(Untitled)

[sdlucly]

I'm having a bit of a psychological dilemma. In my relationship with Jose, because we are both so very different, I've come to understand that one can accept the other person's opinion, even if you don't understand it and, for you, 2 + 2 = 17 and for him 2 + 2 = pi^3. That's something, both Jose and I, have learned. I might think my reasoning for

Comments

[nysha63]

{{{hugs}}}

My late husband & I stayed married for 20 years and agreed to disagree many, many times. Personally, I think one of our strengths as a couple was our ability to listen to each other's side and not get upset when the other person wouldn't change his/her mind.

Parents should never put their children in the middle of their marital disputes and I'm really sorry your parents did that to you. You were very wise and mature to pull away before you went nuts from too much emotional trauma.

[sdlucly]

Jose and I came to that agreement about two years ago. We've learned that, almost the hard way, but we did. And I think we're a better couple for that. *nods*

They shouldn't have done it, no, but my mom doesn't think so. She thinks she had every right to get me in the middle. She says because she didn't have anyone else to confide in, and I get that, but god, there were times... god, for real, there were times when I wanted to pluck my eyes out with a fork, I was so desperate. I... I'm not the same, I won't ever be the same, and I wonder if that would have been different had I only been told they were having problems and not know every single detail.

Thanks for your comment, babe. God, it's been AGES since I've heard about you.!!! *huggles* How are you, what are you up to? *huggles again* Also, I so needed your hugs. *hugs again*

[nysha63]

*huggles back*

I'm doing great. I started back to college this year at the ripe old age of 43. Hopefully in about 24 months I'll have a social worker/psychologist degree and be able to help troubled kids and their families figure out how to make things work.

[kim_cc]

It's a difficult position to be in -- the intermediary between two parents. Or between any family members.

sighs

Been there.

You are very entitled to what you feel -- and maybe you mother needs a counselor. Someone not you who is not connected to the situation to whom she can rant at all she wants and not make you feel guilty/anxious/whatever because you don't always agree with what she says.

Kim CC

[60schic]

Babes - I saved this to read and only just did.

As a parent, I can with confidence say that what your parents did was wrong. Whatever problems they were having in their marriage, the details should not have been laid at your feet. It damages the parent child relationship, as you discovered. It's not fair to make a child a confidant like that. I'm sure both of your parents love you, but they were selfishly using you to vent and to make themselves feel better.

You have 2 chances in your lifetime to have a good parent/child relationship. Your first one got fucked up. Your second one will come if and when you are a parent, and you will have learned to protect your child from unnecessary pain and anguish like this. *pets sdlucly*