equation
so I have this equation I have been working on fer a long time. and every time I try to figure it out, I get the wrong answer. the problem is the equation seems to be undefined. basically the equation doesn't make sense. it makes me sad. David is never going to change. he doesn't learn new things and he doesn't grow. he is stuck in the mud right where he wants to be. and sadly it just isn't right fer me. and what I want from him seems to be undefined, because I just don't seem to want him, and that is honestly all he will ever be. I want someone with a different mindset, a different attitude, a different personality, and a different out look on life. I think I want a different person, but just for me. he can still do the family thing and the friend thing (maybe, and honestly he never quite figured out the lover thing.) but I need something different for the confidant, different for the intimate, and different for the life companion.
and somehow I find myself trapped in this horrible and sad relationship that makes it almost impossible to want to go to the place where we all live to see my kids. I may not understand why Sam feels the way she does, but I do understand the feeling. I keep thinking to myself, how do I get rid of the problem? how do I get rid of David? is it so wrong to want to be happy?
this equation hurts my head. David hurts my head, my stomach, and my heart (sometimes all at once.)
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