As promised (sort of)
I know, I know, some of you (dear god I hope this isn't true) were anxiously awaiting a post listing the books I read in 2007. Just be patient, that will come, but it is on my laptop and I'm writing this from my desktop.
Here are some facts (warning, this is sort of about sports, but I do make up words and such, so maybe read it anyway if you don't care):
I like sports, but mostly I like football. Despite this, I probably follow professional basketball and baseball more closely than I do college football. How can this be true you ask? Well, in addition to my love of the NFL, I am also an extreme Philadelphia homer (true life example: I wore a Flyers baseball cap for years, despite (at the time at least) not giving even one shit about hockey, not to mention two), as well as somewhat of a contrarian (the equivalent of a librarian, only at the contrararia or "biblioteca"). This means that I have no true local team to support, given that the two best teams in Philadelphia are Villinova (which is no longer Division IA, but only because IA changed its name to Division I Championship Subdivision or something like that) and Temple, which is division I, but I listed those two in the order of their quality. And due to my contrary nature (that is, my wont to contraryness) I refuse to support Penn State on more than a semi-casual basis. This leaves me with Rutgers? (Not likely, since like any good Philadelphia I have very mixed feelings about the Garden State with its Zach Braff homesteads, jersey devils, cranberries, landfills and highest population density of any state in the union), following Division IA (which I will not do, despite being one of the two guys who actually watched NFL Europe games and thus clearly showing my willingness to support sporting leagues of lesser quality) or becoming a Temple fan. So, long story (or should I say, run on sentence) short, I'm the one guy who didn't go to Temple and roots for their Football team. Why not support the college I went to? Easy, it's very hard to root for a team that disbanded a decade prior to my arrival. And no one roots for the football team of their Law School, that would just be weird.
So, next season, if you're one of the teams in the MAC East (or a team that traditionally plays Temple for the easy win cough-Clemson-cough) you'd better watch out. Because the Owls are coming. And an Owl is a dangerous mascot. Imagine you/your football team are (metaphorically) in a desolate field, just below the tree line, on the first cold night of October with a full moon and a hankering for seeds. I should mention that you are also (metaphorically) a field mouse. You cock your head to listen, but all you can hear is the sighing of the breeze through the branches of the douglas firs surrounding the open field. You scurry out into the field, in search of some seeds or bugs or whatever it is you (metaphorically) eat. Suddenly, the field darkens as a shadow crosses the moon. You freeze, and then you hear it. Whoooo, whoooo. That, my friend, is haunting. Try running a screen play while you're that haunted. Can't be done. Whoooooooo.
To finish this off strong, I'll list for you the various birds of prey mascots, from best to worst:
Philadelphia Eagles
Temple Owls
Whichever one of Phillies, Flyers or 76ers is a bird (I'd guess Flyers, but Philies seems like it could be too)
Eastern Michigan Swoops
Eagles of color (Golden perhaps, or bald) of various college teams
Seattle Seahawks
Baltimore Ravens
Hawks (various college and NBA teams)
Ibisises (mostly sabastian)
Jay hawks
New York Jets
Hornets/Wasps/Bees/Blue Jackets? or Yellow ones?
Arizona Cardinals (new ones with angry eyes)
Condors
Toronto Blue Jays
Toronto Raptors (either because a Raptor is a bird of prey, or because dinosaurs were basically birds)
Cardinals (various, except for the Arizona ones)
Baltimore Oriels
Chicago Blackhawks
Atlanta Falcons
Arizona Cardinals (old lame ones)
Turkeys in general
The New York Giants
Here are some facts (warning, this is sort of about sports, but I do make up words and such, so maybe read it anyway if you don't care):
I like sports, but mostly I like football. Despite this, I probably follow professional basketball and baseball more closely than I do college football. How can this be true you ask? Well, in addition to my love of the NFL, I am also an extreme Philadelphia homer (true life example: I wore a Flyers baseball cap for years, despite (at the time at least) not giving even one shit about hockey, not to mention two), as well as somewhat of a contrarian (the equivalent of a librarian, only at the contrararia or "biblioteca"). This means that I have no true local team to support, given that the two best teams in Philadelphia are Villinova (which is no longer Division IA, but only because IA changed its name to Division I Championship Subdivision or something like that) and Temple, which is division I, but I listed those two in the order of their quality. And due to my contrary nature (that is, my wont to contraryness) I refuse to support Penn State on more than a semi-casual basis. This leaves me with Rutgers? (Not likely, since like any good Philadelphia I have very mixed feelings about the Garden State with its Zach Braff homesteads, jersey devils, cranberries, landfills and highest population density of any state in the union), following Division IA (which I will not do, despite being one of the two guys who actually watched NFL Europe games and thus clearly showing my willingness to support sporting leagues of lesser quality) or becoming a Temple fan. So, long story (or should I say, run on sentence) short, I'm the one guy who didn't go to Temple and roots for their Football team. Why not support the college I went to? Easy, it's very hard to root for a team that disbanded a decade prior to my arrival. And no one roots for the football team of their Law School, that would just be weird.
So, next season, if you're one of the teams in the MAC East (or a team that traditionally plays Temple for the easy win cough-Clemson-cough) you'd better watch out. Because the Owls are coming. And an Owl is a dangerous mascot. Imagine you/your football team are (metaphorically) in a desolate field, just below the tree line, on the first cold night of October with a full moon and a hankering for seeds. I should mention that you are also (metaphorically) a field mouse. You cock your head to listen, but all you can hear is the sighing of the breeze through the branches of the douglas firs surrounding the open field. You scurry out into the field, in search of some seeds or bugs or whatever it is you (metaphorically) eat. Suddenly, the field darkens as a shadow crosses the moon. You freeze, and then you hear it. Whoooo, whoooo. That, my friend, is haunting. Try running a screen play while you're that haunted. Can't be done. Whoooooooo.
To finish this off strong, I'll list for you the various birds of prey mascots, from best to worst:
Philadelphia Eagles
Temple Owls
Whichever one of Phillies, Flyers or 76ers is a bird (I'd guess Flyers, but Philies seems like it could be too)
Eastern Michigan Swoops
Eagles of color (Golden perhaps, or bald) of various college teams
Seattle Seahawks
Baltimore Ravens
Hawks (various college and NBA teams)
Ibisises (mostly sabastian)
Jay hawks
New York Jets
Hornets/Wasps/Bees/Blue Jackets? or Yellow ones?
Arizona Cardinals (new ones with angry eyes)
Condors
Toronto Blue Jays
Toronto Raptors (either because a Raptor is a bird of prey, or because dinosaurs were basically birds)
Cardinals (various, except for the Arizona ones)
Baltimore Oriels
Chicago Blackhawks
Atlanta Falcons
Arizona Cardinals (old lame ones)
Turkeys in general
The New York Giants