"Weed just touched my foot."
I realized today that your most recent livejournal entry is a reflection of your present self more than anything else. My most recent entry (excluding this one) gave off a portrait that was helpless and in despair. That's not who I am right now, and I was only like that for about 2-3 days. Why am I always such a dramatic? Who knows . . .
While giving advice to a fellow LJer I caught myself giving a lesson that I had yet to teach myself. Here is an excerpt from what I said:
"But it seems people are the most afraid of facing things that they're most likely to strive at doing."
Think about it... The smart kids stressing the most over getting into college and scoring well on their SATs. The socialites worrying most about making friends at college. The class clown getting anxious over the thought of staying funny. It's the truth. Then when they ultimately succeed at what they were going for, you get that big sigh of relief. They then say to themselves "Wow, I really had nothing to worry about." It doesn't matter that I'm saying this though. We'll be dogs chasing our tails in this aspect for (most likely) the rest of eternity.
Is it weird that I've had no desire to get drunk lately? I don't think so. I haven't been drunk in two weeks, and that's two weeks where school has had little/no effect on my life. Also, when you consider who I'm friends with, two weeks really is a long time to be sober. I just have no reason to get drunk. I'm not lacking fun, I'm not sad, and most of all... I don't feel like getting drunk with a bunch of guys. (sorry, it makes me feel like a homosexual)
This weekend I realized this fact: I need a girlfriend. I can effectively support that claim too. Here's an example: this weekend I was freaking out to myself because my friend smoked weed off of some dumb guy and I didn't do as much as I usually do to stop my friends from doing something stupid. I usually go through a whole lecture and plead with them to stop what they're doing. This time, I simply said "I'm going to say this only once: I don't approve of this." and that was all. See how I freaked out over that? I care too much about my friends. I care too much about guiding them in the right direction and trying to make them happy people, because I genuinely want them to be happy. I care too much about what they think, and what they do. I'm too caring to be single. It's obvious.
I have a crush on someone and it has lasted more than 3 days (which is big for me). It's a really weird crush too because I rarely see this person at this point... My friends think she likes me, and they think it would be easy for me to 'win her over' I guess? I actually don't know what I have more of a crush on... The idea of having a girlfriend or the idea of having her as a girlfriend. That's for me to figure out. Either way, I love and hate this crush feeling. It's a really intimidating feeling, isn't it?
While giving advice to a fellow LJer I caught myself giving a lesson that I had yet to teach myself. Here is an excerpt from what I said:
"But it seems people are the most afraid of facing things that they're most likely to strive at doing."
Think about it... The smart kids stressing the most over getting into college and scoring well on their SATs. The socialites worrying most about making friends at college. The class clown getting anxious over the thought of staying funny. It's the truth. Then when they ultimately succeed at what they were going for, you get that big sigh of relief. They then say to themselves "Wow, I really had nothing to worry about." It doesn't matter that I'm saying this though. We'll be dogs chasing our tails in this aspect for (most likely) the rest of eternity.
Is it weird that I've had no desire to get drunk lately? I don't think so. I haven't been drunk in two weeks, and that's two weeks where school has had little/no effect on my life. Also, when you consider who I'm friends with, two weeks really is a long time to be sober. I just have no reason to get drunk. I'm not lacking fun, I'm not sad, and most of all... I don't feel like getting drunk with a bunch of guys. (sorry, it makes me feel like a homosexual)
This weekend I realized this fact: I need a girlfriend. I can effectively support that claim too. Here's an example: this weekend I was freaking out to myself because my friend smoked weed off of some dumb guy and I didn't do as much as I usually do to stop my friends from doing something stupid. I usually go through a whole lecture and plead with them to stop what they're doing. This time, I simply said "I'm going to say this only once: I don't approve of this." and that was all. See how I freaked out over that? I care too much about my friends. I care too much about guiding them in the right direction and trying to make them happy people, because I genuinely want them to be happy. I care too much about what they think, and what they do. I'm too caring to be single. It's obvious.
I have a crush on someone and it has lasted more than 3 days (which is big for me). It's a really weird crush too because I rarely see this person at this point... My friends think she likes me, and they think it would be easy for me to 'win her over' I guess? I actually don't know what I have more of a crush on... The idea of having a girlfriend or the idea of having her as a girlfriend. That's for me to figure out. Either way, I love and hate this crush feeling. It's a really intimidating feeling, isn't it?