Green with Annoyance
This kind of thing annoys the heck out of me. My bank, my cable company, all these places where I have been a loyal customer for years are offering new customers gifts and perks. Me, a longtime customer, I get squat.
I just now had this conversation with the teller at TD Bank.
ME:I've had a chequing account with you guys for about 20 years now. Can I get an iPod?
TD:No, sorry, that's just for customers who switch their chequing account from another bank.
ME:So if I closed my account, opened a chequing account at another bank, and then switched it back to you guys, then I'd get an iPod?
TD:...I guess so, yeah. But would you really want to--
ME:So this is pretty much a loyalty disincentive program, then, isn't it?
TD:...no, when a new customer--
ME:There's a Royal Bank right next door. I could close my account with you right now, go over there, and be back here in half an hour to switch my chequing account to TD.
TD:...uh...
ME:Can we just take it as a given, then, that I'm going to do that?
TD:Why would you--
ME:So if you just give me an iPod right now, it'll save me about half an hour's time and you about two hours' worth of filling in the paperwork for closing my current account and then transferring my new one over.
TD:The... the iPods are for new customers tranferring their chequing account from another bank to TD.
ME:So, "No", then, to my iPod initiative?
TD:...Will there be anything else today Mr. Clubber?
ME:Apparently not.
TD:[brightly] Thank you for banking with TD!
I swear, if the Royal Bank ever starts offering a free gift for opening or switching a new account a toaster, for example I'm going to pingpong the same account back and forth between them to see how many iPods and toasters I can rack up in a single day, and solve all my Christmas/birthday present buying in one fell swoop.