(no subject)
activities of past 2 days prove definitively that i am not manic. my little introverted soul is totally drained from the number of people I've had to interact with ... what with working 6 days in a row, and then that party at Kate and Matt's, and then the yoga workshop today & the entire Michigan Anusara teaching community treating me like some kind of prodigal daughter... "Oh, this is Jessica! The teacher from Arizona!" "Oh, Jessica, we've been waiting to meet you, are you available to do private lessons here or there...?" How did this happen? These people have never even seen me teach.
And meanwhile, I'm practicing any weight-bearing poses on the ridgetops of my hands rather than flat on my palms, working my forearm muscles twice as hard, because my wrist is fucked. I think I need a brace for tomorrow's practice. I can't help it, it happens to all of us sometimes, I was feeling cranky as hell at that workshop and I think I came across as a standoffish bitch. especially to one woman who offered to work with my wrist. This, after EVERYBODY making such a deal of my injured wrist all day long. So she offers to work with me and I sort of snapped, "Well, I'm trained in therapeutics, and there's really nothing to do for it now but keep off of it," and I don't even know WHY I would snap at someone who's offering to try to relieve my pain.
I don't like being injured & limited in my practice, but at the same time, it gives me a better sense of what it might be like to be in one of my students' bodies at some point. my lower-back injury & knee troubles have helped me to understand better what students with those injuries need.
so anyway, I was overwhelmed by all of the people & faces, & the concept of being in a huge white room full of yogis anywhere besides Arizona.
and Jamie was doing great, but the room was full of ... several of us who teach Anusara, and then a bunch of people who are new to Anusara. So there was a lot of teaching of stuff that was review for me, and I kind of just wanted to be moving and flowing and losing myself in it.
Tomorrow'll be better.
And last night some guy at this party walks over and sits near me and says "I'll try this again," and I said, "What, the religious debate over at the table's too much for you now?" (there were some obnoxious people there). and he says, "Actually, I came here to meet you."
I thought he meant the party and I kind of laughed and said, "What, Kate told you I'd pop in?"
And he goes, "No, I came over to this couch to meet YOU."
I just got all shy & clammed up. I can be SO socially awkward when I'm in certain moods. Other times I'm charming and flirty as hell.
But then, I have been accused of flirting with N. & mostly I sat in the corner and flirted and cuddled with N. & just kept thinking that this had to be wrong, because if his girlfriend were there, he wouldn't have been like that with me. If he won't do it in front of his girlfriend... well.
Also last night he said "She's more like a roommate than a girlfriend right now." And she threw a shoe at him yesterday.
SIGH at it all.
I had no idea what to say to couch guy throughout any of this & I was sort of absorbed in talking to N and Kate. So couch guy walked away. I sort of wanted him to because when he first arrived he stood in the front hall having a very loud conversation wherein it sounded like he was breaking up with his girlfriend.
Nope, not gonna be your rebound lay. Next, please.
p.s. I want to be a hermit. Or a spinster. Or a nun. Not a Catholic nun. A Buddhist nun.
And meanwhile, I'm practicing any weight-bearing poses on the ridgetops of my hands rather than flat on my palms, working my forearm muscles twice as hard, because my wrist is fucked. I think I need a brace for tomorrow's practice. I can't help it, it happens to all of us sometimes, I was feeling cranky as hell at that workshop and I think I came across as a standoffish bitch. especially to one woman who offered to work with my wrist. This, after EVERYBODY making such a deal of my injured wrist all day long. So she offers to work with me and I sort of snapped, "Well, I'm trained in therapeutics, and there's really nothing to do for it now but keep off of it," and I don't even know WHY I would snap at someone who's offering to try to relieve my pain.
I don't like being injured & limited in my practice, but at the same time, it gives me a better sense of what it might be like to be in one of my students' bodies at some point. my lower-back injury & knee troubles have helped me to understand better what students with those injuries need.
so anyway, I was overwhelmed by all of the people & faces, & the concept of being in a huge white room full of yogis anywhere besides Arizona.
and Jamie was doing great, but the room was full of ... several of us who teach Anusara, and then a bunch of people who are new to Anusara. So there was a lot of teaching of stuff that was review for me, and I kind of just wanted to be moving and flowing and losing myself in it.
Tomorrow'll be better.
And last night some guy at this party walks over and sits near me and says "I'll try this again," and I said, "What, the religious debate over at the table's too much for you now?" (there were some obnoxious people there). and he says, "Actually, I came here to meet you."
I thought he meant the party and I kind of laughed and said, "What, Kate told you I'd pop in?"
And he goes, "No, I came over to this couch to meet YOU."
I just got all shy & clammed up. I can be SO socially awkward when I'm in certain moods. Other times I'm charming and flirty as hell.
But then, I have been accused of flirting with N. & mostly I sat in the corner and flirted and cuddled with N. & just kept thinking that this had to be wrong, because if his girlfriend were there, he wouldn't have been like that with me. If he won't do it in front of his girlfriend... well.
Also last night he said "She's more like a roommate than a girlfriend right now." And she threw a shoe at him yesterday.
SIGH at it all.
I had no idea what to say to couch guy throughout any of this & I was sort of absorbed in talking to N and Kate. So couch guy walked away. I sort of wanted him to because when he first arrived he stood in the front hall having a very loud conversation wherein it sounded like he was breaking up with his girlfriend.
Nope, not gonna be your rebound lay. Next, please.
p.s. I want to be a hermit. Or a spinster. Or a nun. Not a Catholic nun. A Buddhist nun.