(no subject)
So, about an hour ago I got my third call from an "Unknown number". All three calls have been calls that barely lasted two seconds before ending, meaning they wouldn't even give me the time to pick up. Like, they were just ringing me for me to call them, you know?
And it might sound... whatever. But. I don't know. It's like... it first happened about a week ago, and I thought it was my mom so I called her but it wasn't her. Then the next day, and I just kinda let it go. And then an hour ago.
It could be him. Even though the time line it's totally fucked up. Today's call was around 7pm, an that's like 1 am over there so. If it isn't, I couldn't care less about who it actually is. But if it is... well, first of all, the very least he could do is call and let me pick up. Second, he could very well call my house, he knows my freaking number. Or send me an email or whatever the fuck.
But maybe... maybe it isn't and I really am just telling myself it could be him. Which stands to reason is the most likely scenario.
I'm changing plans tomorrow morning. I already talked with my carrier's rep and everything. I chose the plan and everything. I'm changing tomorrow and there's no going back, because in the plan I am until tonight, the $80 bucks plan with 360 international minutes per month is no longer an active plan. I got into that plan in May of '08, so you can imagine how that plan is long gone.
I'm... taking it one step at a time. Because even now... my best friend just called, Olga, and told me that she's pregnant with her third child, even if she's having tons of money problems. My other best friend, Karen, is engaged. All those things have happened and I'm... I haven't told him. My life as I know it it's changing and he doesn't know, he has no idea. Because we no longer speak. Because he's no longer a part of my life. How fucked up is that?
You know what I need? Not a song that goes "I lost you and it was my fault and I regret and I wish you could come back", but a song that goes, "I lost you because I chose to lose you, to let go of you, because holding onto you was killing me, bit by bit, piece by piece, from the inside out. I lost you, because it was the best thing for me. I let go of you, but you let go of me a long time before." That's a song I need for my soundtrack. Any ideas??
And it might sound... whatever. But. I don't know. It's like... it first happened about a week ago, and I thought it was my mom so I called her but it wasn't her. Then the next day, and I just kinda let it go. And then an hour ago.
It could be him. Even though the time line it's totally fucked up. Today's call was around 7pm, an that's like 1 am over there so. If it isn't, I couldn't care less about who it actually is. But if it is... well, first of all, the very least he could do is call and let me pick up. Second, he could very well call my house, he knows my freaking number. Or send me an email or whatever the fuck.
But maybe... maybe it isn't and I really am just telling myself it could be him. Which stands to reason is the most likely scenario.
I'm changing plans tomorrow morning. I already talked with my carrier's rep and everything. I chose the plan and everything. I'm changing tomorrow and there's no going back, because in the plan I am until tonight, the $80 bucks plan with 360 international minutes per month is no longer an active plan. I got into that plan in May of '08, so you can imagine how that plan is long gone.
I'm... taking it one step at a time. Because even now... my best friend just called, Olga, and told me that she's pregnant with her third child, even if she's having tons of money problems. My other best friend, Karen, is engaged. All those things have happened and I'm... I haven't told him. My life as I know it it's changing and he doesn't know, he has no idea. Because we no longer speak. Because he's no longer a part of my life. How fucked up is that?
You know what I need? Not a song that goes "I lost you and it was my fault and I regret and I wish you could come back", but a song that goes, "I lost you because I chose to lose you, to let go of you, because holding onto you was killing me, bit by bit, piece by piece, from the inside out. I lost you, because it was the best thing for me. I let go of you, but you let go of me a long time before." That's a song I need for my soundtrack. Any ideas??