A Bug's Life
A few days ago, as I was riding my bike home from school, a bug flew into my left eye so hard it knocked out my contact and caused some sort of weird headache. I took that as a sign that maybe it might be worth chronicling my insect misadventures. But, of course, writing about them means thinking about them. So it has taken a bit of time.
When I lived in Yamaguchi, my host family had cockroaches. And by cockroaches, I mean two of them. You know that saying that says for every one cockroach you see there are one hundred more in the walls? Not necessarily true here. I'm sure it is sometimes. But not at my host family's house. One lived in the dining/sitting area and hid behind the heating/air conditioning unit every time my host mother went after it with a magazine. The other lived in the laundry room (which led into the bath) and hid behind the sink and mirror unit every time I tried to brush my teeth after midnight. My host mother told me they were more afraid of me than I was of them but I don't think she really got how afraid I was. The cockroaches did. And they took every opportunity they could to laugh in my face.
Flash forward 2 years. I move back to Japan and I have to learn to face the cockroaches without a handy, magazine waving host mother.
At first, I didn't see any. Not in my house, anyway. I spent the first night here at [info]secret_base's apartment and had the misfortune to encounter one in her shower. Of course, she hasn't really had any since. But I digress. My predecessor told me he got them sometimes but I thought maybe I had just been lucky. I had a few small bugs but nothing much to worry about. But a few months in I finally got one. I can't really remember but I think that might have been the only one I had that year before winter came.
I went home for 2 weeks around Golden Week that year. It was a very long winter (it snowed in April) so I left my kotatsu set up. When I got back, things started getting out of control. My kotatsu stayed set up long into the summer and the garbage began to build up. I swore to myself that I would recycle those bottles but PET bottle day came and went over and over again. I had a cockroach every second month or so. Nothing out of the ordinary, really. One while a friend was visiting which was nice because that meant I didn't have to deal with it.
Summer came and went and the bottles never got recycled and the kotatsu was never put away. Some time in mid-October or early November I hired a cleaning company. The reason for this eventual cave is one of the worst cockroach experiences I have ever had. One night, I fell asleep in front of my space heater (dangerous, don't do it). I woke up around 1:00 am and within the hour or so noticed a cockroach scuttling across the ceiling right above where I had been sleeping only a few short hours before. I felt pretty good though as I accomplished take-down and disposal in less than 10 minutes. The next day I came home from Curves and was sitting at my computer with my legs stretched out on my right side, as usual. I was wearing black pants and out of the corner of my eye I thought I saw something run over one leg. I glanced down and didn't see anything so I went back to my computer. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw it on the other leg. Getting a little worried I was tempted to ignore it but I stood up anyway, just in case. And felt something pricking in my cleavage. I looked down the neck of my shirt and sure enough. There was a cockroach in my shirt. While I was wearing it. After shrieking a bit and crying and shaking and stomping up and down and every other symptom of a bug induced panic attack, I packed the first items of clothing I could find and headed for the nearest 24 hour restaurant. I stayed there for a while and then spent the night at [info]secret_base's place again (everlasting gratitude).
The cleaners came within the week and things were spotless for a while and bugs went back to normal. I don't think I saw any for the rest of the winter. A few ups and downs in my tidyness. A few more cockroaches once warm weather set in. No noticeable increase or decrease with regards to the earthquake. And then planning began in earnest for my parents' (and brother's) visit. A friend here helped me tidy a few times in preparation for that. And Dad promised while he was here that he would kill any cockroaches for me. Which, of course, means the only cockroaches he saw were either already dead or outside. But it was me who saw the cockroach in the kitchen of our hostel room in Kyoto (don't judge it poorly, it's a lovely place, it's just one of those things), it was me who found the (unidentified) bug in the toilet of our hostel room in Tokyo (again, nice place). Seriously, what must I have done in a past life to deserve all of this?
And then, within two days of them leaving, I had two cockroaches in one night. Not only that, but I had a minimum of five (I think/hope only five but I can never be sure) in three weeks. That is an unnatural number. Now there is one dead in the filter of my air conditioning unit, three went out with the garbage and I haven't done my dishes in a while because I'm pretty sure number five is lying dead in the bottom of my sink and I haven't felt brave enough to find out yet. And with a typhoon raging outside (the embassy e-mailed me and told me that I should reassure my friends and loved ones that I am fine) I'm sure it's only a matter of time until another comes in out of the rain. Place your bets now, when and where I will first notice the little spawn of Satan. And how much it will make me cry.
So that's that, I think. I am terribly alert all the time because every creak of my floor, every drip of my shower, every time the fan rustles a plastic bag I scan the room frantically for my next opponent, desperately searching for the cockroach I am certain is lurking in the darkness under my fridge (recent area of elevated population). Would you think less of me if I said I want to come home now? For real? Because I think I do.