fun and all around goofy, I miss that. i think that is the only place there I can find that feeling again. Feeling of Nothing, just fun!! where the days seemed to never ends and the nights where filled with endless options! What happen to me? why do I feel as if I am left out of the crowd and not moving on with the rest of the world. Why do I feel like I missed somthing important that not my life is shity and I can't go back to change it. My heart hurts all the time. It trys to tell me somthing that I don't want to hear and it repeats it's self over and over and louder each time. I cant understand what it says but I do feel it. More and more each day and every night the dreams come. The dreams that will never be forgotten. Dreams that i can't control. Dreams of my life if i didn't change it! Dreams of a life that wanted to hold. A life that I would never hold. A life, now without me.
Today adam came over, i like it when we get to hang out.. he makes me feel like a fun person, the same feeling as I would get when i worked at the pet farm, where everyone Liked to work with me and wanted to hang out with me, found me fun and all around goofy, I miss that. i think that is the only place there I can find that feeling again. Feeling of Nothing, just fun!! where the days seemed to never ends and the nights where filled with endless options! What happen to me? why do I feel as if I am left out of the crowd and not moving on with the rest of the world. Why do I feel like I missed somthing important that not my life is shity and I can't go back to change it. My heart hurts all the time. It trys to tell me somthing that I don't want to hear and it repeats it's self over and over and louder each time. I cant understand what it says but I do feel it. More and more each day and every night the dreams come. The dreams that will never be forgotten. Dreams that i can't control. Dreams of my life if i didn't change it! Dreams of a life that wanted to hold. A life that I would never hold. A life, now without me.