(no subject)
I've always been really open with the fact that I used to cut. I mean I didn't shout it from the rooftops but I never denied it.
Now, looking back I realize how fucking STUPID it all was in the first place. Cutting only made the situations worse. It may take away the pain for a minute but the everlasting affects stay with you. It's like a drug. You may not realize it at the time but your shallow getaways always come to bite you in the ass.
But tonight, looking down at my various scars(in various places) I remember that the past IS real. But no way in hell was it worth all this. These are SCARS. Theyll never go away. I don't think his comments(or sometimes lack there of) were really worth this.
I just want to travel back in time and ask myself why I did it. You stupid fucking teenage girl with overly uncontainable emotions. WHY?!
Thats all I want to know.
Do yourself a favor and listen to this song, It's kind of changing my life at the moment.
I do as I please
Now I'm on my knees
Your skin is something that I stir into my tea
And I am watching you
and you are starry, starry, starry
and I'm tumbling down, and I check a frown
Well, just look around
It's why I love this town
just see me serenaded hourly! celebrated sourly!
dedicated dourly; waltzing with the open sea
Clam, crab, cockle, cowrie
will you just look at me?
p.s. I think I'm regaining my innocence this summer. I havent seen my friends at all it seems. I've been painting a lot. Completing puzzles (just finished my 1000 piece one! yay me!), I bough coloring books (do you realize how HARD it is to find a decent coloring book these days?!) and I stole my sisters hannah montana and jonas brothers cd's(and maybe picked up a few of their shirts at ltd. too. on my last shopping trip).
It feels good to not care about the drama of teenage life. Just sink back into how things used to be. Just wait until school starts though. God help me.
Now, looking back I realize how fucking STUPID it all was in the first place. Cutting only made the situations worse. It may take away the pain for a minute but the everlasting affects stay with you. It's like a drug. You may not realize it at the time but your shallow getaways always come to bite you in the ass.
But tonight, looking down at my various scars(in various places) I remember that the past IS real. But no way in hell was it worth all this. These are SCARS. Theyll never go away. I don't think his comments(or sometimes lack there of) were really worth this.
I just want to travel back in time and ask myself why I did it. You stupid fucking teenage girl with overly uncontainable emotions. WHY?!
Thats all I want to know.
Do yourself a favor and listen to this song, It's kind of changing my life at the moment.
I do as I please
Now I'm on my knees
Your skin is something that I stir into my tea
And I am watching you
and you are starry, starry, starry
and I'm tumbling down, and I check a frown
Well, just look around
It's why I love this town
just see me serenaded hourly! celebrated sourly!
dedicated dourly; waltzing with the open sea
Clam, crab, cockle, cowrie
will you just look at me?
p.s. I think I'm regaining my innocence this summer. I havent seen my friends at all it seems. I've been painting a lot. Completing puzzles (just finished my 1000 piece one! yay me!), I bough coloring books (do you realize how HARD it is to find a decent coloring book these days?!) and I stole my sisters hannah montana and jonas brothers cd's(and maybe picked up a few of their shirts at ltd. too. on my last shopping trip).
It feels good to not care about the drama of teenage life. Just sink back into how things used to be. Just wait until school starts though. God help me.