not again...

[seakitty84]

Well today was Warped Tour and it fucking rocked! The bands were awesome, the guys were hot, the mosh pits were pumped up, and the crowed surfing was a rush, and no broken teeth this time! I am as red as a Target shirt my allergies are killing me but I have a buzz and had some chinese food so its all good. The day rocked, MCR just ahh..they were great, and The Starting line...again, speechless. Only one thing...for those of you who I have cared to tell know about Phil, others I may get around to. Well I knew Phil for a week and we had a blast, spent the night with him and it was so much fun and it was so nice and, well, I go to the beach for two days and come back and he has a girlfriend who is 18, hes 26...yeah, I know. As Steph says what can they possibly have in common except for sex...and maybe music. Well don't ask me why cuz yeah, I still wish he didn't have a gf, and I know this sounds so stupid, but even just after a week I just miss having fun with the dude. Well after the concert and my kick ass chinese food, out of no where, I just really wish I would get a call from him saying come over. Just to have someone to sleep with. It's weird, I just outta of the blue really really wished I could do that. To me, it sounds stupid to have that thought about someone after a week. Is it cuz I'm lonely? Is it because I am hornier that an fucking animal in heat? Is it because of the look he gave me the next time I saw him after, this look that he was happy to see me and how he stood at the door way for a few seconds looking at me before he left? Or is it cuz hey, me and him had a connection? I don't know why, but I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and I guess cuz I am fucking loser I am wishing for a certian reason him and I met.

Fuck it was weird, I even called Josh hoping he was at home so I can say hey, can you just hold me, I need someone to hold. I would feel partially guilty cause I know how he feel about me but hey...I don't know. Maybe this is teaching me to hold my own and be ok just by myself, I don't know...I guess I just don't like it.