Comments | seal_clubber: Women: Driving Me Crazy

seal_clubber

Women: Driving Me Crazy

Feb 05, 2009 10:44

Last night I was regaling mrs_clubber with a personal tale of adventure, which I concluded by saying, "It was a mystery". To which the love of my life burst out, "There was no mystery! You're just dumb!"¹

♣ ♣ ♣This morning I was seated at the end of one of the two "give up this seat for elderly or handicapped" rows on the bus. Every other person ( Read more... )

home life:family, potpourri, transit

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wraithgirl February 5 2009, 16:14:41 UTC

It's a weird 1950s holdover that many women will still expect the man to give up a seat, hold a door, etc. when the same women will demand equality in every other circumstance. I can only surmise that this is because equality is still rather new to our culture and imperfectly applied. Perhaps these are just "growing pains".

I like to think that I don't get caught in this trap, but I imagine that I have on occasion. Probably, it's just laziness - I don't actually *want* to give up my seat, so I search for someone else to lay the responsibility on. Change the rules to suit my needs at the moment.

I certainly do remember expecting the man to pay for dinner or tickets when he was the one doing the inviting. When I did the inviting, I expected to pay...but very often wasn't allowed to. On some occasions though, I let it go rather than arguing the point. Not because I felt the man *should* pay, but because I was broke and couldn't afford to pay. How sad is that?

seal_clubber February 5 2009, 17:17:11 UTC

I think it might be "growing pains", too, sort of like those of us who started learning Imperial before the country switched to Metric still think of some stuff in Imperial (for me, people heights are still in feet and inches, and weights are in pounds -- telling me something wighs 50 grams is meaningless).

Hopefully, that means that a generation or two down the road "full" equality will be the norm.

wraithgirl February 5 2009, 17:57:07 UTC

I'd really like to think so. Then, I go to Toys R Us and wonder if we'll *ever* really have equality, with the aisles and aisles of pink-packaged dolls and dishes and kitchen sets and the camo-coloured shelves of trucks and racecars.

Even better, I would love to see true equality and a respect for diversity and difference. Because we can all be *equal* without all being *the same*.

wraithgirl February 5 2009, 18:04:03 UTC

I remember that my first job out of university had a dress code. Women were not permitted to wear pants - women had to wear skirts or dresses. It was explained that pants on women, even suits pants were not appropriate as they were often too tight and revealing.

seal_clubber February 5 2009, 18:32:19 UTC

Here's a quote from page 91 of The Women's Dress for Success (mandatory reading for HellCo employees):

"...don't wear pants to the office. Our latest research shows 6 percent of men are threatened, while 53 percent admit to being turned on by women wearing pants. ... Most women understand this is dangerous, because if you turn a man on, you diminish your image as an expert or an authority figure."

(Men get the male version of Dress For Success, except our version was written in 1988, and so has some hilarious fashion tips. Like, if you're Latino, avoid wearing bright pink silk shirts to the workplace).

I ranted about this earlier here.

wraithgirl February 5 2009, 18:41:05 UTC

I had (mercifully) forgotten about Hellco's policy in this regard.

What I find amazing is that this stuff was written, not in 1950, but within my own lifetime, even within my own adulthood. People wrote these books and other people bought them and read them, *less than 20 years ago*.

alivicwil February 6 2009, 06:38:09 UTC

if 53 percent of the pervs at work get a hard-on when
I wear pants, what the fuck happens when I wear a skirt?!

seal_clubber February 6 2009, 07:49:08 UTC

Yeah, that kind of made inverse sense to me, too.

By the way, and on a completely unrelated note, did you see that you won the Porn Star or My Little Pony Quiz?

alivicwil February 6 2009, 07:59:09 UTC

I did see that!

But... I dunno. It's been hot, and my brain's not working, and somehow I forgot to comment!

I like winning things, so I was pleased!

I also had a My Little Pony as a kid (Apple Jack... Orange, with yellow mane and green eyes, and apples on its arse), and, hey, I like porn (who doesn't?!)... So... Yay!!

seal_clubber February 6 2009, 08:05:46 UTC

Yay! :-)

wraithgirl February 6 2009, 15:00:19 UTC

You make me laugh and laugh.

"apples on its arse" Bwah!

alivicwil February 7 2009, 03:34:44 UTC

:D

I found a picture of 'him' here - see!

I later realised that it was probably intended to be a girl, but I always referred to it as a boy. In fact, it married my friend's Cotton Candy! (Which had to be a girl, cos, you know, it was pink!)

wraithgirl February 7 2009, 06:02:46 UTC

GMinor's dolls marry each other all the time. Emma was especially fond of Mulan; they got married often. She's an equal-opportunity wedding planner.

Apple Jack is awesome. Just makes me laugh...

alivicwil February 7 2009, 06:38:13 UTC

I had 1 Ken doll, but 7 Barbies. I don't think I ever had a wedding for them, but I used to move Ken down the line of Barbies on the shelf each night, so that he could sleep next to all of them, and no Barbie felt left out.

My Pound Puppy married the same friend's PP.

It only occurred to me years later that she was a Jehovah's Witness and I was... well, nothing really, but C of E for a couple of years of school Scripture (until the idea of an ever-present God freaked me out and mum put me in non-Scripture). It was never going to work between the toys!

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