something i haven't actually had time to think over until now...
I walk in the door
"Is that my darling granddaughter I hear?"~her
"Hi Moona, how are you?"~me
"Oh I'm just fine"~her, She then proceeds to stare at my legs (i was wearing a skirt), which I thought she might have a problem with my flip flops
"Moon what are you lookin at?"~me
"Oh it's nothing except you have very attractive legs"~her
"well thank you moona"~me
"if we could only get rid of the middle"~her refering to my stomach. She can't just give me a damn compliment and leave it at that. I love her I honestly do but I am working too damn hard to like what stares back at me in the mirror and then she says something like that and it sets me back. I told her I wa sworking out that I signed up for aerobics classes and i really am watching what i eat a little better. She just smiled at me but the smile you just use when you hear but you don't listen. and then there was this:
"So Moona they are showing this documentary about a franciscan monk at school called Saint of 9/11"~me
"Oh that's nice"~her
"It's cosponsered by the Center, the Catholic Student Center and a couple other organizations and it should be pretty interesting."~me
"why is it cosponsered by your center?"~her
"well he was gay"~me
"oh i wonder if he was celibate. all the straight ones are supposed to be"~her
"moona he was a priest, shouldn't it be implied?"~me
What bugs me is that had I not revealed to her that he was gay his celibacy would have never been in question. I understand she is a product of her time and such but still it bugs me. We did talk about a couple of good things like my residents and my schoolwork and everything...but still she made me feel like crap and it's funny because i can have the greatest self esteem day on the planet but my grandmother's words can just ruin it.
My mother did do a good job at cheering me up, she's learned that i react better without the criticism and such.
i promise no more updates today. <3!