location
i realized that my profile had my location listed as the united states. for right now, that is wrong. i'd set up my lj profile when i was interning in dc and i figured that putting the us would keep it general enough so that no matter where i'd go, it'd still be right. little did i know, i'd be here, outside the us and on the other side of the world.
i have a performance on sunday. oh yeah, we started a little improv theatre group here. only one in bj at least with english speakers as far as i know. there may be chinese ones that i don't know about. anyway, our first performance as a group is sunday. i hate being in front of people, being the center of attention, having them looking at me, listening to my every word and watching my every action. i know, it's ridiculous, why be in a theatre group if i hate performing? i like the weekly workshops and practices. i like improv and playing theatre sports. it's fun. performing is kind of the necessary evil of the whole deal. i'm supposed to tell all of my friends and have them all come so that the night will be a success. i don't want my friends to come. at least if i fuck up, it would be in front of strangers. maybe i'd be less nervous knowing that the audience is a bunch of nobody's to me. so my friend claire calls me today and tells me she's coming. apparently one of the other members who also comes to swing made an announcement at dancing on monday. great. i don't think i'll tell any of my other friends, but if it comes up, i may have to.
i'm not gonna be at my best. although there are times when i've surprised myself at how good i can be on my toes. still, each time it happens, i am surprised. and i haven't been to practice for weeks on account of being out of town and now sick. i'm reminded of maggie who i used to work with. we used to rotate giving presentations at our weekly 9 am lab meetings and maggie hated being in front of people, especially since she was mortally afraid of our boss and his colleague. there was one presentation where she did so well, i was stunned. i congratulated her and she shared with me what she'd had for breakfast that morning-two shots of tequila. maybe i should just get myself liquored up and see what happens. but i probably won't for the same reason i never drink when i'm hardcore dancing swing or salsa. i may spin and lose my balance and fall on my face. i'd rather have my wits about me. maybe then i can pleasantly surprise myself. maybe. i hope. in the meantime, i'd just like to feel better so that i can make myself miserable with performance anxiety.
i have a performance on sunday. oh yeah, we started a little improv theatre group here. only one in bj at least with english speakers as far as i know. there may be chinese ones that i don't know about. anyway, our first performance as a group is sunday. i hate being in front of people, being the center of attention, having them looking at me, listening to my every word and watching my every action. i know, it's ridiculous, why be in a theatre group if i hate performing? i like the weekly workshops and practices. i like improv and playing theatre sports. it's fun. performing is kind of the necessary evil of the whole deal. i'm supposed to tell all of my friends and have them all come so that the night will be a success. i don't want my friends to come. at least if i fuck up, it would be in front of strangers. maybe i'd be less nervous knowing that the audience is a bunch of nobody's to me. so my friend claire calls me today and tells me she's coming. apparently one of the other members who also comes to swing made an announcement at dancing on monday. great. i don't think i'll tell any of my other friends, but if it comes up, i may have to.
i'm not gonna be at my best. although there are times when i've surprised myself at how good i can be on my toes. still, each time it happens, i am surprised. and i haven't been to practice for weeks on account of being out of town and now sick. i'm reminded of maggie who i used to work with. we used to rotate giving presentations at our weekly 9 am lab meetings and maggie hated being in front of people, especially since she was mortally afraid of our boss and his colleague. there was one presentation where she did so well, i was stunned. i congratulated her and she shared with me what she'd had for breakfast that morning-two shots of tequila. maybe i should just get myself liquored up and see what happens. but i probably won't for the same reason i never drink when i'm hardcore dancing swing or salsa. i may spin and lose my balance and fall on my face. i'd rather have my wits about me. maybe then i can pleasantly surprise myself. maybe. i hope. in the meantime, i'd just like to feel better so that i can make myself miserable with performance anxiety.