Saving Grace, Chapter DOS!!!
Before anything, must wish a very happy, happy, HAPPY belated birthday to both baggers and cutting_rm_flr. :::throws out lots of loveness!!!:::
Title: Saving Grace, Chapter II
Author: ScullyAsTrinity
Rating: Teen
Pairing: Elliot/Olivia
Author's Note: Thanks to dirty_virgin and cutting_rm_flr for the help. Totally loving the crap out of the fandom that is SVU.
Bitterness.
It had seeped into her being, trickled down and out into her voice. On the tip of her tongue, it stung. There was a fine line between sarcasm and that bite.
It bit him, gnawed deep. She spoke and it cut directly through him, entering and exiting, taking a piece of his soul. Sometimes its trajectory was skewed and it would ricochet off of something to come back at him again. The quips accompanying the roll of the eyes and the belatedly shaken head did nothing to deter his concern. There was no mirth in the depths of her eyes any longer, no happiness in the drive she possessed.
There was malice and yes, there was hate. She knew retaliation well and she knew disgust; she knew them both all too well. And now, that was what encompassed her being. It overturned the good and the beautiful, seared its way through the optimistic and the nice and greedily hollowed out the bright and vibrant.
Before he knew it, before his eyes she was very nearly an empty shell of a person. Olivia Benson by name, a black and white rendering by character. She’d been fine the other night… he could have sworn…
She had ceased to accompany them on post-shift bar hops. There was something, something deep and dark and desolate and it was burrowed far down in her being, feeding on what was left of her soul. He feared if she had one drink she would then have five and hate herself for the person she'd become, a twin of her mother.
The ever-strong facade she'd managed to portray for the outside world was just barely in place for him. He'd send a searching gaze her way and her veneer would be a second longer in coming up to cover her. Eyes, brown and somehow piercing in the saddest way would follow him across a room before they would follow the evidence.
And it killed him. It killed him to know she would watch him while his back was turned but still, her eyes would search him out. Even in a cramped apartment, a tiny alley, her eyes would locate him and hold on his frame until he acknowledged her and looked away. It did him in, the way her spirit had shriveled inside of her.
It stole his breath when he caught her slumped form in her chair, gazing at the paperwork in front of her as if it didn't exist. "Liv?"
"Hm?" She pulled out of her reverie, her arm springing to life and nearly knocking the stagnant cup of coffee to the floor.
"What?"
A withering, he felt it in his chest when his mouth screwed up in sadness, "You're out of it." It was all he could do, to sit and stare and watch. It was all he could do to feel his heart clench for her, knowing how hard it was to continue, how easy it would be to give up.
A blink was his answer and for a moment he accepted it, just let her go on feeling nothing. But Elliot got up from his seat and moved to snatch their coats from the battered pegs, tossing hers to her haphazardly. "Let's get out of here for awhile."
With a quick glance to the wall clock, she looked back to him. "It's ten, we haven't done anything yet."
Elliot pointed to the stack of manila files cluttered about his desk. "Paperwork demands coffee," he stated, crossing his hands over his chest in an authoritative manner. She rolled her eyes expertly and shrugged the leather over her shoulders, following him out of the precinct.
The morning greeting them, the chill of the day shivering up their limbs to settle on the back of their necks. Her hands found the bottom of her pockets and her shoulders slumped just a bit, her body taking the position of someone with the chills. "'S brisk," Elliot commented, glancing at her before leaning over to nudge her with his shoulder.
Olivia nodded belatedly, but otherwise said nothing, content to bask in the freshness of the day. The only sound amongst the hustle and bustle of the city around them was the dull thwack of their shoes on the pavement. He wanted to fill the silence with something witty, something intriguing, something that would just make her speak to him again.
Before he’d called her to the bar she’d been just as withdrawn and while his admission probably hadn’t helped things, he was glad that it hadn’t broken her. Hell, he was more than glad; it was a miracle that he’d been able to say as much without cutting off the word flow.
It wasn't about what he'd said to her last week, it couldn't be. He wouldn't allow it to be about that, not even a little bit. "Hey, about what I said last week..." Damn. His. Inner. Monologue. The words would have slipped out regardless and that he knew, so he went with them, keeping his demeanor as relaxed as possible.
She paused under a large maple tree, studying her shoes before she lifted her eyes to meet his. "What about it?"
Elliot licked his lips, waiting a moment for the breeze to cool the moisture on his lips. He'd never lied to her, never lied to her face. He had never misled her or fibbed. But he had the opportunity about then, to say that he was drunk and didn't remember. He could have said, "Did I say anything stupid?" or "Forget I said anything."
The twisting in his guts was half nerves while the other half was the simple concrete feeling that he had to tell her what was really on his mind. After all, she'd been the one he talked to initially about the divorce; she was the one he called in the middle of the night to make sure he was still alive; she was still the woman he called in the middle of the night just to make sure she was alive. She was still the only woman who made him question everything that came out of his mouth. "I wanted to make sure... we both remembered it."
The side of her mouth switched, taunting him with the hopes of a smile. It never reached her lips, but it touched all around her eyes and that settled some part of him. "It's not a matter of remembering El, it's really just processing it."
Pursing his lips, he nodded slowly and began walking again. She followed, a step later, finding his stride easily. This could go one of two ways, or so he hoped. It could be incredibly easy or make things exponentially worse. But the way she was sighing and the way she was walking just a smidge too close to him made him think that things could be looking on the up and up.
Autumn clung about them, pulling them along easily. Starbucks was just around the corner and while they usually made the trip in a very few quick minutes, they meandered this time; striding along slowly, neither wanting to admit they were relishing the other's quiet company.
Somehow, his hands wound up in his pockets too and he bit his lip, clenching his jaw. Deep breaths filled his lungs and he was struck with the oddest thought: his kids liked her. They loved Olivia, everything about her. His mind swam with that small fact, making his heart swell just a little. It was a strange morsel of hope to digest, a strange fact like that, but in an instant, it made it all seem just a tad bit brighter.
As they rounded another corner, Olivia spoke up. "Have you really thought about this, thought about what you said and really... what it means?"
Pausing on the pavement, he turned towards her and smiled. "Liv, I see it like this... what have I got left to lose? If I can keep it professional this long... well you get what I'm saying."
Skeptically, she sized him up. "No, but I'm getting there." And then a smile broke out across her face, eyes sparkling in that way that made him ponder the true value of a google and the span of the universe and what love was supposed to feel like and what it did feel like.
“How are you doing lately?” he asked her, tugging on her arm a bit as they pulled up in front of Starbucks.
Olivia sighed and smiled a tiny bit. “I’m just working through things in my head, it’ll get better.” A nod answered her but she added, “Thanks for asking though.”
He desperately wanted to taste the hollow of her throat but instead he walked a few steps and held the door open for her, truly relishing the outline of her ass as she walked by.
It was going to be a good week after all.
Me and Meaghan are sitting in work... watching Scrubs on my laptop. We're asses, it's true. Funniest thing... Meaghan thinks she has mono and the whole department knows. In fact, Professor Holley comes up this morning and says, "So how's that mono?" and Meg's all, "How did you know?" Heheh, "Well, you were shouting about it pretty loudly yesterday..." and she's all "You better stay away I'm probably contagious..." and he's all "Well you can only get it by-oh nevermind, I won't go there..." and she cracks up and is all "No offense Professor Holley but I'm not comfortable with that." Score for Holley: 1... score for Meg: 0. Totally made my morning.
And she asked Prof. Norton-Hawk for her cell phone number... hehe but not in so many words. OMG, too good. And Professor Wiltz is avoiding her like the plague... prolly because she SAID she has the plague. We also walked around Boston for forty-five minutes looking for lunch... and ended up at Burger King. We're champs, it's true.
4:30 class tonight... le booooo.
Title: Saving Grace, Chapter II
Author: ScullyAsTrinity
Rating: Teen
Pairing: Elliot/Olivia
Author's Note: Thanks to dirty_virgin and cutting_rm_flr for the help. Totally loving the crap out of the fandom that is SVU.
Bitterness.
It had seeped into her being, trickled down and out into her voice. On the tip of her tongue, it stung. There was a fine line between sarcasm and that bite.
It bit him, gnawed deep. She spoke and it cut directly through him, entering and exiting, taking a piece of his soul. Sometimes its trajectory was skewed and it would ricochet off of something to come back at him again. The quips accompanying the roll of the eyes and the belatedly shaken head did nothing to deter his concern. There was no mirth in the depths of her eyes any longer, no happiness in the drive she possessed.
There was malice and yes, there was hate. She knew retaliation well and she knew disgust; she knew them both all too well. And now, that was what encompassed her being. It overturned the good and the beautiful, seared its way through the optimistic and the nice and greedily hollowed out the bright and vibrant.
Before he knew it, before his eyes she was very nearly an empty shell of a person. Olivia Benson by name, a black and white rendering by character. She’d been fine the other night… he could have sworn…
She had ceased to accompany them on post-shift bar hops. There was something, something deep and dark and desolate and it was burrowed far down in her being, feeding on what was left of her soul. He feared if she had one drink she would then have five and hate herself for the person she'd become, a twin of her mother.
The ever-strong facade she'd managed to portray for the outside world was just barely in place for him. He'd send a searching gaze her way and her veneer would be a second longer in coming up to cover her. Eyes, brown and somehow piercing in the saddest way would follow him across a room before they would follow the evidence.
And it killed him. It killed him to know she would watch him while his back was turned but still, her eyes would search him out. Even in a cramped apartment, a tiny alley, her eyes would locate him and hold on his frame until he acknowledged her and looked away. It did him in, the way her spirit had shriveled inside of her.
It stole his breath when he caught her slumped form in her chair, gazing at the paperwork in front of her as if it didn't exist. "Liv?"
"Hm?" She pulled out of her reverie, her arm springing to life and nearly knocking the stagnant cup of coffee to the floor.
"What?"
A withering, he felt it in his chest when his mouth screwed up in sadness, "You're out of it." It was all he could do, to sit and stare and watch. It was all he could do to feel his heart clench for her, knowing how hard it was to continue, how easy it would be to give up.
A blink was his answer and for a moment he accepted it, just let her go on feeling nothing. But Elliot got up from his seat and moved to snatch their coats from the battered pegs, tossing hers to her haphazardly. "Let's get out of here for awhile."
With a quick glance to the wall clock, she looked back to him. "It's ten, we haven't done anything yet."
Elliot pointed to the stack of manila files cluttered about his desk. "Paperwork demands coffee," he stated, crossing his hands over his chest in an authoritative manner. She rolled her eyes expertly and shrugged the leather over her shoulders, following him out of the precinct.
The morning greeting them, the chill of the day shivering up their limbs to settle on the back of their necks. Her hands found the bottom of her pockets and her shoulders slumped just a bit, her body taking the position of someone with the chills. "'S brisk," Elliot commented, glancing at her before leaning over to nudge her with his shoulder.
Olivia nodded belatedly, but otherwise said nothing, content to bask in the freshness of the day. The only sound amongst the hustle and bustle of the city around them was the dull thwack of their shoes on the pavement. He wanted to fill the silence with something witty, something intriguing, something that would just make her speak to him again.
Before he’d called her to the bar she’d been just as withdrawn and while his admission probably hadn’t helped things, he was glad that it hadn’t broken her. Hell, he was more than glad; it was a miracle that he’d been able to say as much without cutting off the word flow.
It wasn't about what he'd said to her last week, it couldn't be. He wouldn't allow it to be about that, not even a little bit. "Hey, about what I said last week..." Damn. His. Inner. Monologue. The words would have slipped out regardless and that he knew, so he went with them, keeping his demeanor as relaxed as possible.
She paused under a large maple tree, studying her shoes before she lifted her eyes to meet his. "What about it?"
Elliot licked his lips, waiting a moment for the breeze to cool the moisture on his lips. He'd never lied to her, never lied to her face. He had never misled her or fibbed. But he had the opportunity about then, to say that he was drunk and didn't remember. He could have said, "Did I say anything stupid?" or "Forget I said anything."
The twisting in his guts was half nerves while the other half was the simple concrete feeling that he had to tell her what was really on his mind. After all, she'd been the one he talked to initially about the divorce; she was the one he called in the middle of the night to make sure he was still alive; she was still the woman he called in the middle of the night just to make sure she was alive. She was still the only woman who made him question everything that came out of his mouth. "I wanted to make sure... we both remembered it."
The side of her mouth switched, taunting him with the hopes of a smile. It never reached her lips, but it touched all around her eyes and that settled some part of him. "It's not a matter of remembering El, it's really just processing it."
Pursing his lips, he nodded slowly and began walking again. She followed, a step later, finding his stride easily. This could go one of two ways, or so he hoped. It could be incredibly easy or make things exponentially worse. But the way she was sighing and the way she was walking just a smidge too close to him made him think that things could be looking on the up and up.
Autumn clung about them, pulling them along easily. Starbucks was just around the corner and while they usually made the trip in a very few quick minutes, they meandered this time; striding along slowly, neither wanting to admit they were relishing the other's quiet company.
Somehow, his hands wound up in his pockets too and he bit his lip, clenching his jaw. Deep breaths filled his lungs and he was struck with the oddest thought: his kids liked her. They loved Olivia, everything about her. His mind swam with that small fact, making his heart swell just a little. It was a strange morsel of hope to digest, a strange fact like that, but in an instant, it made it all seem just a tad bit brighter.
As they rounded another corner, Olivia spoke up. "Have you really thought about this, thought about what you said and really... what it means?"
Pausing on the pavement, he turned towards her and smiled. "Liv, I see it like this... what have I got left to lose? If I can keep it professional this long... well you get what I'm saying."
Skeptically, she sized him up. "No, but I'm getting there." And then a smile broke out across her face, eyes sparkling in that way that made him ponder the true value of a google and the span of the universe and what love was supposed to feel like and what it did feel like.
“How are you doing lately?” he asked her, tugging on her arm a bit as they pulled up in front of Starbucks.
Olivia sighed and smiled a tiny bit. “I’m just working through things in my head, it’ll get better.” A nod answered her but she added, “Thanks for asking though.”
He desperately wanted to taste the hollow of her throat but instead he walked a few steps and held the door open for her, truly relishing the outline of her ass as she walked by.
It was going to be a good week after all.
Me and Meaghan are sitting in work... watching Scrubs on my laptop. We're asses, it's true. Funniest thing... Meaghan thinks she has mono and the whole department knows. In fact, Professor Holley comes up this morning and says, "So how's that mono?" and Meg's all, "How did you know?" Heheh, "Well, you were shouting about it pretty loudly yesterday..." and she's all "You better stay away I'm probably contagious..." and he's all "Well you can only get it by-oh nevermind, I won't go there..." and she cracks up and is all "No offense Professor Holley but I'm not comfortable with that." Score for Holley: 1... score for Meg: 0. Totally made my morning.
And she asked Prof. Norton-Hawk for her cell phone number... hehe but not in so many words. OMG, too good. And Professor Wiltz is avoiding her like the plague... prolly because she SAID she has the plague. We also walked around Boston for forty-five minutes looking for lunch... and ended up at Burger King. We're champs, it's true.
4:30 class tonight... le booooo.