seven small adventures in the combined lives of Brian and Justin
seven small adventures in the combined lives of Brian and Justin
Written by: pinkpapyrus
(for kitkatbyte)
scrooged_media request:
Your choice of adventures!
Brian and Justin explore the rain forest canopy like in Medicine Man where there's lots of ropes and pulleys, or Brian and Justin go spelunking (exploring a cave) where there's... also ropes, but mud as well. Or they could go whitewater rafting! Or jump out of a plane! Maybe for Brian's 40th birthday? Or not.
1
.
Justin was named after his grandmother, Justina. (Strangely? Craig's idea.) Until he was four and old enough to be trusted to their fourteen-year-old neighbor Abigail, Craig's mother played nanny to Justin.
She is:
*the villain behind Justin's affection for Carmen Sandiego ("Technology and geography--more'n you can get from Gumby")
*the one who introduced him to soda at age five ("Tide you over 'til you find the wine cabinet")
and
*the first one to recognize the gayness ("So, my grandson is quite the young artist. He drew me a picture of the prince from The Little Mermaid last week. At any rate, t'was better than his drawing of chestless Ariel.")
She's also the one who encouraged his penchant for wandering ("Lived in Montana 'til I was twenty-four, little squire, and it drove me straight to the edge of the cuckoo cliff. So you see as much of the world as you can, kiddo, before you let one place just swallow you up.")
Justin hasn't seen her since she left Philly when he was seven. She divorced her third husband and moved to Kyoto to live in sin with a manga artist. For his twenty-third birthday, she sent him Japanese hair products and a toy android that grunts "ouch" if it falls into the kitchen sink.
2
.
Brian's cousin, the only one he'll admit biological attachment to, owned an amusement park a few miles west of Pittsburgh when he was younger. Brian only saw it once; Jack spared no love for his relatives and Joan didn't have quite enough faith in the Healing Power of the Lord to ride the Tilt-O-Whirl. What Brian does remember is on par with what he remembers of other places his parents kept him from going to. Big, loud and crowded. Easy to get lost and lose the ones you're with.
Now the place is a ruin. Roller coasters tangled up with weeds, the merry-go-round gone brown with rust and a ferris wheel that only moves now with the wind.
His cousin Kiley had to close it the year she opened the park to Brian's third grade class fair. Joseph Beatty, armed with a blue Crayola marker and a lot of spunk, climbed up the ferris wheel to draw a transformer on the bolt holding it all together. He was the best drawer in their class, and he could mold any animal with Play-Doh. Before he fell, they said he'd be a great artist.
When he came back to school in September, he was in a wheelchair paralyzed from the neck down and the whole class presented him with a GET WELL poster. It was Brian's first demonstration of irony.
So Brian will crow about bitching kids and fat, balding dads and moms with fanny-packs--and he really would gnaw off his own elbows before he'd set foot on a ferris wheel--but Joey Beatty's the real reason he avoids amusement parks.
3
.
Brian only sends out Christmas cards once, the year Gus turns seven.
Mel has another affair and Gus gets a snowboard for his birthday. Brian can't think happy thoughts about Mel's unhappiness because of nightmares about fir trees and sudden cliffs and ice patches. Now Mel has to square with a scorned woman and a control freak of a biological father.
The melodrama from the affair continues into December, when Deb sends out a high-frequency call home for the holidays. Having ostracized herself from Brian and Lindsay, Mel wants to stay in Canada with J.R. Homesick and wanting Brian's sound bitchy support, Linds wants to go home with Gus. Oblivious to all, J.R. wants to see her Daddies. And Gus wants to go snowboarding in Switzerland.
There is no give from either side. Brian hates Mel, Mel hates Brian, Linds suffers Mel and Mel doesn't know. Life goes on, rama lama ding dong.
Then Justin arrives the Tuesday before Christmas and talks to Mel and Linds separately. By Thursday, J.R. is with Michael and Ben, Mel is with her Aunt Louise in Connecticut, Linds is staying with Deb and Gus and Justin are on a plane to Colorado.
In the picture, Gus has windburn and Justin has hives from the cold.
4
.
While Justin's in New York, Daphne starts dating a rodeo cowboy. His name is Jason and he's bi. His horse's name is Mollie. He should be a brunette, but he bleaches his hair.
When she brags, Justin almost pulls a stomach muscle.
Then Jason cheats on her with Ian the rodeo clown.
Justin hates life.
5
.
When Justin is twenty-six, he gets the flu. That isn't the noteworthy part. This is:
While he's tied to the bed (Brian *was* serious), sulking and wondering if he can pick up his paintbrush off the floor with his toes, Brian drops into bed next to him with a sketchbook. Justin wants to cross his arms and emphasize the bad mood he's in, but pretty much his only option is to look twelve, pouty and drippy.
Brian props his head on Justin's suspended wrist (bastard) and opens the book to a rough sketch of a stick man with a triangle for pants. Brian's drawn him customized Kinney-tale characters, starting with Pinocchio Pants. Justin laughs until he's not sure whether his face is wet with snot or tears. Brian is understandably smug.
When Justin promises to stay in bed this time, Brian unties him and they spend the hour before Justin falls asleep watching The Bourne Supremacy on HBO.
6
.
Emmett makes --->twenty tax-free bucks in 2010. In April, he gets an envelope postmarked from Canada (the Canadian equivalent ten U.S. dollars), a wrinkled ten beneath his plate of lemon bars--and a free issue of the newest Rage (valued at $10.19).
He doesn't remember why until he finds the E-Mail from last year:
Ten bucks says they buy their next place in Italy.
7
.
For his thirtieth birthday, Justin goes with Ben to China. Following the moderate success of his book about Christopher Marlowe, Ben's doing research for his next book on the global history of homosexuality. Justin was bored. And pissed off at Brian.
For something bad.
Ben turns out to be more gung-ho about research than anyone Justin's ever met. For someone who got A's by accident and who spends the majority of his time with a man who got a college scholarship through unending sarcasm and natural brilliance, this addiction to studying is a huge put-off. Ben attacks the libraries of Beijing with more enthusiasm than Justin imagined people were capable of.
Left with his own judgment, Justin wanders China.
Brian gets home from Prague to find their apartment in New York empty, the phones in London and Venice unanswered and Justin's cell phone out of service.
Three days later, he's in Beijing, trying to remember why putting his hands around Justin's neck and squeezing is bad. When he finds Justin, still bored and kind of mortified for losing his cell somewhere on the Great Wall, Brian doesn't remember so much as adds a new reason.
Will be X-Posted to scrooged_media
Written by: pinkpapyrus
(for kitkatbyte)
scrooged_media request:
Your choice of adventures!
Brian and Justin explore the rain forest canopy like in Medicine Man where there's lots of ropes and pulleys, or Brian and Justin go spelunking (exploring a cave) where there's... also ropes, but mud as well. Or they could go whitewater rafting! Or jump out of a plane! Maybe for Brian's 40th birthday? Or not.
1
.
Justin was named after his grandmother, Justina. (Strangely? Craig's idea.) Until he was four and old enough to be trusted to their fourteen-year-old neighbor Abigail, Craig's mother played nanny to Justin.
She is:
*the villain behind Justin's affection for Carmen Sandiego ("Technology and geography--more'n you can get from Gumby")
*the one who introduced him to soda at age five ("Tide you over 'til you find the wine cabinet")
and
*the first one to recognize the gayness ("So, my grandson is quite the young artist. He drew me a picture of the prince from The Little Mermaid last week. At any rate, t'was better than his drawing of chestless Ariel.")
She's also the one who encouraged his penchant for wandering ("Lived in Montana 'til I was twenty-four, little squire, and it drove me straight to the edge of the cuckoo cliff. So you see as much of the world as you can, kiddo, before you let one place just swallow you up.")
Justin hasn't seen her since she left Philly when he was seven. She divorced her third husband and moved to Kyoto to live in sin with a manga artist. For his twenty-third birthday, she sent him Japanese hair products and a toy android that grunts "ouch" if it falls into the kitchen sink.
2
.
Brian's cousin, the only one he'll admit biological attachment to, owned an amusement park a few miles west of Pittsburgh when he was younger. Brian only saw it once; Jack spared no love for his relatives and Joan didn't have quite enough faith in the Healing Power of the Lord to ride the Tilt-O-Whirl. What Brian does remember is on par with what he remembers of other places his parents kept him from going to. Big, loud and crowded. Easy to get lost and lose the ones you're with.
Now the place is a ruin. Roller coasters tangled up with weeds, the merry-go-round gone brown with rust and a ferris wheel that only moves now with the wind.
His cousin Kiley had to close it the year she opened the park to Brian's third grade class fair. Joseph Beatty, armed with a blue Crayola marker and a lot of spunk, climbed up the ferris wheel to draw a transformer on the bolt holding it all together. He was the best drawer in their class, and he could mold any animal with Play-Doh. Before he fell, they said he'd be a great artist.
When he came back to school in September, he was in a wheelchair paralyzed from the neck down and the whole class presented him with a GET WELL poster. It was Brian's first demonstration of irony.
So Brian will crow about bitching kids and fat, balding dads and moms with fanny-packs--and he really would gnaw off his own elbows before he'd set foot on a ferris wheel--but Joey Beatty's the real reason he avoids amusement parks.
3
.
Brian only sends out Christmas cards once, the year Gus turns seven.
Mel has another affair and Gus gets a snowboard for his birthday. Brian can't think happy thoughts about Mel's unhappiness because of nightmares about fir trees and sudden cliffs and ice patches. Now Mel has to square with a scorned woman and a control freak of a biological father.
The melodrama from the affair continues into December, when Deb sends out a high-frequency call home for the holidays. Having ostracized herself from Brian and Lindsay, Mel wants to stay in Canada with J.R. Homesick and wanting Brian's sound bitchy support, Linds wants to go home with Gus. Oblivious to all, J.R. wants to see her Daddies. And Gus wants to go snowboarding in Switzerland.
There is no give from either side. Brian hates Mel, Mel hates Brian, Linds suffers Mel and Mel doesn't know. Life goes on, rama lama ding dong.
Then Justin arrives the Tuesday before Christmas and talks to Mel and Linds separately. By Thursday, J.R. is with Michael and Ben, Mel is with her Aunt Louise in Connecticut, Linds is staying with Deb and Gus and Justin are on a plane to Colorado.
In the picture, Gus has windburn and Justin has hives from the cold.
4
.
While Justin's in New York, Daphne starts dating a rodeo cowboy. His name is Jason and he's bi. His horse's name is Mollie. He should be a brunette, but he bleaches his hair.
When she brags, Justin almost pulls a stomach muscle.
Then Jason cheats on her with Ian the rodeo clown.
Justin hates life.
5
.
When Justin is twenty-six, he gets the flu. That isn't the noteworthy part. This is:
While he's tied to the bed (Brian *was* serious), sulking and wondering if he can pick up his paintbrush off the floor with his toes, Brian drops into bed next to him with a sketchbook. Justin wants to cross his arms and emphasize the bad mood he's in, but pretty much his only option is to look twelve, pouty and drippy.
Brian props his head on Justin's suspended wrist (bastard) and opens the book to a rough sketch of a stick man with a triangle for pants. Brian's drawn him customized Kinney-tale characters, starting with Pinocchio Pants. Justin laughs until he's not sure whether his face is wet with snot or tears. Brian is understandably smug.
When Justin promises to stay in bed this time, Brian unties him and they spend the hour before Justin falls asleep watching The Bourne Supremacy on HBO.
6
.
Emmett makes --->twenty tax-free bucks in 2010. In April, he gets an envelope postmarked from Canada (the Canadian equivalent ten U.S. dollars), a wrinkled ten beneath his plate of lemon bars--and a free issue of the newest Rage (valued at $10.19).
He doesn't remember why until he finds the E-Mail from last year:
Ten bucks says they buy their next place in Italy.
7
.
For his thirtieth birthday, Justin goes with Ben to China. Following the moderate success of his book about Christopher Marlowe, Ben's doing research for his next book on the global history of homosexuality. Justin was bored. And pissed off at Brian.
For something bad.
Ben turns out to be more gung-ho about research than anyone Justin's ever met. For someone who got A's by accident and who spends the majority of his time with a man who got a college scholarship through unending sarcasm and natural brilliance, this addiction to studying is a huge put-off. Ben attacks the libraries of Beijing with more enthusiasm than Justin imagined people were capable of.
Left with his own judgment, Justin wanders China.
Brian gets home from Prague to find their apartment in New York empty, the phones in London and Venice unanswered and Justin's cell phone out of service.
Three days later, he's in Beijing, trying to remember why putting his hands around Justin's neck and squeezing is bad. When he finds Justin, still bored and kind of mortified for losing his cell somewhere on the Great Wall, Brian doesn't remember so much as adds a new reason.
Will be X-Posted to scrooged_media