Dear Engineering Ass,

[seacircle]

I understand that you have been with the company for a long time and have a reputation as a grumpy curmudgeon that you have to upkeep. However, going forward, I would appreciate you coming to me, the team manager, with concerns and/or questions about my team's activities and/or processes, BEFORE dropping a patently untrue and/or misinformed update about us in a mixed meeting, of which I was not a participant. Now I am having to do damage control for something that never happened. If we were, in fact, conducting business like you think and/or are pretending we are, it stands to reason that my metrics would be a crapton better than they are right now, and I would be getting a fat bonus. Can you follow that logic, you codefarter?

If this happens again, I will high-kick that stupid robot the eff off your desk.

Regards,
Seacircle

PS: Nice hair.